+ Reply to Thread
Page 1 of 5 123 ... LastLast
Results 1 to 10 of 43
  1. #1
    Rutabaga's Avatar
    Rutabaga is offline Getting it together, one day at a time.
    Join Date
    Oct 2011
    Location
    Rural Darwin
    Posts
    810
    Thanks
    1,594
    Thanked
    295
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 posts

    Default Advice needed, completely lost. My DP has passed

    i used to regularly read along and participate in the ivf threads, but haven't been on much since my son was born last year. Now I'm reaching out because I'm lost and need advice/support.

    I apologize for the way this will read, I'm just going to write as thing occur to me, so it may be disjointed.

    My DP and I have been living together for 9 years now. Our we are owner builders with a partially completed home. The land is in both our names, and it's a joint mortgage but offset from his account. Otherwise our finances are completely separate. We have enough in the mortgage account put a roof on, which is supposed to be happening this week.

    We have a 17 month old DS together, and he has 2 teenage daughters. I'm close with them, and they adore their brother. He and his ex wife only recently signed their final divorce papers.

    DP had no will. He has life insurance and super, the girls are beneficiaries of one and I am for the other, but I can't remember which goes to whom. This morning his ex asked if had a will, and warned me that she didn't think it would go as smoothly as I thought it would. This has made me quite paranoid/worried as, although we have come together well during his death, there was quite a difficult history between them. I don't think it will be smooth or easy, by the way. But Ii had hoped settling his estate wouldn't be made more difficult than necessary.

    We're off to the funeral home in Alice this morning, to start the ball rolling on getting his body released and ready for transport to Darwin. I'm not doing as well as I thought I would be today, so I'll leave this for now and come back later. Please comment with any advice, or ideas. I'm completely lost.

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Jul 2008
    Posts
    21,645
    Thanks
    15,089
    Thanked
    11,254
    Reviews
    14
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 postsAmethyst Star - 5,000 postsEmerald Star - 10,000 postsRuby Star - 15,000 postsDiamond Star - 20,000 posts
    Awards:
    Busiest Member of the WeekBusiest Member of the Week - week ended 5/2/14Busiest Member of the Week - week ended 31/10/14Busiest Member of the Week - week ended 24/10/14Busiest Member of the Week
    Hugs. I don't have any advice but I wanted to send you lots of love and support. I am sorry sorry for your loss.

  3. The Following User Says Thank You to LoveLivesHere For This Useful Post:

    Rutabaga  (03-11-2014)

  4. #3
    Join Date
    Jul 2011
    Posts
    7,668
    Thanks
    5,719
    Thanked
    3,068
    Reviews
    25
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 postsAmethyst Star - 5,000 posts
    Awards:
    100 Posts in a week
    No advice, but just wanted to say I am so sorry for your loss

    I live in Darwin so if there is anything you ever need please pm me xox

  5. The Following User Says Thank You to Purple Lily For This Useful Post:

    Rutabaga  (03-11-2014)

  6. #4
    Join Date
    Jan 2012
    Location
    Perth, Western Australia
    Posts
    1,914
    Thanks
    364
    Thanked
    1,502
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 posts
    I am SO sorry for your loss and can't even begin to comprehend what you must be going through.

    http://www.nt.gov.au/justice/pubtrus...tates.shtml#q4

    This website is a useful starting point, although it doesn't delve in to the "rules" as such, they are contained within the Administration and Probate Act (link at the bottom of the page).

    It is best to speak to a lawyer specialising in this field or legal aid, as it probably won't be a straight forward matter to deal with. But I wish you all the best and hope that everyone is taken care of appropriately x

  7. The Following User Says Thank You to GM01 For This Useful Post:

    Rutabaga  (03-11-2014)

  8. #5
    tazz475's Avatar
    tazz475 is offline Holy banjo, check out boob mountain!
    Join Date
    May 2014
    Location
    Adelaide
    Posts
    2,318
    Thanks
    717
    Thanked
    1,391
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 posts
    Awards:
    100 Posts in a week
    I'm so sorry for your loss. It may be worth looking into contacting a lawyer in the future if things do become rocky.

    Please take care of yourself. x

  9. The Following User Says Thank You to tazz475 For This Useful Post:

    Rutabaga  (03-11-2014)

  10. #6
    Join Date
    Apr 2012
    Posts
    12,707
    Thanks
    9,557
    Thanked
    12,689
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 postsAmethyst Star - 5,000 postsEmerald Star - 10,000 posts
    Awards:
    Busiest Member of the Week - week ended 9/1/15Busiest Member of the Week - week ended 7/11/14Busiest Member of the Week - week ended 3/10/14100 Posts in a week
    Oh Hun, I am so sorry for your loss. Totally gutted for you

    Take things one step at a time.

    Gather all the paperwork you can regarding your hubby's life insurance/super etc. Then when you are ready have a look at them. Perhaps the papers will specify where the money is allocated. If not there will be customer support numbers you can call to get the answers. The staff will be trained to be compassionate with people who are grieving.

    Under the life insurance or super ask the staff if there is an ability for emergency release if funds to pay for a funeral.

