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  1. #11
    BH-KatiesMum's Avatar
    BH-KatiesMum is offline Community Manager
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    No. It does not mean that you have PND just because you dont enjoy being a Stay at home mum.

    Actually - that doesnt mean that you dont enjoy being a Mum ... just because staying at home all day with 2 small children doesnt fulfill you it doesnt make you a bad Mum at all ... it just means that it doesnt fill you with joy. Its perfectly normal

    Some people really are fulfilled and enjoy that day to day 'groundhog' small children phase ... and others dont. Some people really like the little baby stage, or the 4/5 yr old stage .... and others dont.

    There are a few things you can think about to make it a little better

    - can you put them (or even just the older one) in child care and do some casual work, or volunteer or do something for yourself regularly.

    - perhaps do something at home .. a hobby or an interest that will give you something for you

    - maybe study or a training course. Photography, art, language ... anything that is going to give you some personal satisfaction really

    - excercise. it sounds ridiculous and its often incredibly difficult with small children, but a short amount of excercise regularly (once or twice a week) WILL make you feel better. It doesnt have to be full on ... just something you enjoy like a walk, a run, a bike ride, a gym class, swimming ... whatever you like doing.

    - always remember that this too will pass. The kids WILL grow, and become more active and more interesting. Once the older one starts school and they have activities and play dates. They have conversations with you and become their own little person ... it gets to be much more fun and much less isolating

    - chat here on bubhub. It saved my sanity when DD was little as I found it very lonely being at home with no one to talk to ... but I could chat with friends, have conversations and help people. Be an actual adult


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  3. #12
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    Subbing as ive been asking myself the same thing. Due with ds anyday now and I dont know how I will cope with dd 21 months and a newborn
    Im finding toddlerhood tough and oh so mundane! Now to throw a newborn in the mix... hope I can cope

    Sent from my GT-I9505 using The Bub Hub mobile app

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    Quote Originally Posted by olismumma View Post
    Subbing as ive been asking myself the same thing. Due with ds anyday now and I dont know how I will cope with dd 21 months and a newborn
    Im finding toddlerhood tough and oh so mundane! Now to throw a newborn in the mix... hope I can cope

    Sent from my GT-I9505 using The Bub Hub mobile app
    It's surprising how you just have to run with it, but I count my blessings that I've had an easy newborn and though DDs behaviour in the day is appalling, she still sleeps through.

    Thanks everyone for your responses, I agree I don't think it's PND, but I definitely could be tKing everything in my stride more.

    Thank you @KatiesMum, some great suggestions there. I'm lucky that DD goes with her grandparents twice a week, I just need to pull out my finger on the hobbies and interests, I need to MAKE me time and make sure I get as much of it as possible. I must admit, I can't wait for the day both kids are no longer toddlers, I know I'll enjoy those times more, especially as I'll be back at work, I'm just wary that I don't want to wish my life away - I just can't help it when I'm stuck in a rut and prefer to think about the future good times, rather than make the present the best it can be.


    Our Family is now complete.
    Welcome DS The 'Easy One' 28.09.2014.
    Feisty and Independent DD 02.03.2012
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    Wow this thread makes me feel so much better about my own feelings towards motherhood.

    Katiesmum, that was a brilliant post!

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    Now if anyone could could give me consructive advice when i don't want a baby at all in any way shape or form and i am having one in a few weeks......i would be very happy. I had two prems and technically it could even happen tomorrow. :?

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    Great post katiesmum

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    Quote Originally Posted by tastychicken View Post
    Now if anyone could could give me consructive advice when i don't want a baby at all in any way shape or form and i am having one in a few weeks......i would be very happy. I had two prems and technically it could even happen tomorrow. :?
    This was me, minus the prem bit. All I can say is that I have always loved my third, but I definitely just went through the motions of caring for a baby and couldn't wait for the baby years to pass so we could move past it all and go back to 'getting on with life.' It was hard, but my older two were younger than yours too. That little surprise baby lights up our world so much.

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    Quote Originally Posted by tastychicken View Post
    Now if anyone could could give me consructive advice when i don't want a baby at all in any way shape or form and i am having one in a few weeks......i would be very happy. I had two prems and technically it could even happen tomorrow. :?
    I wish I had some advice for you but I can commiserate as I really felt the same way when I was pregnant - I hated it and wasn't sure I wanted a baby. And that feeling lasted for the first couple of weeks. I still have occasional moments, when I can't do something that I want to do or when bub is being fussy and just wants to be held, where I ask myself why we did this. But now they really are fleeting, and generally when I'm ridiculously overtired.

    Yesterday I was in tears. Bub was crying and wouldn't sleep at all during the day. I just couldn't take it any more. He cried and I cried along with him. But then I propped him up on a pillow just to get him off me for a short stint and he gave me this massive double dimple smile. All my frustration just melted away. They are amazing little creatures and it is incredible to watch them grow.


 

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