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  1. #51
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    Quote Originally Posted by CMF View Post
    Leaving immediately after the party so he can clean up is a silly and unrealistic idea.

    OP wants to leave in a safe, easy (as possible) and non-inflammatory manner. Provoking an already angry and emotionally abusive person is... just stupid, really.
    I know I thought about writing that comment! Try to ease the stress of the op and maybe get a giggle out of her!

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  3. #52
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    Seriously, leave. After party if you want
    He won't change, that's for sure; also, I see he is putting you down so the thought of leaving him or wanting better from life will never occur to you, as he is the best thing that happened to your worthless self (not my opinion, just wording his).
    I am currently SAHM, and my husband has very traditional ways of seeing marriage, wife and husband roles etc.. even if he still does a lot (if he can, cause he's out a lot).
    But stil... never once asked me something like that, if he did, it was out of curiosity how my day was. Doesn't mind if I spend most of my day relaxing, or reading, or whatever; if I am in no mood to cook . He irons his clothes if he wants them to be ironed, he even takes some of his clothes to dry cleaners so I have less to wash. He says that caring for kids is a really big job and not necessarily letting you do things that have to be done at home.
    Not writing it to brag, but to give you perspective how a caring husband should see you and behave

  4. #53
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    Quote Originally Posted by CMF View Post
    Leaving immediately after the party so he can clean up is a silly and unrealistic idea.

    OP wants to leave in a safe, easy (as possible) and non-inflammatory manner. Provoking an already angry and emotionally abusive person is... just stupid, really.
    As a previous poster said it was tongue in cheek. But thanks for calling me stupid.

  5. #54
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    Quote Originally Posted by Wise Enough View Post
    As a previous poster said it was tongue in cheek. But thanks for calling me stupid.
    Where did I call you stupid?

  6. #55
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    Quote Originally Posted by CMF View Post
    Where did I call you stupid?

    You said what I said was silly and stupid, but let's not get side tracked.

    Was the party today OP? How did it go? Did DD have a lovely time?

  7. #56
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    Quote Originally Posted by Wise Enough View Post
    You said what I said was silly and stupid, but let's not get side tracked.

    Was the party today OP? How did it go? Did DD have a lovely time?
    Thanks for thinking of me but its tomorrow. Now I'm having a mini freak out that I haven't got enough food!!

  8. #57
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    Can I ask, is this newish behaviour? Did it start after your DD was born or close too? Because if it is, do you think he feels trapped in his job as the breadwinner in a job he hates? That work makes him so unreasonable and angry and views you as a having the 'good' job?

  9. #58
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    Quote Originally Posted by crankyoldcow View Post
    My exdh was emotionally abusive. Having children is a common time for escalation of this type of behaviour, but is not the root cause.
    ^^^^ this. It would happen less than once or twice a year before DD was born but now it's more frequently.

  10. #59
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    Quote Originally Posted by Aquillah View Post
    Can I ask, is this newish behaviour? Did it start after your DD was born or close too? Because if it is, do you think he feels trapped in his job as the breadwinner in a job he hates? That work makes him so unreasonable and angry and views you as a having the 'good' job?
    Even if this was the case he should just talk up her about it and not be a complete *** about it

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  12. #60
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    Of course he shouldn't be speaking to her like that. I didn't say he that he should be. I was simply asking if it's old or new behaviour. He could have PND or just depression in general which could explain in part why he is acting the way he is. I'm not condoning his behaviour in any way and even with depression he can manage to not treat the OP in the manner that he is. I would be asking these questions as to decide if it's all worth fighting for. Im allowed to show some empathy (for both sides) without people jumping all over my comment.


 

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