I was on my lunch break at work yesterday browsing scary mommy confessions (like bubhub but with an anonymous confessional). I saw a confession about a woman's husband being on a website called Ashley Madison. I was curious about what it was so did a little research and found out that it was a dating site for people in relationships who want to have affairs. I was curious as to what kind of people would use this kind of a website so I made a quick fake profile and was scrolling through the profiles in SA. I did let DP know that I had set up a fake account and he was okay with it.
The people who live in the rental property on the same land as my work know my sister and my Dad. The girl who lives in the house used to be my sisters best friend (let's call her J) for about 7 or 8 years and was like a sister to me also for quite sometime (my Mum had practically adopted her into our family when we were little). Over the years J and my sister lost touch, they still catch up occasionally but aren't all that close anymore and so I don't really see J anymore apart from exchanging pleasantries when she comes into my work to pay rent.
J lives in the house with her boyfriend (let's call him R) and another housemate. Now over the past year or so I have seen a girl rock up to the house when J is at work and R is home by himself. J and R have broken up before because of this girl but R assures her that nothing is going on between them and that they are just 'friends'. J and R get back together and so far this girl has stopped coming to their house from what I have seen.
Back to this Ashley Madison website... As I'm scrolling through I see R's face and am not all surprised. His profile goes on to list his name, height, weight etc. and talks about how he is an attached male looking for some fun on the side. His profile picture is quite recent and he talks about disgusting things that he is looking for in a short term fling.
I'm not sure if I should have done it and I don't know if it was really my place but I was so mad at R. I printed his profile out from the internet and slipped it into and envelope addressed to J with a note attached that said that I was sorry but I thought that she should know. Now I'm feeling kind of guilty because I'm not sure if I should have said anything as we are not that close anymore but once upon a time she was like my sister and I feel like she deserves better. Looking back I probably should have told her in person, but as I said we are not that close anymore it would have been a lot more awkward and hard to slip into the conversation.
I know I probably should have stayed out of it and am not feeling a little guilty as I am not sure if it was my place, but I have always known deep down that he was a slimy creep.
Would you have let her know or did I do the wrong thing?