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  1. #21
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    *Ducks for Cover* I actually don't mind the article and agree with it. Sure, everyone has the right to vent, and no being a SAHM isn't all roses and sunshine (I was one for seven years and HATED it by the end). However, I was always thankful to be in a position where I could SAH with my babies. When I did mother's group, we had an online group so we could chat daily. One woman in particular never had anything nice to say...it was all 'that disgusting f'in B just p!ssed all over his floor. FFS I am sick of cleaning up his f'in p!ss the dirty little f'er' all day, every day because she had one child who was toilet training etc. She didn't speak to her kids like this, this was just her way of venting....but she vented constantly. She clearly didn't enjoy being a SAHM, and I did feel for her that she was a SAHM when she obviously didn't want to be but it was hard to read day in and day out and it got the better of me and I left the online group because I couldn't cope with it.

    I get it...I loved the 'being a SAHM sucks, actually' thread because I could relate to it so much. I understand the need to vent, but I also understand that hair pulling moment when you just want to say to someone 'far out, you had kids, enjoy them while you've got them. Don't let the wee on the floor be the focal point of your day. Say something nice about your children just once, you won't be home with them forever.'

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  3. #22
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    ^ even venting I could never use that language about my DD!! What a revolting woman!

    I do kind of agree with the article as well though - I am a SAHM and yes it's hard and stressful but I am so lucky to be in this position.

  4. #23
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    wow yes not cool to speak constantly (or ever) about your own DD this way. But surely this is the minority?

    I haven't met any SAHM venting this hard to be honest. Those I know vent just as much or as little as my work colleagues. And I think everyone is entitled to a little venting...

    Oh also what I dislike in that piece is how she makes it sound like I'm missing on all my child milestone because I chose to work. And how sorry she feels for me. And how I have a boss that sexually harass me and I feed my family frozen food. None of this is true.

    I feel very sorry for her supposed friends who went to her house with greasy hair to have a little vent and then found out that they have been hanging out to dry on a blog post where she despises them.
    Who needs enemies when you have a friend like the author.
    Last edited by ExcuseMyFrench; 23-10-2014 at 12:52.

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  6. #24
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    That was a pretty mean, patronising article. Sure, I understand wanting people to be grateful for their kids and what they have in life but insulting people, belittling their feelings, and basically acting like you're superior to them because you feel so darn lucky to have had the chance to clean up after a spewy baby is only going to spread ill feeing. (And really? lucky to have had the chance to clean up after a spewy colicky baby? I didn't enjoy colic and I'm not going to be ashamed about that). You don't inspire people by telling them how much they annoy you.

    I much prefer the way you put it Party of Three - 'don't let the wee on the floor be the focal point of your day'. I think that can be a useful message. But the way the author of the article phrased her point sounded just smug and catty to me.

    That said, if a friend shared and liked the article I'd just ignore it. I have some friends who share all sorts of things that I don't agree with. I figure its their Facebook, they can post whatever garbage they like but if they do it often enough I remove them from my newsfeed.

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  8. #25
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    I'm a SAHM and I can agree and disagree with the written piece.

    Some days it is hard and you just want to vent. Just like when you have a job and you have a crappy day and you come home and have a whinge about it. Being a stay at home mum hasn't been how I imagined it (I pictured being super mum/super housewife doing baking, cleaning and lots of amazing craft projects with my kids) but I feel very lucky that I get to do it and that we are in a position where I am able to stay home. I know that everyone is not able to, and I can understand that hearing a SAHM ***** all the time about how hard it is would be annoying especially if you would love to stay home with your kids.

  9. #26
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    I actually read that piece the other day. I can fully understand that listening to someone complain over and over can be taxing. But when people do it to me, I try to think that maybe they're having an extremely tough time, maybe they're unhappy, stuggling with PND etc. I dont jump in and attack. It is always, always possible to say things with kindness. Pieces like this are just unnecessary in my opinion.

    I am fortunate to be a fulltime SAHM but I definitely dont always enjoy it. I want to go back to work but it isnt possible right now. I also want to study but again, not possible yet. Sometimes, when you're having a run of very bad days, its hard not to be resentful.

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  11. #27
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    Oh I also very often refer to my children as satans spawn... but its tongue in cheek and people who know me know how I mean it. If people think I'm an ungrateful mean mum for it, I'm ok with that, just means they dont know me at all!

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    Fair enough @ExcuseMyFrench I am reading the article from someone who was a SAHM until my last baby was 2 years old so the attacks on working mothers just didn't stand out for me so much, but I definitely understand where you're coming from.

    All I could picture in my head when reading it was this woman who spoke about her children so disgustingly and it probably skewed my view. I could have shared this article on that online group in hopes she would have read it and perhaps toned it down a bit! But I'm sure it would have ruffled the feathers of every one else.

  13. #29
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    The article wouldn't have even registered with me TBH, but I'm not usually phased by other people's views on how people as a group live their life (whether I'm part of that group or not).

    I was expecting something much worse.

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  15. #30
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    Quote Originally Posted by littlelove View Post
    For me it would depend - is she childless by choice, or struggling with fertility? If childless by choice, yeah I might tell her she's being offensive about a situation that she doesn't understand. But if she is struggling with fertility then I wouldn't say anything. That's a battle that can take you to dark places, and seeing SAHM friends who are living the dream that she wants to be living but can't, and they are complaining about it, well she would probably feel that they were being ungrateful whingers. Of course we know that's not true, being a SAHM is a bloody tough job! But her judgement might be clouded by her experiences.

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    This


 

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