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  1. #1
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    Default Feeling horrible :(

    Hi all, I had a phone call from my boss (I'm on maternity leave) to start back on Monday with no warning and no transition into full time. My dd is only 10 months old and has never been in any sort of day care or even away from me for more than a couple of hours. I only have today and tomorrow to do a few play dates with her at the centre before bam! 5 days. My partner is going to finish early for a few weeks and pick her up between 12 and 2pm and I will drop her off at 8am so atleast for a few weeks she won't be stuck there all day.

    I just feel so guilty and physically sick at the whole idea. It's just been her and I everyday for 10months. I feel like she will feel abandoned. I'm so upset.

    Has anyone had any experiences similar? How do I do this? I don't think I can cope I just don't know what to do or how to feel

    My dd is very social and happy hardly ever cries and is very easy going I know she will enjoy the stimulation and seeing the other kids but my heart breaks that it will be 5 days

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    You are not abandoning her. I hated feeling like that even now on occasion I feel that.

    Does your boss not have to give you some form of notice? Just like you have to give notice when you wish to return.

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    I'm sorry OP I completely understand. My stomach used to be in knots dropping DS off, and that feeling did taper off to some degree. That being said, I used to get pangs of it every now and then.

    Good luck!

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    That really doesn't sound right what your boss is doing - did you organise a return date etc when you started leave? Might be worth checking with fair work because that sounds dodgy.

    Edited to say I extended my mat leave for a month, went back part time for a month when DD was 8mths before returning to work full time from 8am-4pm.

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    Last edited by Izzys Dragon; 06-11-2014 at 09:32.

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    I don't believe your workplace can do this. Please call Fairwork!!!

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    It seems ridiculous! There was no warning.. I was going to start putting her in for two days a week and start the transition to full time when I was going to go back in January. Now all of a sudden they expect this? My boss is a mother how can she disregard my concerns?
    I said I wanted a couple of weeks notice so I could transition her atleast until I was comfortable with leaving her for 5 hours there until dh picks her up. I know it's not long but it's just so sudden and extremely overwhelming. I'm about to go to her play date at the nursery with her and I am going to chat with the carers (I used to work there). I am confident about the environment she will be in (all long term staff and they all know me and I know their involvement with the babies). And it helps that dh will be picking her up early. But I think I need some time first. If my boss cracks off about it I will take it further! To be honest I'm already resenting this position and not sure if I even want to go back now I know how inflexible they have become. So angry and upset and confused

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    Quote Originally Posted by firsttimemum34 View Post
    I don't believe your workplace can do this. Please call Fairwork!!!
    I second this. I don't have any experience with maternity leave but it doesn't sound right!

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    it is so hard. You feel so awful about leaving her ... but you are not abandoning her. You are working to make a life for you and your family - and that is important too.

    She will be safe, happy, well cared for and will still love you ... though the shock of it happening right-now is awful for you isnt helping the situation.

    Can you talk to your boss about maybe working 4 days? or finishing early a couple of days a week? Just a few extra hours seems to make a lot of difference.


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    Sorry but you must be leaving out some info... You know you are entitled to 12 months leave? Or have you already had that much? If so, they are entitled to expect you back 12 months after you started leave.

    Did you get a letter or email when you went on leave confirming your leave start and end dates? Even if you didn't, they are still entitled to expect you back 12 months after departure.

    Obviously good practice is for communication to take place before that point. It sounds like you didn't call them and they didn't call you?

    If you haven't had 12 months then you do not have to return. Just put it in writing and confirm your return date.

    You also have the right to request additional parental leave but this can be refused.

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    Your work place sucks, if you don't want to go back call fair work and find out what your rights are.

    I felt sick about returning to work with my 10 month old. I cried for months with the anticipation of it! But when he started going it was much easier than I thought. I finished up at 3pm daily though so I still felt we had lots of time together, and he enjoyed the change of scenery - and goes to a fantastic day care.

    If you want to give work a go, just make no promises to yourself that you will stay. You still have a choice. Try it on for size and see how you feel. My bub is also sociable and he really didn't care much that I was not around even though we were attached to the hip until then and he had never spent a single day or night away from me.


 

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