Am I the only one here that thinks it's drastic to leave a marriage before even talking to your husband about his behaviour?
What he has said to you OP is absolutely awful- no doubt about it. Prior to kids, did you do all the household chores? Did his Mum do everything for him in the past?
The stay at home parent sometimes needs to talk to the 'bread winner' about what life entails looking after a little one all day as well as maintaining a household.
Even before I had kids I thought when I was on maternity leave that it was all about lattes and play dates- how wrong I was.
I can just think of a situation once when I only had the one baby, and my husband had to look after her for the whole day whilst I was in hospital.
He said to me, I love her so much but that was hard work!
I obviously don't know your situation at all but just trying to throw out another perspective.
Good luck OP with whatever you decide xx