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  1. #61
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    Am I the only one here that thinks it's drastic to leave a marriage before even talking to your husband about his behaviour?

    What he has said to you OP is absolutely awful- no doubt about it. Prior to kids, did you do all the household chores? Did his Mum do everything for him in the past?

    The stay at home parent sometimes needs to talk to the 'bread winner' about what life entails looking after a little one all day as well as maintaining a household.

    Even before I had kids I thought when I was on maternity leave that it was all about lattes and play dates- how wrong I was.

    I can just think of a situation once when I only had the one baby, and my husband had to look after her for the whole day whilst I was in hospital.
    He said to me, I love her so much but that was hard work!

    I obviously don't know your situation at all but just trying to throw out another perspective.

    Good luck OP with whatever you decide xx

  2. #62
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    Quote Originally Posted by PinkPink View Post
    Am I the only one here that thinks it's drastic to leave a marriage before even talking to your husband about his behaviour?

    What he has said to you OP is absolutely awful- no doubt about it. Prior to kids, did you do all the household chores? Did his Mum do everything for him in the past?

    The stay at home parent sometimes needs to talk to the 'bread winner' about what life entails looking after a little one all day as well as maintaining a household.

    Even before I had kids I thought when I was on maternity leave that it was all about lattes and play dates- how wrong I was.

    I can just think of a situation once when I only had the one baby, and my husband had to look after her for the whole day whilst I was in hospital.
    He said to me, I love her so much but that was hard work!

    I obviously don't know your situation at all but just trying to throw out another perspective.

    Good luck OP with whatever you decide xx
    For me alarm bells are ringing that she doesn't feel safe to say "this is it I'm leaving now" and pack up her stuff. You should never be afraid to leave.

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    ThenThereWereThree  (04-11-2014)

  4. #63
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    How did the party go Op?
    To answer your question, absolutely no way would I stay with someone who treated me like that. The way he spoke to you is atrocious.
    I'd be gone in a flash.

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    Albert01  (04-11-2014)

  6. #64
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    Regardless of why he is saying it the things he has said they are rude, nasty and inappropriate. Hun, you dont deserve to be spoken to like that.
    I agree that he certainly sounds unhappy, and it sounds like work might be one of the issues.
    If you feel safe (maybe do it with people around if you think his aggression will increase) I would offer the opportunity for him to get counselling and sort it out. It will be your decision if you and DD stay in the house or elsewhere during that process.
    Good luck hun x

    Sent from my GT-I9507 using The Bub Hub mobile app

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    ThenThereWereThree  (04-11-2014)

  8. #65
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    Oh OP, that's terrible. That is a terrible way to treat your wife and mother of your children. There is no excuse for his behaviour and comments they are way below the belt.

    I have been in an absuive relationship before and this type of behaviour only gets worse the more they think you are willing to put up with it. Don't put up with it. You deserve so much better.


    I really hope you build up the courage to leave and set a good example for your daughter. Trust me you do not want her growing up thinking this is the 'normal' dynamic of a marriage.

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  10. #66
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    Quote Originally Posted by PinkPink View Post
    Am I the only one here that thinks it's drastic to leave a marriage before even talking to your husband about his behaviour?

    What he has said to you OP is absolutely awful- no doubt about it. Prior to kids, did you do all the household chores? Did his Mum do everything for him in the past?

    The stay at home parent sometimes needs to talk to the 'bread winner' about what life entails looking after a little one all day as well as maintaining a household.

    Even before I had kids I thought when I was on maternity leave that it was all about lattes and play dates- how wrong I was.

    I can just think of a situation once when I only had the one baby, and my husband had to look after her for the whole day whilst I was in hospital.
    He said to me, I love her so much but that was hard work!

    I obviously don't know your situation at all but just trying to throw out another perspective.

    Good luck OP with whatever you decide xx
    I'm pretty sure the OP said she's already tried speaking to him. If he's anything like my exH (which they sound identical!), any conversation regarding his behaviour would be met with aggressive justification about why his behaviour is necessary.
    ie. "if the OP wasn't such a lazy bi@tch that sat around on her a$$ all day, then he wouldn't have to come home and tell her to get her act together and do more housework".
    That's what I used to cop anyway.
    Last edited by CMF; 04-11-2014 at 20:04.

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    dancingchipmunk  (04-11-2014)

  12. #67
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    Quote Originally Posted by CMF View Post
    I'm pretty sure the OP said she's already tried speaking to him. If he's anything like my exH (which they sound identical!), any conversation regarding his behaviour would be met with aggressive justification about why his behaviour is necessary.
    ie. "if the OP wasn't such a lazy bi@tch that sat around on her a$$ all day, then he wouldn't have to come home and tell her to get her act together and do more housework".
    That's what I used to cop anyway.
    sounds like my ex hubby too, yep nothing he did was wrong it was all me

  13. #68
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    @BubblesK how is everything going?

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    KaraB  (10-11-2014)

  15. #69
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    @CazHazKidz thanks for checking in.
    The situation is normal at the moment.
    Its not like our household is awful all the time, I am just sick of his outbursts and his lack of insight.
    Its almost like because he hates his job, everyone else must suffer.
    Anyway, I will be waiting around until we get into another 'discussion' about it and then if he continues being a jerk I will leave him to it for a while.
    He has been oddly calm and attentive over the weekend.
    I had been discussing the situation with my brother last week and he had wanted to talk to DH about it but I told him it wouldn't help the situation. I know my brother called him on Friday but I don't know what was discussed. Im waiting to hear back from my brother, hopefully he didn't open his fat mouth.

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    KaraB  (10-11-2014)

  17. #70
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    Hell no! I'd be packing his bag- and kicking him to the curb!

    P.S. Yes, I do have my "rags" and yes, I am ****ed off! I don't see you having a damn smile on your face when your in pain!

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    KaraB  (10-11-2014),SpecialK  (11-11-2014)


 

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