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  1. #51
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    Quote Originally Posted by KyzaV View Post
    ...I agree with you, however I am talking about the centrelink forms. There is NO reason not to get payments from the government to help her family out!
    He has talked to her, he says he has mentioned either a) getting a job OR b) going on centrelink.
    I agree there's no excuse for not accepting Government help if it is available. I didn't get the impression that the OP had actually done any research on this front (regarding specific entitlements or getting forms etc). Apologies if this is not the case. If it is the case the OP might have more luck if he pinpoints specifically what assistance they are entitled to, including a $ figure, get the forms and sit down with the OP helping her fill them out. Navigating the centrelink red tape is not easy and can take hours and hours on the phone farting around. Someone with PND may be daunted by this prospect.

    If there is specific $ help the GF knows they are entitled to and she refuses to sign forms for that, then the OP has a big decision to make.

  2. #52
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    Quote Originally Posted by Cue View Post
    it sounds to me like she's just not willing to face her financial responsibilities.
    ...Or she's arking up because of the way in which the OP is pushing it? If I was the gf I would have dropped a few f bombs by now

  3. #53
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    Quote Originally Posted by redlipsandpearls View Post
    He hasn't made any comments about her parenting ability! He's talking about her lack of housework, cooking and desire to relieve the financial stress.
    .
    No he didn't. In fact I get the feeling that he probably would agree that she's a great parent (because he has a thriving and content baby). He DID say that his partner doesn't contribute enough. If she is doing a great job being the primary carer of his child I think it's a terrible thing to suggest she doesn't contribute.
    I don't think that's all she needs to do, especially if her family is in real financial trouble but I think the OP not being able to see things from her POV (and probably vise versa) is a major problem here. Both partners have to respect the others contribution for the relationship to thrive. This is in all relationships but it can be particularly difficult in SAHM/working dad families.

    I strongly disagree with you about the other thing.... But that's ok. X

  4. #54
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    Zombie_eyes is offline Formerly Diamondeyes
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    This is just a classic "im perfect and here is every negative thing i can think of regarding my partner, everyone please validate me so i can use this thread of shame to make her feel totally and utterly worthless, and to make me feel ok about leaving"

    The first 12 months of having a child is the HARDEST. The relationship dynamic changes, financial stress magnifies, and mental illness can rear its ugly head.

    Cut the woman some slack ffs
    Last edited by Zombie_eyes; 02-11-2014 at 09:22.

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  6. #55
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    I just don't think we know enough to assume he didn't ask nicely or is controlling or forcing her to do stuff against her will. He is on this forum for advice (and probably a bit of a vent) so he was probably a bit frustrated with the situation. That's how I've interpreted it anyway

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    And I also agree @VicPark that the centrelink applications can be onerous and he might need to help her fill them in or suggests she does one page per day or something. If I worked full time and had to do that too though it'd be understandably frustrating.

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  10. #57
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    Quote Originally Posted by Zombie_eyes View Post
    This is just a classic "im perfect and here is every negative thing i can think of regarding my partner, everyone please validate me so i can use this thread of shame to make my her feel totally and utterly worthless, and to make me feel ok about leaving"

    The first 12 months of having a child is the HARDEST. The relationship dynamic changes, financial stress magnifies, and mental ill can rear its ugly head.

    Cut the woman some slack ffs
    Agreed! This pancake has been presented way too flat and that is what has me sus.
    Last edited by VicPark; 02-11-2014 at 08:49.

  11. #58
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    If it was a mother complaining about a father would you all expect every single detail? Tell her there's something sus and say he shouldn't have to go to work? Maybe they want to bond with the baby too

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    "My boyfriend poked holes in the condoms we use so that we would get pregnant. I asked him and he admitted to it. Ever since I got pregnant he quit work. We're really struggling financially and I'm the main breadwinner. I've asked him to get a job or apply for centerlink and he just won't. He had depression but was seeing someone for it and was okay after a few months. I come home from work and cook and clean. My father watches the baby for 2 days a week so he can get out and do his own thing but right now we're struggling to even put food on the table. I'm thinking of leaving him but I'm worried I won't get to see my child anymore which is why I've stayed. What should I do!?"

    And que everyone telling her her husband is a lazy basted and she should leave him.

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  15. #60
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    Quote Originally Posted by Jennaisme View Post
    "My boyfriend poked holes in the condoms we use so that we would get pregnant. I asked him and he admitted to it. Ever since I got pregnant he quit work. We're really struggling financially and I'm the main breadwinner. I've asked him to get a job or apply for centerlink and he just won't. He had depression but was seeing someone for it and was okay after a few months. I come home from work and cook and clean. My father watches the baby for 2 days a week so he can get out and do his own thing but right now we're struggling to even put food on the table. I'm thinking of leaving him but I'm worried I won't get to see my child anymore which is why I've stayed. What should I do!?"

    And que everyone telling her her husband is a lazy basted and she should leave him.
    Yep!
    It seems that only the women have a right to get frustrated on bh

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