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  1. #51
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    Isn't your fav Dr Phil saying - you teach people how to treat you? Your dad probably doesn't help because you've never asked him too? If you actually asked him to help you with your nightly routine when he is there would he?

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  3. #52
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    Quote Originally Posted by Elijahs Mum View Post
    Isn't your fav Dr Phil saying - you teach people how to treat you? Your dad probably doesn't help because you've never asked him too? If you actually asked him to help you with your nightly routine when he is there would he?
    Oh I do... Today out shopping:
    Me: "do you want to push the pram while I help mum shop for her outfit?"
    Father: "no, I'm going to do stuff." (Then I see him 3 hours later when we are about to leave).

    When I was still living at home:
    Father: "make me a sandwich"
    Me: "make it yourself"

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    Quote Originally Posted by Elijahs Mum View Post
    Isn't your fav Dr Phil saying - you teach people how to treat you? Your dad probably doesn't help because you've never asked him too? If you actually asked him to help you with your nightly routine when he is there would he?
    Following on from this: what is a polite way of telling someone they are lazy and they need to pull their finger out?

    Or do you just forget politeness?

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    If it were my dad id say " dad can you grab DS2 while I deal with DS 1" or " dad can you do me a favour and put the garbage out" or as simple as "dad I need your help"

    Nothing to do with not being polite - be nice but assertive - they are your parents not royalty! It sounds like you are scared of them or scared to tell them how you feel?

  6. #55
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    Quote Originally Posted by harvs View Post
    VP's are they there as your guests or there to help give you a break? My feelings would depend on that.
    This was my question too.
    to me, guests are guests and I host the same way - or I don't accommodate them. I say "sorry it's not possible for you to come and stay"
    That's just me personally.
    I have no expectations that guests do anything other than the basic expectations of cleanliness. E.g hang your wet towels up, if you spill wipe it up.
    The difference is if they've come to visit to help. Totally different. They're not guests then, they're helpers. Expectations are different in that case.

  7. #56
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    This is an interesting thread

    I personally love guests either invited or surprise. Our guest bedroom is decorated nicer than ours and always made up waiting and I do a little basket of toiletries incase you forgot something and I put a pitcher of water in your room so you don't stub your toe in the dark in an unfamiliar house when you get thirsty. Yes I know it's naff but I like to make guests as welcome as possible. I love to cook so I enjoy spoiling people with indulgent meals and I am always turning down offers and don't even notice if you didn't offer.

    I am always conscious of helping when being a guest too I love to help

    BUT I don't have kids, I would expect parents or in laws to dote on their grandkids but otherwise I can't say as I am not a busy mum with too little time and not enough hands.

    As for asking for help I am pretty comfortable with a would you mind ..... for me please? No matter who it is

    Sent from my GT-I9506 using The Bub Hub mobile app

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    I don't expect anything at all from my parents or from house guests. It's only 4 days. If I was really busy doing stuff and had a crying baby I'd ask my parents to watch my child whilw i attend to whatrver it is. But it sounds like you expect too much from your parents and I find it quite bizarre that you have these expectations of them and would call them lazy!

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    Quote Originally Posted by hapuhope View Post
    This is an interesting thread

    I personally love guests either invited or surprise. Our guest bedroom is decorated nicer than ours and always made up waiting and I do a little basket of toiletries incase you forgot something and I put a pitcher of water in your room so you don't stub your toe in the dark in an unfamiliar house when you get thirsty. Yes I know it's naff but I like to make guests as welcome as possible. I love to cook so I enjoy spoiling people with indulgent meals and I am always turning down offers and don't even notice if you didn't offer.

    I am always conscious of helping when being a guest too I love to help

    BUT I don't have kids, I would expect parents or in laws to dote on their grandkids but otherwise I can't say as I am not a busy mum with too little time and not enough hands.

    As for asking for help I am pretty comfortable with a would you mind ..... for me please? No matter who it is

    Sent from my GT-I9506 using The Bub Hub mobile app
    Can I just say thats so freaking awesome!!

    Sent from my GT-I9505 using The Bub Hub mobile app

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  11. #59
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    If someone is close enough they stay in my house they're automatically part of the furniture.
    I don't expect them to do anything out of the normal like tidy up after themselves and stuff but if I need help I tell them what I need them to do. So if I had guests but I was at work and needed dinner cooked I'd get them to prep the veggies. If my hands are full and the washing machine finished I get them to toss it in the dryer.
    If they make more work than I already had they aren't "guests" they're just PITA who I don't allow to stay over. They do day visits.

    I don't let many people actually stay at my house overnight except as a "drunk as hell with housemate. Must pass out on couch and bugger off first thing in Morning." I don't count them as guests though. And the ones who do stay past morning are subject to the same rules.

  12. #60
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    this has been a fascinating thread to read. I often have guests over to visit or stay for a bit. In my house guests are not expected to do anything other than look after their own personal hygiene. I will wash all their laundry and give it back folded/ironed as needed. Usually I will prepare all their favourite foods/snacks and stock up pantry/fridge as per their likes. If I'm going to work before they wake up I usually leave pancakes or eggs in the oven keeping warm as needed.

    BUT I have fabulous family and friends that help out all the time when they visit.

    My mother will mind the kids, wash up as needed, bring in clothes off the line, bath kids, tidy playroom, feed the kids etc

    my dad only visits briefly but will always bring a meal for me and treats for the kids. he wont toilet or bath the kids but will play/mind them whilst I attend to the housework.

    my MIL is brilliant. she cooks, cleans, bakes, irons, tidies the house, washes/sorts/puts away laundry, changes sheets as needed, vacuums, grocery shops, sorts out the kids toys/clothing if needed, buys me flowers/presents, gets up to the kids overnight/early morning so I can rest. plus she is great with the kids

    my FIL not so brilliant. but he loves the kids and will walk a crying baby for hours.

    my friends are lovely- they always arrive with coffee/cake

    I don't ask anyone to do anything for me but I do appreciate the help.


 

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