No. It does not mean that you have PND just because you dont enjoy being a Stay at home mum.
Actually - that doesnt mean that you dont enjoy being a Mum ... just because staying at home all day with 2 small children doesnt fulfill you it doesnt make you a bad Mum at all ... it just means that it doesnt fill you with joy. Its perfectly normal
Some people really are fulfilled and enjoy that day to day 'groundhog' small children phase ... and others dont. Some people really like the little baby stage, or the 4/5 yr old stage .... and others dont.
There are a few things you can think about to make it a little better
- can you put them (or even just the older one) in child care and do some casual work, or volunteer or do something for yourself regularly.
- perhaps do something at home .. a hobby or an interest that will give you something for you
- maybe study or a training course. Photography, art, language ... anything that is going to give you some personal satisfaction really
- excercise. it sounds ridiculous and its often incredibly difficult with small children, but a short amount of excercise regularly (once or twice a week) WILL make you feel better. It doesnt have to be full on ... just something you enjoy like a walk, a run, a bike ride, a gym class, swimming ... whatever you like doing.
- always remember that this too will pass. The kids WILL grow, and become more active and more interesting. Once the older one starts school and they have activities and play dates. They have conversations with you and become their own little person ... it gets to be much more fun and much less isolating
- chat here on bubhub. It saved my sanity when DD was little as I found it very lonely being at home with no one to talk to ... but I could chat with friends, have conversations and help people. Be an actual adult