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  1. #11
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    OP I get that you're frustrated but why does DH have to be the one to stop things, why couldn't you have taken over the feeding and said 'no more'?

    I agree that 20 months is waaayyy too young for that kind of food (except the very occasional treat). Perhaps next time make sure that you sit next to her and if you're getting eye rolling and comments prepare some comments of your own, referencing obesity, tooth decay and the problems caused by salt on the kidneys? Who cares about their comments, at 20 months she wouldn't understand the sarcasm.

  2. #12
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    Because they are his parents and he should be the one to deal with them?

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  4. #13
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    As Dr Phil says, and I agree, we should both be responsible for dealing with our own families. My parents used to do the same thing until I made it very clear they had to stop. It was awkward and they were upset for a bit but they got over it and it's fine now and they ask before giving her a treat and I don't mind that at all because it's within reason and if I say no they accept that. I've already done the hard yards with my parents, he needs to man up and do the same; I know he agrees with me because he's actually more pedantic about what she eats and healthy food than I am and is quick to say something to me if he doesn't like what I'm feeding her.

    Anytime I say anything to the in laws, even if it's not inflammatory but just a polite request to not do something, it's the end of the world. I shouldn't have to deal with that. As for taking her back and feeding her, they coax her out of my arms and bribe her with treats, how do you force a child to come back to you with your meat and vegetables after that without a massive tantrum, then when I try and she has a tantrum it's all 'tsk tsk why would you make her cry like that'. I can't win with them, which is why I was venting..

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  6. #14
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    Quote Originally Posted by Mama Mirabelle View Post
    Thanks for all the replies. Yes it looks like I'll just have to keep standing my ground. DD is 20 months, you'd think by now they'd get that I don't like her eating that much junk. I wish they'd ask myself or DH first and if we say no just accept it, they don't have to agree with us, I don't care whether they do or not, they just need to accept that we get to make the rules for our child.

    BlissedOut it happens every time she sees them which is about 3 times a week, and while you may disagree I definitely don't think it's okay. It's like they try to ply her with as much junk as they can, as if that's what will make them good grandparents. While they feed it to her they say obnoxious things like 'who loves you the most, Grandma does because naughty Mummy doesn't let you have yummy cake/ice cream etc', its infuriating.
    Yeah that's an insane amount of junk to feed a 20 month old. If they question you I'd be saying I don't want it have to deal with her vomiting it all back up again!

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  8. #15
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    bunkx is offline Being happy doesn't mean that everything is perfect. It means that you've decided to look beyond the imperfections
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    That's too much junk for an adult let alone a child :-(
    If it was me and they continued to still feed her crap after I had asked I would not be having meals with them anymore. If it was my dp not standing up to his parents I would be more then ****ed he needs to tell them they are his parents !!

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    My inlaws are the same and they replied to me with 'your overweight so why does she eat differentlyπŸ˜‚'. Are they serious! Because I don't want her to be like me 😑

    Mine feed her bday cake fairy bread trifle everything!! Oh did I mention she is lactose intolerant?! But it must be in my head πŸ˜’ a little bit shouldn't hurt....... Grr so now they don't feed them or see them πŸ‘

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  12. #17
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    TheGooch is offline Winner 2014 - Newbie of the Year
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    Parents decide a child's diet, not grandparents so I don't care if this is rare or a regular occurrence.
    I was the fat kid, teased mercilessly and I came from a family who treated, rewarded and spoiled with food.
    Ask them to find another way to spoil your DD. Stories, activities, time together, experiences. As the country gets fatter, I just think we need to find other ways to spoil than with food.
    And if they won't work or your DH doesn't back you up or tell his parents, don't go there for meals.

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  14. #18
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    20 months is way to young for all the stuff!
    I'd have lost my top.
    Some people have no idea though. I went to a girlfriends place last week.
    She had bought half a dozen sweets (cupcake, banana bread, salted caramel something or other, lemon tart etc) for us.
    She cut all the treats into quarters so we could all try bits of each if we wanted.
    She walked in from the kitchen with a crockery plate with 6 quarters of cakes and handed it to my 11 month old DD....
    Some people are just not all that switched on to what bubs should or shouldn't have.

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    That's an insane amount of junk food but more importantly a very disrespectful way to treat you with the eye rolling and comments. I would be more angry about their attitude towards your choices as a mother than the food itself.

    My mil also gives my ds who is the same age junk food but she always asks me first because she knows I'm particular about diet. She also doesn't seem to know that fruit juice isn't their main drink!!

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  17. #20
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    That is a insane amount of junk food for anyone let alone a 20 month old. My parents were once like this but after making deserts and treats for my kids out of fruits and other non processed foods when my parents offer a ice cream or other treat my kids will usually ask for a piece of fruit instead. That's not to say sometimes they will take the sugary version, but luckily after many years of arguing (and eye rolls) my parents will now only offer 1 thing instead of multiple


 

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