+ Reply to Thread
Page 1 of 3 123 LastLast
Results 1 to 10 of 26
  1. #1
    Join Date
    May 2010
    Location
    Ipswich
    Posts
    59
    Thanks
    13
    Thanked
    8
    Reviews
    0

    Default Schools

    I informed my ex that at the end of the year we will be moving and the children will be changing schools. He didnt like this and threatened to get full custody of them and that I am not allowed to change there schools.
    We are only moving not even 15 ks away from him so its not a distance issue. Our son has bad anxiety but the school I have looked into has alot more to offer then the school they go to now. My exes new wife is vice-president of the schools p&c that the children attend but has no children at the school yet.
    Does anyone know if the courts can stop us from changing schools.

    Sent from my GT-I9505 using The Bub Hub mobile app

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Aug 2014
    Posts
    439
    Thanks
    108
    Thanked
    230
    Reviews
    0
    Yes if he takes it to court they would most likely rule that the school needs to be agreed upon by both parents and if one wishes to change it, it must be agreed in writing by the other. It's called joint parental responsibility and if you already have court orders, it would probably be already written into it.

    If your son has anxiety would it not be more unsettling for him and make him more anxious to start somewhere new where he knows no one?

  3. #3
    Join Date
    May 2010
    Location
    Ipswich
    Posts
    59
    Thanks
    13
    Thanked
    8
    Reviews
    0
    We dont have court orders and the only thing we need to make a decision on is where they will go to high school.
    Yes he probably will become anxious but the school they are at now doesnt offer anything as in the way of sports or clubs etc and the school ive looked into has a great rep and lots of things for the kids as well. Ive also decided that im taking the 1st 2 weeks back to school off work so that I can help him settle in. My ex never even asked what school it is or anything about it he just straight out no end of story. He doesnt listen to me about any big decisions and what he wants he gets.
    He starts high school in 2 years time and once hes tried and realised its ok hes ok with things. Hes had a few friends leave the school hes at in the last year

    Sent from my GT-I9505 using The Bub Hub mobile app
    Last edited by overcrowded; 29-10-2014 at 14:42.

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Jan 2012
    Posts
    1,869
    Thanks
    879
    Thanked
    1,201
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 posts
    Maybe take a step down approach and say 'yep sorry. You're right. I should have asked. I guess I was just excited for ds. This other school has [insert sport/club that your ex would be impressed by] ..... I think ds would like it. Would you please consider it? I can send you some info.' Better than being dragged into court where a magistrate is not going to be impressed that you didn't think of asking before you decided to move.
    If your ex did the same thing to you would you be annoyed?

  5. The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to BbBbBh For This Useful Post:

    BH-KatiesMum  (29-10-2014),VicPark  (30-10-2014)

  6. #5
    Join Date
    May 2010
    Location
    Ipswich
    Posts
    59
    Thanks
    13
    Thanked
    8
    Reviews
    0
    Its not the move hes opposing its the changing of schools and yes I did tell him so we could discuss it but he was no and thats that. He wouldnt discuss anything except to tell me it wasnt happening. It happened last year too. I asked to talk about sending them to another school and he wouldnt even consider let alone discuss it with me. It was straight away no, even when I offered him the info to look at and told him some of the pros about the school.
    Im not going to have him dictate what happens with our family and we want to live closer to family for support.

    Sent from my GT-I9505 using The Bub Hub mobile app

  7. #6
    Join Date
    Jan 2012
    Posts
    1,869
    Thanks
    879
    Thanked
    1,201
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 posts
    Ummm, it's his child too right? So I guess he does get a say about his child staying at the school where he has been. Of course your ex won't oppose a move as it's only 15km and won't change anything for him. The words you are using 'I did tell him so we could discuss it' and 'i'm not going to have him dictate what happens with our family' kind of sound like you didn't consider your ex's thoughts on school before you made the decision to move. When you share responsibility for a child/ren then everything has to be negotiated beforehand.

