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  1. #11
    Join Date
    Mar 2014
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 posts
    I did this early on with our twins. Left DH with all the responsibility for a day but I didn't actually leave. I only breastfed at the appropriate times though, apart from that they were all his. I went out into my garden, rang friends to chat, read books in my bedroom etc. It was actually really hard listening to it being chaotic but it definitely helped DHs understanding.

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    SpecialK  (25-10-2014)

  3. #12
    Join Date
    Jul 2010
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 posts
    If you ease him in take between 12 and 7 off. Walk out when DD is due her lunch. Leave a load of washing to hang out. Expect dinner when you get back. 7 hrs, it's not a lot to ask but covers the busiest time of the day.

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    SpecialK  (25-10-2014)

  5. #13
    Join Date
    Dec 2009
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 posts
    Quote Originally Posted by littlelove View Post
    My DH had generally been pretty good with this, but has taken everything I do for granted a few times. So now he has DS on his own for one full day a week while I go to work. At first he was all like 'oh its great staying home, I get to play with DS and relax and have a nap when he does', meanwhile the house was a pigsty and no dinner was cooked! So now I make sure that I text all throughout the day with 'reminders' of everything that needs to be done - washing, vacuuming, cooking dinner, running errands, swimming lessons, etc. He now looks just as exhausted at the end of his 'day off' as I look at the end of all of my 'days off'.

    So, if you're going to leave DD with your DH for the day, make sure you also leave him a list of everything you'd normally have to do as well... And if he hasn't done it all, ask him what he's been doing all day and why dinner isn't on the table... See how he likes it!

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    My DH looks after DS one day a week too. At first I was running around like mad to make sure there were minimal chores for him to do so he could 'just' look after DS. And he was like 'oh looking after DS is a breeze' and that's when I realised he needed to be more responsible for other household duties especially since we're both working 4 days a week. DH was shocked at first when I gave a list of things to do he even said 'well what are u going to do?' Haha wake up call!! Now he admits that his day looking after DS is more challenging than going to paid work.

    I would start with a leaving your DH for a couple of hrs then get longer as he learns to settle and really look after DD's needs. Bath time and reading is a good start. Good luck

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    littlelove  (25-10-2014),SpecialK  (25-10-2014)

  7. #14
    Join Date
    Sep 2011
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 postsAmethyst Star - 5,000 posts
    Quote Originally Posted by peanutmonkey View Post
    Can you start with half a day? Even a few hours might be enough to make him think oh 5hi7?

    Or, take a week off everything but DD. Only wash yours and DD's clothes. Clean up after yourself only. Leave all his crap laying around and dont lift a single finger for him and certainly dont cook for him. See how much he thinks you do then.

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    This. And do it regularly! Until he gets the message.

    Another thing I would start is making him in charge of something for DD.
    Eg getting her up in the morning and getting her dressed.
    Or doing her bath and getting ready for bed.

    Don't suggest this. ... Say 'I need you to do DD's bath time every night this week. I have other things I could be doing and you are home and is the perfect play time fun you can have with her. ' (you know providing bath time is fun! )

    I make my DH do this. Even if he's walked in the door from work and 30 seconds later it's bath time. Even if he whines about it. I just walk away! !

    Again. . Don't ask. .. But say 'I'm going for coffee out with a friend at 10 on Saturday. DD will be home with you. I'll be a few hours.' No asking! ! He's the daddy.

    He may come to realize is not that easy.

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    SpecialK  (25-10-2014)


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