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  1. #631
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    Lisa - if you don't plan on telling your child about the donor, it might be worth a quick trip to your gp to have your blood types tested, then your gp would be able to tell you what blood type donors you could use without your child knowing. Google can be a bit confusing!
    I must admit I hadn't looked at our donors blood type as we intend to tell our child about the donor, but it turned out she has the same as me. Pure chance!

  2. #632
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    Hi Kay... Welcome aboard!! Last year my 10 year old daughter and I went to Cape Town on our own. My hubby stayed home, attended our hobby farm, worked and realised the impact if him not being able to fly as he suffers anxiety and claustrophobia. We felt totally safe. You can look down streets and think hmm, no thanks but you can do that anywhere in the world!! It is so beautiful over there and quite magical. We are looking forward to going again in March and yep, hubby will still be staying home again!

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    Kay2015  (11-01-2015)

  4. #633
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    Lisa I know you may not want to tell the child but everything medical revolves around genetics. In my work that is everything and you need to understand that finding out suddenly when they are older could be more difficult for everyone. Many medical and dental scenarios will require genetic histories. I think it's important that you understand the impact of not telling them as it's for the life of your child. You will need to ensure people know ahead of every appointment the lack of genetic history and ensure that noyhing is said. This is a very complicated scenario for all medical staff. Blood type is nothing. It's the genetics that you can't hide.

    A medical history is not the childs history. Parental history will always be asked. I think you need to think about this from a broader medical perspective or even speak to someone about the reality how you would manage this for the long term.

  5. #634
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    Lisa, Blood type was a slight hesitation of mine when we were choosing, as our donor is A- and we are both O+, but in the end I thought, I like everything else about her so decided, it won't matter. I was thinking medically if anything happened and he/she needed blood, A- is the rarer type, but combined with O+, they would end up being A+, O-, O+ and less so A-. So not too bad.

    Kay, another thing you can use as a selling point is the fantastic holiday your husband and you will have. Mine just LOVED the place and I haven't heard anyone yet that hasn't said what a fantastic time they had. For us it wasn't successful first time but we just thought oh well, what a time we had and will always have that great memory.

    Ladies, what do you think, we should all get some sort of commission for 'selling' Cape Town to everyone! We all love the place.

    Feb 2015 ladies, anyone going to be there between 22nd and 25th Feb?

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    Kay2015  (11-01-2015)

  7. #635
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    Hi all, can I ask if anyone tried seeking a donor here in Australia before going the overseas option, and if so, what your experiences were/how long you waited before giving up? Also how does this compare cost-wise?

  8. #636
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    Quote Originally Posted by Chillout71 View Post
    Hi all, can I ask if anyone tried seeking a donor here in Australia before going the overseas option, and if so, what your experiences were/how long you waited before giving up? Also how does this compare cost-wise?
    Chillout - we did explore this option first as the idea of going overseas for medical treatment seemed very daunting. The research I did showed that there were much higher costs involved with a donor cycle. A breakdown was something like the following:

    IVF cycle :$9200.00
    Donor management fee (clinic charge): $2000.00
    PHI for donor: $ 2500
    Donor expenses:$3000.00
    (This was to cover wages/time off work for appointments, extras like travel/parking, child care expense for her children (during appointments/EPU etc)
    Counselling sessions :$750
    And from memory a few other incidentals..

    I was also warned by my FS that while it is illegal for donors in Australia to be paid , that it was however a 'well accepted' fact that donors often received 'enticements' or 'extravagant gifts' such as overseas holidays and in one case he knew of a car being given!

    I also joined an Australian donor site and found some of the behaviour there from potential donors quite unsavoury. I firmly believe that many on those sites show strong markers for mental illness with their comments and behaviour.

    As a recipient I also didn't appreciate being told that it was them (donors) that choose us (recipients) and that we had no 'right' to ask about or expect to have criteria. (Physical, medical or otherwise). Some of their behaviour on forums were completely abhorrent and nasty.

    From a scientific perspective a lot of the donors available in Australia didn't meet the recommendations of my FS who suggested we look for someone with a good medical history, under 30 and non smoker. (All the Australian donors I saw were over 30 - some as old as 38) - when I mentioned this on the forum I got verbally abused for wanting to try and meet this criteria.

    I have also had and heard of offers that involved 'monetary gifts' ranging from $5000-20,000 for a cycle...

    Needless to say in the end we decided the SA option was safer and 'cleaner' without risk of unexpected expenses. We could also safely go with the criteria our FS recommended.