  8. The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to BbBbBh For This Useful Post:

    atomicmama  (29-10-2014),VicPark  (30-10-2014)

  9. #7
    Join Date
    May 2010
    Location
    Ipswich
    Posts
    59
    Thanks
    13
    Thanked
    8
    Reviews
    0
    Yes I considered him but im trying to do whats best for my children all of them. My ex doesnt include me in half his decisions just makes them and tells me about them later. The fact is he wont even discuss it because it wasnt his idea. If we could sit down and he could listen to my reasonings but he wont even entertain the idea.
    All I wanted to know was could a court stop me from changing schools. I didnt come here to be bashed about my ex. None of you know my ex or our circumstances.

    Sent from my GT-I9505 using The Bub Hub mobile app

  10. #8
    Join Date
    May 2010
    Location
    Ipswich
    Posts
    59
    Thanks
    13
    Thanked
    8
    Reviews
    0
    Thank you crankyoldcow. Ive rung legal aid and a solicitor is suppose to be contacting me friday. If they cant help me then the next step is to contact an independent solictor and go from there and yes thats what legal aid have said that wed have to go through mediation. I just dont feel he wants to listen to me even when weve done mediation in the past hes got set ideas and he wont compromise on anything.

    Sent from my GT-I9505 using The Bub Hub mobile app

  11. #9
    Join Date
    Jan 2012
    Posts
    1,869
    Thanks
    879
    Thanked
    1,201
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 posts
    I'm sorry if you felt that I was taking the side of your ex. I was trying to point out the importance of including the father in your parenting decisions before you put things in motion to make changes. It sounds like you feel it best that ALL your children go to the same school and that you want your child to have a healthy schooling life. Is your ex onboard with helping your son manage his anxiety? If so, and if you have sought assistance from a therapist for your son, it may be a good idea to get their perspective about the change of schools and include your ex in this discussion. A court could stop you changing schools or they could fully support you. If your son's reports are not positive due to his anxiety then maybe use this to try to garner support from your ex (ie that hopefully a new schooling environment will see him flourish). If he isn't onboard with getting assistance for your son then this may not make him look good. I would be going the mediation route and ensure that his agreement in changing schools is signed off on. You won't be able to change his ideas, values or beliefs but you can learn how to manage him better and give up the idea that he will change. It's exhausting having to deal with these type of people.

  12. #10
    Join Date
    May 2010
    Location
    Ipswich
    Posts
    59
    Thanks
    13
    Thanked
    8
    Reviews
    0
    Hes on board with dealing with sons anxiety but I dont feel like our sons psychologist will be much help in trying to get my ex to see how this could all benefit our children. Im going to try get in to see her but im not holding my breathe as when our so was seeing her I never felt like she listened to me and only really spoke to my ex and his wife.

    Sent from my GT-I9505 using The Bub Hub mobile app


 

Similar Threads

  1. Good schools
    By Jensha in forum General Chat
    Replies: 3
    Last Post: 26-08-2014, 21:19
  2. Best schools on GC
    By Lollipopsmum in forum Preschools and Schools
    Replies: 31
    Last Post: 29-05-2014, 22:09

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
free weekly newsletters | sign up now!
who are these people who write great posts? meet our hubbub authors!
Learn how you can contribute to the hubbub!

reviews
learn how you can become a reviewer!

competitions

forum - chatting now
christmas gift guidesee all Red Stocking
Einsteinz Music
Make music at Einsteinz Music in age-appropriate class in Sydney's Inner West, Eastern Suburbs or North Shore. For ages 6 mths - 4 yrs. All music is live! Christmas Gift certificates available for full term or casual classes. Call 0431 338 143
sales & new stuffsee all
True Fairies
True Fairies is the first interactive website where children can engage and speak with a real fairy through the unique webcam fairy portal. Each session is tailored to the child, and is filled with enchantment and magic.
Visit website to find out more!
featured supporter
Baby Car Seats and Infant Car Restraints
Buying a baby car seat? Check out our 'go-to' links here!
gotcha
X

Pregnant for the first-time?

Not sure where to start? We can help!

Our Insider Programs for pregnancy first-timers will lead you step-by-step through the 14 Pregnancy Must Dos!