Seriously, leave. After party if you want
He won't change, that's for sure; also, I see he is putting you down so the thought of leaving him or wanting better from life will never occur to you, as he is the best thing that happened to your worthless self (not my opinion, just wording his).
I am currently SAHM, and my husband has very traditional ways of seeing marriage, wife and husband roles etc.. even if he still does a lot (if he can, cause he's out a lot).
But stil... never once asked me something like that, if he did, it was out of curiosity how my day was. Doesn't mind if I spend most of my day relaxing, or reading, or whatever; if I am in no mood to cook . He irons his clothes if he wants them to be ironed, he even takes some of his clothes to dry cleaners so I have less to wash. He says that caring for kids is a really big job and not necessarily letting you do things that have to be done at home.
Not writing it to brag, but to give you perspective how a caring husband should see you and behave
Can I ask, is this newish behaviour? Did it start after your DD was born or close too? Because if it is, do you think he feels trapped in his job as the breadwinner in a job he hates? That work makes him so unreasonable and angry and views you as a having the 'good' job?
Of course he shouldn't be speaking to her like that. I didn't say he that he should be. I was simply asking if it's old or new behaviour. He could have PND or just depression in general which could explain in part why he is acting the way he is. I'm not condoning his behaviour in any way and even with depression he can manage to not treat the OP in the manner that he is. I would be asking these questions as to decide if it's all worth fighting for. Im allowed to show some empathy (for both sides) without people jumping all over my comment.
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