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  1. #1
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    Default Bullying at child care - help

    Need advice. My 3yr old son attends child care 5 days per week, has so since 9months old. Approximately 5 months ago he began saying "****" hurts me. I thought nothing of it. About 2 months later I noticed he still mentioned it so I explored it further. I asked him who is friends were at school and he couldn't say anyone. He then said "not **** she hurts me and pushes me". I began to ask more and he got upset when talkingn about her so I dropped it.

    Next day I met with the centre supervisor and asked her if she had seen anything. She said she has never seen anything but will keep an eye out and ask his teacher. Next afternoon I picked him up and I asked the teacher and she also said she has not seen anything but would keep an eye out. She then said oh but there was an incident with her today. My son had a pillow he was sitting on and she went up to him and pushed him off it. She was made to say sorry. I asked how often this kid attends n they said one day a week. I then asked my son about the kid and hey observed his response of getting upset and saying she hurts him. The teacher said she will watch. I said I am amazed that such an insignificant girl (1 day a week) has had such a significant impact on him. The trainee Ghent heard my words n asked if I was talking about this particular girl. I said yes. She said oh yes she does it all the time to my son. If he has a puzzle she will come up and push him and take it and hits him and stuff.
    I requested a meeting with supervisor next day. She told me this isn't bullyinf it is age appropriate behaviour. I told her at 3 going on 4 this isn't appropriate n my son doesn't do it to others etc.
    Anyway I requested a copy of all of his incident reports as he has a lot to see how many coincidently occurred on a Thursday. The centre has refused to provide me with a copy of these incident reports or to let me see them??? last Thursday another incident where supervision didn't seem to be happening and my son was crying and he had to be asked what happened. He said this girl pushed him. At home I asked him what happened n he said e was tickling another little girl n this one came up and pushed him.


    Please I'm desperate for advice! My son appears to be losing confidence and cries at almost the drop of her name.

    Am I allowed to have a copy of the incident reports?

    Any links to legislation on this would be appreciated.

  2. #2
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    You need to change centres. It's one thing to have a mean girl in the class. But clearly the adults can't be trusted to supervise and care for your son.

  3. #3
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    You are allowed a copy for sure. I would refuse to sign any more until you get a copy of all of them.

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    At my daycare if an incident happens that day they get me to sign a form they filled out about it that day so I know what went ob..
    Change centres if your ds isnt happy for sure!

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    Absolutely, they should be kept in his file.

    Whilst this is upsetting behaviour, I tend to agree that it is age appropriate social skills and not necessarily bullying. My main concern would be the lack of supervision, the other child's behaviour & your DS's should have been noticed a long time ago.

    The teacher should be closely monitoring all interactions with this other child and developing strategies for both children, they are only 3-4, they need help and guidance.

  6. #6
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    At 3-4 years old kids do actually understand that you shouldn't push other kids so I wouldn't say this is age appropriate behaviour. Please don't allow the centre to dismiss your concerns, bullying can and does occur even at 3. I would be inclined to move centres as they are obviously ill equipped or unwilling to resolve this situation and have not been forthcoming in providing you with information to which you're entitled - that alone rings alarm bells.

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    Got a family member who would watch him on a Thursday?


 

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