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  1. #21
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    I don't expect anything but any help is appreciated.

  2. #22
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    When we were interstate from all family we would have a lot of people come and stay. It would depend on the length of the trip and what was going on. For example, when my bubs were little most family would say they were coming over so they could help out - so I'd put them to work. My mum just does whatever she sees needs doing. Post CS I needed to direct her to the tasks that were impossible for me (as she was doing the things I could do and leaving those I couldn't) but she'd keep pretty busy.

    My brother is the best houseguest. He's been the SAHP a lot and just knows what needs doing.

    The ILs, especially MIL, need explicit instruction on what I want help with. I hate it. It feels like I'm bossing her around, but she says she's coming to stay to help, it's at a time when I need help, so I figure I can either get resentful or just ask for what I need done to be done.

    If it was just a short visit (eg. a 2-3 days) or if it was friends/distant family, I don't expect anything but I LOVE it when they cook dinner one night or wash up. Those guests get invited back!

    Obviously, I stayed with family a lot too. Usually the first night I'd be a wreck after a flight with kids and just want to relax. Then I make sure I do the dishes each night, clean up the benches etc, cook at least one main meal if practical, help with food prep, wash my own/kids clothes and tidy up after my two tornados! I also strip the beds when I go (and remake if there is a second set of linen).

  3. #23
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    Basically pick up after themselves and thats it. Im happy to cook and wash and load the dishwasher. I just dont want dirty clothes or towels or shoes etc laying around the house.

    Tidy up after yourself and you're welcome at my place

    Sent from my GT-I9505 using The Bub Hub mobile app

  4. #24
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    Here's the run down of my parents over a typical day:

    Mother: has spurts of usefulness, ok guest
    - unload dishwasher x 1
    - hand wash some dishes x 1
    - feed baby meal x 1
    - fold clothes x 1
    - hold baby when I'm busy with toddler x 2
    - will take dishes to sink x 3
    - watch toddler outside while I am busy with bub x 1
    - at other times will be totally oblivious (eg go out for a ciggie when bubs screaming and toddler needs help with toilet)

    Father: useless as tits on a bull
    - will hold baby 2 x per day when trying to get a photo to put on Facebook
    - that's it.
    - will leave dishes on table
    - will sit in another room watching TV all day
    - we will be out shopping, I have 2 kids in two and he will go solo for 3 hours and meet up only when leaving
    - leaves newspapers/bags/clothes in the table/floor/chairs etc


    They don't help with dinner. So from 5-8 hubby and I are busy with bub/toddler dinner/bath/bed etc. Hubby and I will start cooking dinner after 8. We won't have dinner ready until 8:30. Could have been earlier if the guests had offered to chop/stir something etc..
    After dinner both parents split (mum went for a ciggie, dad played on his laptop) while hubby and I cleaned the table/kitchen etc. I noticed my fathers empty beer bottle on the table and said "are you finished with this?" He said "yes." I replied "I will put it in the recycle for you then."

    To be honest I expect both parents to do what my mother does (helps out occasionally) plus cook dinner and clean up afterwards 1 out of the 4 nights they are staying.

    About to tell my father to get off his fat lazy ****...

    Over reacting or not? Wwyd...?
    Last edited by VicPark; 06-11-2014 at 20:21.

  5. #25
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    If they are only here for a week or so don't expect them to do anything. I've normally got the house cleaned before they get here so I can spend time with them. Then I get up early normally so I do a quick tidy up, load of washing etc before they are up. Unless it's my Mum and she will beat me too it.

  6. #26
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    The way I look at it is I'd have to cook and clean and look after the kids myself if they werent there, so it wouldn't really phase me.

    As for your dad - stop beating around the bush. Instead of asking him if he is done with his beer and being passive agressive, just say, hey dad do you mind popping your beer bottle in the recycling when you're done with it, thanks.

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    Starfish30  (07-11-2014)

  8. #27
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    Quote Originally Posted by VicPark View Post
    Here's the run down of my parents over a typical day:

    Mother: has spurts of usefulness, ok guest
    - unload dishwasher x 1
    - hand wash some dishes x 1
    - feed baby meal x 1
    - fold clothes x 1
    - hold baby when I'm busy with toddler x 2
    - will take dishes to sink x 3
    - watch toddler outside while I am busy with bub x 1
    - at other times will be totally oblivious (eg go out for a ciggie when bubs screaming and toddler needs help with toilet)

    Father: useless as tits on a bull
    - will hold baby 2 x per day when trying to get a photo to put on Facebook
    - that's it.
    - will leave dishes on table
    - will sit in another room watching TV all day
    - we will be out shopping, I have 2 kids in two and he will go solo for 3 hours and meet up only when leaving
    - leaves newspapers/bags/clothes in the table/floor/chairs etc


    They don't help with dinner. So from 5-8 hubby and I are busy with bub/toddler dinner/bath/bed etc. Hubby and I will start cooking dinner after 8. We won't have dinner ready until 8:30. Could have been earlier if the guests had offered to chop/stir something etc..
    After dinner both parents split (mum went for a ciggie, dad played on his laptop) while hubby and I cleaned the table/kitchen etc. I noticed my fathers empty beer bottle on the table and said "are you finished with this?" He said "yes." I replied "I will put it in the recycle for you then."

    To be honest I expect both parents to do what my mother does (helps out occasionally) plus cook dinner and clean up afterwards 1 out of the 4 nights they are staying.

    About to tell my father to get off his fat lazy ****...

    Over reacting or not? Wwyd...?
    I don't think your parents need to cook and clean up one night when they are staying for four nights really. Sure it would be nice, but to expect it? Nope. My dad can be a bit lazy when he comes over for a visit and creates mess. I don't clean up after him. He's my dad. I just tell him to put his rubbish in the bin and dishes in the kitchen etc. and make a bit of a joke out of it to keep the mood light.
    Honestly, you're so forward on bh, why do you beat around the bush so much with your parents? Can't you just say to your dad 'hey dad, can you clean up after yourself cause I have enough to do cleaning up after the kids all day, thanks.'

  9. #28
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    I would expect him to put his beer bottle in the kitchen at least and generally don't leave mess around. But no I don't think you really have the right to ask them to pitch in more, do housework, and entertain your kids. They're guests. Plus they're your parents, how many years did they slave over you, and now you can't turn the tables and care for them just for 4 days?
    You and your hubby have 2 kids, one each, if you can't get them all done and dinner before 830....

  10. #29
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    Quote Originally Posted by Party of Three View Post
    you just say to your dad 'hey dad, can you clean up after yourself cause I have enough to do cleaning up after the kids all day, thanks.'
    Might just have to.... If I open that floodgate, I'm afraid I will be brutally honest eg "gee you're a lazy ***. Can you put your empty stubbie in the bin please."

  11. #30
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    Quote Originally Posted by CMF View Post
    I would expect him to put his beer bottle in the kitchen at least and generally don't leave mess around. But no I don't think you really have the right to ask them to pitch in more, do housework, and entertain your kids. They're guests. Plus they're your parents, how many years did they slave over you, and now you can't turn the tables and care for them just for 4 days?
    You and your hubby have 2 kids, one each, if you can't get them all done and dinner before 830....
    Slave..... Hmmmm... Perhaps not My father did stuff all for my sister and I growing up ... He was one of the types to expect the woman to do it all. As for my mother she did a bit but more often than not my sister and I looked after ourselves as mum was usually outside smoking...


 

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