I have a DSD (8) and DSS (6) and have been in their lives for the last 3 years. DH is fantastic, helps around the house a massive amount and makes sure that I have plenty of time for myself.
Things have been great except that DSS on and off has periods where he hates me being around and is really quite horrible to me. DH and I have spoken about it and he has seen some of it but he mainly does it when DH isn't around. It's quite stressful and hurtful and makes it hard for me to bond with him. I have no probs at all with DSD and have tried all sorts of different approaches with DSS- one on one time with me/dad, doing different activities etc. apparently he treated his mums ex fiancé like this also and he had been around since DSS was 1 (they have since broken up a year ago).
The main problem is that we started ttc 2yrs ago but had put it off as we thought maybe DSS needed more time to adjust. We started IVF again in August but had an ectopic which I had surgery 3 weeks ago. The kids are completely unaware of this as we think they are too young and also don't want the kids telling mum what's happening as it's quite personal. But DSS has been really quite horrible for the last few months to the point where I am becoming so anxious about it all. I'm anxious that I'll feel differently towards my bio child and anxious how I will cope with learning to be a first time mum whilst having to do school runs, maintain a household, homework and after school activities... The list goes on!!! I've never been anxious before and don't quite know how to deal with these feelings
Forgot to say that we have 50/50 care and I am the stay at home parent in the week we have the kids as we don't want to use care and my job is flexible.
Any advice would be greatly appreciated.