+ Reply to Thread
Page 6 of 8 FirstFirst ... 45678 LastLast
Results 51 to 60 of 75
  1. #51
    Join Date
    Jun 2009
    Location
    Sydney
    Posts
    3,230
    Thanks
    650
    Thanked
    886
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 posts
    We always said 2 but then I started to want a 3rd... The arguments were horrid. We really went thru a rough patch.

    We ended up having 3 - and dh is really happy to have him, but it took a lot of compromise and understanding from both of us.

    I wouldn't have divorced him over it, but I do think that then all the other things that grate on you about your partner start to bubble up and that's when the thought of leaving each other starts.

    For me I think I would have resented him for the rest of our life (or at least a reaaaaly long time) if we didn't have. 3rd.

    No regrets. He is a beautiful baby, it's hasn't been easy but I believe for our family including our older kids, having him was absolutely the right thing to do.

  2. #52
    Join Date
    Feb 2010
    Posts
    1,124
    Thanks
    40
    Thanked
    553
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 posts
    We would like a third but it's likely to not happen we've had two failed Ivf cycle with frozen embryos and we will do one more then will stop as it's too draining financially and emotionally and I'm getting old.

    I'm just so envious of others who can have three, how do I get over it? We will foster a child long term / permanent care to have our third child, but not until next year.

    Will this fulfill me do you think? (I come from a large family.)

  3. #53
    Join Date
    Sep 2014
    Location
    Sydney
    Posts
    2,841
    Thanks
    1,819
    Thanked
    1,421
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 posts
    Awards:
    100 Posts in a week
    No, I could not. And I'm sure he couldn't forgive me for forcing him to have one.

    We are going through this now... DH convinced me to have one, and now does not want one...

  4. #54
    Join Date
    Aug 2009
    Posts
    2,860
    Thanks
    1,248
    Thanked
    1,444
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 posts
    This is a hard one. Because denying someone a child when their soul yearns for one is surely just as tough on them, as forcing another child upon someone who doesn't. I like to go by the old saying "you only regret the children you don't have".
    When we had just welcomed #2 to the family, DH was flat out "no more". However after talking on it, making it clear how much it means to me, and working through the issues and fears he had regarding a larger family, we came to a good place where we are both happy for a third (and hopefully more). For us we worked out what DH was worried about and came up with plans to counter those concerns i.e. ensuring he still has time for hobbies, having a survival plan in place for those newborn days, etc.
    I'm so grateful he could see how much it meant to me, and put my needs before his own.

  5. #55
    Join Date
    Sep 2009
    Posts
    722
    Thanks
    186
    Thanked
    167
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 posts
    My DH said flat out he did not want a third. I desperately did and he agreed to support me through ivf to do it. Now I'm so so sick with morning sickness and he's doing everything around the house and working full time and caring for 2 kids. I think he's the most amazing man because he's supporting me to achieve my dream of a bigger family. But I have to say, I have and will continue to make a zillion compromises/sacrifices to help him achieve his dreams too. So for example, because he travels a lot for work I'm basically on my own a lot, have had to stop progressing my career, don't go out much, work tirelessly around the house so he doesn't have to do anything when he's home. I'm stupidly happy and I think he is too. We both make big sacrifices and compromise but we both get to achieve our dreams by supporting each other. I think it is about compromise and sacrifice on both sides. I'd never ever push him for a fourth though!!!

  6. The Following 6 Users Say Thank You to bella25 For This Useful Post:

    delirium  (05-04-2015),littleblue169  (26-04-2015),monnie24  (26-04-2015),mrsboyts  (27-04-2015),TTC7  (26-04-2015),Wise Enough  (05-04-2015)

  7. #56
    Join Date
    Sep 2009
    Posts
    4,662
    Thanks
    1,961
    Thanked
    2,567
    Reviews
    6
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 posts
    Yes, and given how much I am struggling at the moment I wish he had of tried harder to dissuade me from having a third. In saying that a flat out 'no' would **** me off but a carefully thought out list of reasons that we could talk about would be ok.

  8. #57
    Join Date
    Sep 2009
    Posts
    3,377
    Thanks
    820
    Thanked
    1,104
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 posts
    This is a question being asked in my marriage at the moment....in all honesty, I don't know and that terrifies me.