    If things start getting a bit narky regarding who gets what you do not need to deal with that. Is there a trusted friend or relative of your hubby? Someone respected by all parties? That could act like an unofficial executor of tour hubby's things/could help mediate any questions? If so deflect all questions to them in the early days. You should be focusing on yourself and your bubba.

    So sorry for you. Please vent here if needed xxx

  11. The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to VicPark For This Useful Post:

    Rutabaga  (03-11-2014),SuperGranny  (03-11-2014)

  12. #7
    Join Date
    Aug 2009
    Posts
    589
    Thanks
    464
    Thanked
    214
    Reviews
    1
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 posts
    I'm so sorry for your loss...such a horrible time and then you have the ex-wife to deal with too.

    If your husband passed away without a will, then there is normally a set way that his estate assets will be disbursed. If varies state to state.

    Assets like his super and any life insurance, depend on whether he put a beneficiary nomination on the policies, and hopefully they are binding nominations. If he has made a beneficiary nomination on these policies then they should not form part of his estate assets and will go to the person he has nominated on the policies. If there is no nomination then they form part of his estate assets.

    With property it depends in whether it is joint tenants or tenants in common. If your property is joint tenants, then upon your husband passing away his ownership passes on to you, but with tenants in common, his share of property will form part of his estate assets.
    Last edited by Night Owl; 03-11-2014 at 09:51.

  13. The Following User Says Thank You to Night Owl For This Useful Post:

    Rutabaga  (03-11-2014)

  14. #8
    Join Date
    Jan 2009
    Posts
    825
    Thanks
    126
    Thanked
    154
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 posts
    So sorry for your devastating lost. I can't imagine the heartbreak you must be feeling then this added worry to deal with is just awful.

    Don't quote me on this as I am not a lawyer or anything like that as I understand it if his will is not up to date and doesn't have you listed as a beneficiary then you can challenge it via the courts. If the will doesn't exist then the courts will decide who gets the money.

    I know it will be impossibly hard but you need to get a lawyer involved sooner rather than later.

  15. The Following User Says Thank You to baby4us For This Useful Post:

    Rutabaga  (03-11-2014)

  16. #9
    Join Date
    Jul 2013
    Posts
    4,036
    Thanks
    3,326
    Thanked
    1,923
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 posts
    Awards:
    200 Posts in a weekBusiest Member of the Week100 Posts in a week
    No advice I just wanted to say how very sorry I am for your loss. Xxx

  17. The Following User Says Thank You to HeavenBlue For This Useful Post:

    Rutabaga  (03-11-2014)

  18. #10
    BH-KatiesMum's Avatar
    BH-KatiesMum is offline Community Manager
    Winner 2008 - The most optimistic poster
    Winner 2014 - Most Helpful Moderator
    Join Date
    Oct 2007
    Location
    Perth WA
    Posts
    22,393
    Thanks
    5,359
    Thanked
    5,806
    Reviews
    3
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 postsAmethyst Star - 5,000 postsEmerald Star - 10,000 postsRuby Star - 15,000 postsDiamond Star - 20,000 posts
    Awards:
    Past Moderator
    200 Posts in a week100 Posts in a week
    I am so sorry for you loss


    If he has passed away without a will, then his children will be his beneficiaries - there is a set way his estate will be disbursed which will usually be administered by the public trustee from your state.

    (my ex-bil passed away last year without a will ... my nephews were his only children even though my sister and him had been seperated for many years which did make it simpler - and they were older than 18 so could apply to be the administrators of the estate themselves).

    Anyway - it does get complicated - especially when there is more than one family involved.

  19. The Following User Says Thank You to BH-KatiesMum For This Useful Post:

    Rutabaga  (03-11-2014)


 

Similar Threads

  1. Advice needed please
    By Baby prayers in forum IVF
    Replies: 8
    Last Post: 29-12-2013, 20:21
  2. im lost and i need advice
    By princessblueeyes in forum First Trimester Chat
    Replies: 13
    Last Post: 03-12-2013, 16:51

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
free weekly newsletters | sign up now!
who are these people who write great posts? meet our hubbub authors!
Learn how you can contribute to the hubbub!

reviews
learn how you can become a reviewer!

competitions

forum - chatting now
christmas gift guidesee all Red Stocking
Springfree Trampoline
Give the Ultimate Christmas Gift Springfree Trampoline
The World's Safest Trampoline™ is now also the world's first Smart Trampoline™. Sensors on the mat detect your every move and your jumps control fun, educational and active games on tablet. Secure the Ultimate Christmas Gift today!
sales & new stuffsee all
Wendys Music School Melbourne
Wondering about Music Lessons? FREE 30 minute ASSESSMENT. Find out if your child is ready! Piano from age 3 years & Guitar, Singing, Drums, Violin from age 5. Lessons available for all ages. 35+ years experience. Structured program.
Use referral 'bubhub' when booking
featured supporter
ProSwim
ProSwim Rostrevor runs learn to swim classes for children and adults. Lessons are run during the Summer months (Oct-Mar). Our indoor centre at Plympton Park has lessons all year round, including school holidays.
gotcha
X

Pregnant for the first-time?

Not sure where to start? We can help!

Our Insider Programs for pregnancy first-timers will lead you step-by-step through the 14 Pregnancy Must Dos!