  9. The Following 4 Users Say Thank You to Blinky76 For This Useful Post:

    crabby  (11-01-2015),KMP  (10-01-2015),mardicharli  (10-01-2015),MGC Bertie  (10-01-2015)

  10. #637
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    Thanks Blinky for that!! Yes I also am put off the idea of selling yourself on a donor site but hadn't considered the costs would also be higher... Can I ask who your FS clinic was for those costs? Also which of the costs are independent of the clinics own costs?

  11. #638
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    Hi,

    Just popping in to say a HUUUGE congratulations to Sunflower and January on the birth of your precious little babies. I have followed your stories and I'm just thrilled to hear that your bubs are finally here.
    Sunflower - I know what you mean when you talked about the emptiness after having them. Before mine were born I really felt I was going to miss having them inside! Of course once they were here it was a completely different story and I am sure that once you got the chance to touch them it would change things for you. This is the most surreal and magical time - enjoy every moment of it. By the way, we have a Charlie too!
    January - I think we were in Cape Town at around the same time for your first attempt and my heart broke for you when it didn't work so I am so thrilled to hear your little bub has finally arrived. Thank you also for all your time in collating results. It really gives a sense of unity to all of us on this journey and it's wonderful to see the names move down the list to Graduates!

    A big congratulations to Mardicharli on your BFP. What a roller coaster ride you have had and what a wonderful way to start the new year with such good news. All the best for a smooth pregnancy.

    Kay - I used Sunshine and couldn't be happier with them. Very professional and always super efficient replying, weekends included.

    Araline - It was lovely to read your story. I think we might have been in Cape Town at the same time too. Our boys are 10 months old today and we still can't believe how blessed we are.

    May 2015 bring much joy to you all. It was the best decision of my life to go to Cape Town and I hope all your dreams come true

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    Araline  (10-01-2015),Kay2015  (11-01-2015),laned  (10-01-2015),mardicharli  (10-01-2015),Patsy73  (10-01-2015),Sunflower11  (12-01-2015)

  13. #639
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    Hi ladies not sure where my post disappeared to.....

    I would have to say that this experience in Cape Town has been anazing. Easy and hassle free to be honest. Dr Matabese is a gem and her nurse Jenny has a fabulous personality. No need to lose my privacy or compromise my desire for the healthiest child possible. I really didn't like being judged as worthy or unworthy by the donor forums in Australia, and of course I wanted a young healthy donor for the best outcome also. A cycle is very expensive in Australia. I want space to bring up my child honestly without the claustrophobia of everyone knowing your business. Raising a child will be complex enough without complicating it too much from the start. I thoroughly recommend this to anyone. I contacted Cape in October and here I sai PUPO beginning of January. I'm upset I wasted so many months and $ last year.

    AFM PUPO with one awesome blast. 2 more awesome blasts to freeze and two more to grow another day then freeze. Pinch me it's real! Fly out Monday back to Bali. Perfect place for implantation to occur. Best wishes everyone for your donor selections.

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    mardicharli  (10-01-2015),Patsy73  (11-01-2015),Sunflower11  (12-01-2015)

  15. #640
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    Quote Originally Posted by Chillout71 View Post
    Thanks Blinky for that!! Yes I also am put off the idea of selling yourself on a donor site but hadn't considered the costs would also be higher... Can I ask who your FS clinic was for those costs? Also which of the costs are independent of the clinics own costs?
    Chillout when exploring this option we were looking at a Brisbane clinic.
    The PHI for donor is obviously a separate cost. This is also subject to whether your donor already has PHI and if it is sufficient to cover fertility. If you choose not to do this you will then be up for all hospital admission costs for EPU.
    The donor expenses is also outside of the clinic fees and from my understanding can be quite variable. This would depend on whether you donor is working or not and also what each party considers 'equitable'. The figure quoted was what was suggested to my by a potential donor who worked. It would also depend what they do for a job (ie how much they get paid). I did hear of a story recently where a donor claimed to earn $300/day (6 days per week) for a home based business ....
    In this particular instance the counselling was also a separate cost but some clinics do have in-house counselling services available.

    We also looked at TWEB which had costs of $20,000 (or thereabouts) for the eggs from the USA which you then use in your own clinic here . You would then need to add your clinic charges on top of that! Hence why that option was ruled out very quickly. Our FS also described the eggs from there as rubbish. Apparently he had used them in the past but the quality had proved to be very poor.

  16. The Following User Says Thank You to Blinky76 For This Useful Post:

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