  9. #58
    Join Date
    Jun 2013
    Posts
    2,936
    Thanks
    1,741
    Thanked
    1,273
    Reviews
    6
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 posts
    I'm not sure I could.
    I've just split with my husband and I'm angry that most likely now DD will be my only child.
    We had had plans to have more children.
    Had he not become abusive, had I not have to leave him, had he not been unsupportive and unhelpful with DD, Id have had more children.
    I think now at my age the likelihood that Id meet someone in time to have another baby is slim.
    I don't think I can forgive him.
    However my situation is very different as I don't need to see him everyday.
    I think as previously suggested you need to work out which is more important to you, him or another child.
    If it's him, perhaps some counseling will help you through the emotional stuff of not having that last bub.

  10. #59
    Join Date
    Apr 2015
    Posts
    14
    Thanks
    9
    Thanked
    3
    Reviews
    0
    This is such an interesting thread.
    I have ds7 and ds9, and would love another with my current partner.
    we have been together for 4 1/2 years, and have had one termination (we had only been dating for a few months).
    I want to share parenthood with him,and all the joy that comes with it. he just keeps saying 'maybe' and 'we'll see'
    I have now given him a timeline,as i wish to donate eggs. I have said that in 3 years i will be donating egss, and if he wants children it will be before that.

    Truth be told, i dont think i will ever forgive him if we dont have a child together.Though id love to be a stronger person that that, it is such an important part of my life.

    That being said, i would fight tooth and nail for our relationship. If it did break up from such a thing, it would not be without trying.

  11. #60
    Join Date
    May 2006
    Posts
    10,012
    Thanks
    14,124
    Thanked
    7,612
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 postsAmethyst Star - 5,000 postsEmerald Star - 10,000 posts
    Awards:
    100 Posts in a week
    So in the situation we'd already have kids tougher but not the amount we agreed on?
    If we didn't already have kids, I'd leave. If we already had kids, it would probably make me very resentful and I'm not sure it is something I could get past. It wouldn't even be the fact that he didn't want another kid, it would more be the fact that we had agreed on a number - and I had thought we were on the same page and then half way through he has changed the game. That is what would upset me most.

    Quote Originally Posted by L0ve3 View Post
    Well the title really explans it all, if you were in a situation where you desperately desired for another child, you had tried to move on and felt you couldn't, your whole being just longed to extend your family and your husband outright refused to give you another child, what would that do to you?
    Could you really say that you could move on and be ok with that? Would it ruin your marriage? If you had originally agreed on a number and he backed up would that make you hurt and angry? How would you overcome it? I'm really in need of some advice because I'm sick of asking, begging and pleading with my husband for another child all for him to come up with the same things, too much money, effort etc.. I understand these are all real legit reasons to consider before having another child but could you also deny your partner something that meant that much to them either?


 

Similar Threads

  1. I had a surgical termination and can not forgive myself.
    By VampireCircus in forum Terminations
    Replies: 19
    Last Post: 07-12-2013, 13:13
  2. How to forgive someone?
    By bubbles89 in forum General Chat
    Replies: 19
    Last Post: 19-11-2013, 22:55

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
free weekly newsletters | sign up now!
who are these people who write great posts? meet our hubbub authors!
Learn how you can contribute to the hubbub!

reviews
learn how you can become a reviewer!

competitions

forum - chatting now
christmas gift guidesee all Red Stocking
Mother and Baby Shop
Save $$$ during our Christmas Sale Mother and Baby Shop
Great prices on Schoenhut kids pianos, toys, baby clothing as well as big brands like Pigeon, NUK, Cherub Baby and many more. Sale starts on 1 November 2016 and ends on the 27 December 2016. Hurry! Place your order today!
sales & new stuffsee all
Bub Hub Sales Listing
HAVING A SALE? Let parents know about it with a Bub Hub Sales listing. Listings are featured on our well trafficked Sales Page + selected randomly to appear on EVERY page
featured supporter
Sarah Tooke Childbirth & Parenting Education
Providing private, personalised antenatal childbirth & parenting education to expectant parents in the comfort of their own home. Sessions are flexible, including everything that hospital based programs cover. Click to find out more!
gotcha
X

Pregnant for the first-time?

Not sure where to start? We can help!

Our Insider Programs for pregnancy first-timers will lead you step-by-step through the 14 Pregnancy Must Dos!