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  1. #1
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    Default second baby after difficult first

    Hi all, I want two kids for various reasons but mainly I don't want dd to be an only child.
    She's 18 months now and we think Feb next year will be a good time for us to try for number two.
    Now I had a great pregnancy and uncomplicated birth so I'm not scared of that. DD however was a VERY difficult baby. Even people who'd had a few kids couldn't believe what she was like. I love her to bits but wow it was hard.
    She was a colicky baby for whatever that actually means. She screamed a lot and slept very little. She had witching hours every night from 5pm on the dot until 11-12. She screamed and fed constantly at this time and this went on for 3 months. It was just so hard and I honestly can't see how I would cope with that again if I had a toddler also. Nobody in our house slept because dd screamed so often and was up night after night.
    I'm really scared of having that experience again. Not really sure what to do because I can't guarantee that the next baby will be easier.
    How different were your babies? Did anyone have a really difficult first child and go on to have a much more settled subsequent baby?

  2. #2
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    Subbing

    Sent from my HTC_0P9O2 using The Bub Hub mobile app

  3. #3
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    Subbing. I could of written your post. Want another (dd is 21 months) but terrified of going through newborn stage again with a toddler as well, it's putting me off.

  4. #4
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    Hi there
    Im due with no2 in 4 weeks and have a 20 month dd who I also really struggled with until she was 6 months old.
    We always said we wanted about 4 children and as we only conceive via ivf felt like we were on a time limit with our frozen embryos so jumped right into it when dd turned 1... i haven't found this pregnancy hard just more exhausted now than anything.
    I am starting to get a little anxious as to how I will cope when ds arrives but hoping he's a completely different baby!!
    At the end of the day we survive though, it sounds like you've had it tough but it has hopefully passed for you now

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  5. #5
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    My first was very difficult. Reflux, colicky, cried a lot, hard to settle, didn't sleep much, didn't sleep through til she was 2. I was terrified of having another even though I'd always wanted two. That's why DS didn't come along until DD was 4.5.

    He was also a challenging baby. Reflux, colic, and medical issues to boot. He's 4.5 and still wakes several times every night. But despite that I found him easier and personality wise he is much more easygoing than DD. I couldn't imagine my life without him. Second time round I was better prepared and equipped to deal with the reflux and colic and lack of sleep. It was still darn hard but our family wasn't complete with just one and now it is, so it was 100% worth it.

  6. #6
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    To put it nicely, dd1 was and is still is a nightmare (she is 7 now). And I suffered severe PND. The thought of having another and going through it again scared the absolute crap out of me. But second time round (unplanned), was the total opposite. She was a dream baby, very calm and chilled, excellent sleeper, couldn't ask for an easier baby and I was on cloud 9 for so long (hell I still am 4 years later). Then along came dd3 (planned)- started off rough as she had reflux and was very unsettled but I felt so much more in control so it didnt bother me like it did with dd1. I just rolled with it and knew any rough patches would pass eventually. From about 3 months (maybe 4), she settled right down, became a great sleeper as well and it just all went so smoothly. Now we also have a 5 month old dd4 and again.... dream baby very much like dd2. I struggled a lot for the first maybe 2 months, as dh now works fifo interstate and can be gone weeks at a time and home for only a few days before leaving so I really missed that extra set of hands especially at night when its dinner/bath/bed time. But we have slowly worked out a routine that works for us and now things are great.

    I think with numbers 2, 3 and 4 I felt much more in control, knew what to expect and knew some tricks for those rough times. There wasnt that feeling of "holy **** what the hell do I do when the baby cries". That fear of the unknown was gone.

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  7. #7
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    My second baby (DD) was definitely easier than my first. DS1 probably wasn't all that difficult though, it was all just such a change. I would say my DS2 is probably similar to him, but I'm coping with it better this time, even with 2 other kids to look after.
    So if you do get another difficult baby you will have loads more skills to cope with them, but fingers crossed you get a good baby like my DD (although she has turned into a terror now at 3)!

  8. #8
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    Some amazing advice. Lil mis after four kids you would be a total pro but I definitely understand being able to cope better with the tips and tricks you learn. I think I was totally unprepared for dd and it's why I got so depressed.


 

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