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  1. #61
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    Guests don't need to do much I will tidy after them and serve them to a certain extent if they see you busy with the kids they should use common sense and help you a little with a screaming kid or baby
    If I were cleaning up after my parents wouldn't say much how many years did they clean for me. Other young adults coming and going like BIL I would do basics like meals.
    Last edited by Mummy5ormore; 06-11-2014 at 22:29.

  2. #62
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    Quote Originally Posted by VicPark View Post
    Following on from this: what is a polite way of telling someone they are lazy and they need to pull their finger out?

    Or do you just forget politeness?
    I just ask. ie Dad please bath kid1 as I need to bf kid2. how is your dad supposed to know you need help?

    btw I saw your evening plan - I woudnt know where to offer help at all either in that evening.

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    Haven't read entire threat yet, just answering op-I don't expect guests to do anything and kind of feel uncomfortable when they do because they are my guest

  4. #64
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    Depends how much I like them haha

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    VicPark  (07-11-2014)

  6. #65
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    Quote Originally Posted by ProudMumma34 View Post
    I don't expect anything at all from my parents or from house guests. It's only 4 days. If I was really busy doing stuff and had a crying baby I'd ask my parents to watch my child whilw i attend to whatrver it is. But it sounds like you expect too much from your parents and I find it quite bizarre that you have these expectations of them and would call them lazy!
    I'm not calling my mother lazy, just my father. And if my baby was crying and I asked my father to help he probably wouldn't. Last time he was visiting I was by myself (no hubby), trying to get my eldest ready for daycare had both kids crying... I asked my father if he could feed the baby for me and he said "... No... I have to have a shower then listen to the radio."

    I think he has earned his lazy title. My mother would agree...says he is lazy at home as well...

  7. #66
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    Quote Originally Posted by Rose&Aurelia View Post

    btw I saw your evening plan - I woudnt know where to offer help at all either in that evening.
    Whaddya mean? Plenty of opportunity to offer help:

    "Here let me clean the crayon off the tile"
    "Can I chop something for dinner."
    "Let me sweep that mess from the floor"
    "I will watch the baby while you sort that out"

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    MsViking  (07-11-2014)

  9. #67
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    I expect my guests to put dishes in sink, leave bathroom clean, tidy up after themselves etc.

    If I have friends staying, I wouldn't really ask them to help with anything.

    If it was my parents, I would not expect much, but my dad loves cooking so he would cook every night. He's not so great with the kids. He's 75 so kinda past small children stage. My mum has MS and is in permanently in a wheelchair/electric chair so she really can't help with much but she likes washing up or folding washing when she's here to feel like she's helping.

    My in laws are a bit harder to have, but they live in Ireland so it's not like they're here all the time. I do find it exhausting when they come because they don't cook and they have their main meal in the middle of the day, so I feel like I'm always in the kitchen cooking for them and then cooking for us in the evenings. Whilst I don't expect guests to wash up, I did find it very annoying and convenient that my mil would only offer to wash up once it was done. My FIL doesn't even put his plate in the sink, which I find very rude/annoying. My in laws are younger and healthier than my parents so they are much more helpful with the kids and do love taking them to park etc.

    If I wanted them to do something (parents or in laws) then I would just ask. I find it interesting that someone so forthright on bh seems to be so restrained irl.

  10. #68
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    Quote Originally Posted by VicPark View Post
    Whaddya mean? Plenty of opportunity to offer help:

    "Here let me clean the crayon off the tile"
    "Can I chop something for dinner."
    "Let me sweep that mess from the floor"
    "I will watch the baby while you sort that out"
    Cos your routine is not mine. I just wouldn't know where to help and I certainly don't interfere in other people's cooking styles.

    Cos in my little world and house I'd never be cooking dinner in the evening at that time for kids or myself.

    I'd also not be wrapping presents till way later after bed. Or tidying till kids passed out.

    What I'm trying to say vp is that I've got a similar gap in my kids but our parenting styles and methods vary so greatly that I would rather do nothing than offend you in your house.

    wifey of hubby who is always away. mother of two girls who are always amusing.

  11. #69
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    My brother stayed with me for almost year. I didn't expect anything other than he clean up after himself ie do own laundry and put dirty dishes in sink.
    He would do all the dishes, offer to hang washing and take it in, do his own laundry, sweep floor.

    If it was situation described I wouldn't expect anything but would appreciate they watch kids for a bit if I was busy with something else.

  12. #70
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    Quote Originally Posted by Rose&Aurelia View Post

    What I'm trying to say vp is that I've got a similar gap in my kids but our parenting styles and methods vary so greatly that I would rather do nothing than offend you in your house.
    .
    That doesn't make sense to me ... Many people would find doing nothing while others are obviously over-worked as rude... Not many people would think a "what can I do to help?" Question as rude..?...


 

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