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  1. #51
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    Just so you know, I'm not being judgemental. I have a genuine concern for the way my children will perceive beauty and want lengths they may go to in order to feel beautiful. I am trying to understand so that when my daughter's are old enough and do notice I can talk to them honestly about the reasons why people choose to have breast implants.

    Hulahoop - you're right, I can't 'pick out' the reason for all the women who I don't know (and yes, it's at the beach that I notice it the most. I live within 10 minutes of the beach and we're there every single week) but I do know several women with boob jobs and the reasons behind it for these women are cosmetic.

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    All I know is this thread has made me determined to get mine done in the next year or so.

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  4. #53
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    Quote Originally Posted by Sethysmum View Post
    For whats it worth I will put my two cents in....I dont think anyone should judge until they have walked a mile in someones shoes. There are all different reasons why some one may choose breast augmentation. I had mine done 9 years ago and it was the best thing I ever did. I have never regreted my decision. I didnt do it out of vein or beauty but for personal reasons. I think women these days just need to stop being so judgemental.

    Sent from my SM-G900I using The Bub Hub mobile app
    I agree. I think ultimately it's every woman's decision how they choose to dress, present themselves, how they define beauty etc.

    But I also think it's a valid discussion about where these feelings stem from and what it means for our kids.

    I guess this topic has been on my mind lately as my DD who I've put a great deal of work into teaching about inner beauty, self acceptance, said to me that I need to apply that to myself and that effectively I have low self esteem about myself physically (which is true). It got the cogs turning about the subliminal messages that I am sending her that she is obviously getting.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Party of Three View Post
    but I do know several women with boob jobs and the reasons behind it for these women are cosmetic.
    You haven't come across as judgemental in my humble opinion.

    Where does the line cross that 'cosmetic' ie no medical or necessary reason, cross into a person's mental happiness? That's really hard to measure. If I was flat chested and spent my life since puberty trying to enhance the size of my chest to the point of obsession, stayed home instead of going to the beach, endured jokes etc - isn't that a good enough reason to look the way you would feel happier? For some I'm sure it's very extreme. I'd rather my daughter, through careful consideration and research, was happy with her chest rather than having the issue rule her world.

    My sister had the opposite - she had MASSIVE b00bs. She always dresses beautifully and is a stunning lady - but people would make comment and guys in particular would look at her b00bs while talking to her. I've seen it for years. She had a reduction and hasn't looked back. She now exercises (which was near impossible) and wears clothes that fit and although I wouldn't say she's necessarily happier (she's a 99 percenter anyway) she doesn't have the worry of the b00bs ruling her life.

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    I have 'fake boobs'. You would never guess though as I went from AAA (flat with nothing at all) to a B.

    I waited until I was about 26 before I got them. I got them as I wanted to feel feminine, and to be able to wear nice dresses and tops without stressing about how flat it made me look. I had my sister comment how she would never get them and how she would love to be flat chested. ..but she has boobs, and she has never experienced what it's like to be a grown woman and have nothing there.

    I have no regrets...I love them and forget they are breast implants. I like how I look in clothes now. Best $11k I ever spent.

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    Quote Originally Posted by delirium View Post
    I agree. I think ultimately it's every woman's decision how they choose to dress, present themselves, how they define beauty etc.

    But I also think it's a valid discussion about where these feelings stem from and what it means for our kids.

    I guess this topic has been on my mind lately as my DD who I've put a great deal of work into teaching about inner beauty, self acceptance, said to me that I need to apply that to myself and that effectively I have low self esteem about myself physically (which is true). It got the cogs turning about the subliminal messages that I am sending her that she is obviously getting.

    Im sorry I dont understand the point you are trying to make. Why would you think that the feelings would need to stem from somewhere?
    Maybe for a small percentage of people but not for a majority in my opinion.


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    Quote Originally Posted by Sethysmum View Post
    Im sorry I dont understand the point you are trying to make. Why would you think that the feelings would need to stem from somewhere?
    Maybe for a small percentage of people but not for a majority in my opinion.


    Sent from my SM-G900I using The Bub Hub mobile app
    That the need to have bigger/smaller/perky boobs have blonde/red hair, to be thin etc is often social pressure, a culture we are brought up with that tells us what society deems 'attractive'. I'm not saying women with small boobs shouldn't get a boob job, nor those wanting a reduction shouldn't. Just that sometimes it's good to keep in mind where those feelings stem from.

    An example - as I said, I hate my boobs. Why do I though? Women in Africa have saggy breasts and no one bats an eye. I argue the reason I hate my boobs is bc there are such strong messages that perfect boobs equal perfect C/D cup that are perennially perky. I want those boobs, not mine bc every day we are saturated with what beautiful is.

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    Quote Originally Posted by delirium View Post
    It's a minefield isn't it? I want to raise my daughter to be a strong woman that loves who she is. But I do all those things. Does dying my hair and going to the gym send signals I'm a hypocrite that doesn't feel good enough myself?
    Going to the gym is all about being fit and healthy for me, nothing to do with trying to be a size 10 (bahahahaha, as if I'm every going to be a size 10!!! )

    It is a minefield though. I started going grey at 22/23. At 44 my hair colour now would be a very dull brown with about 30-40% grey. Old women have grey hair, I'm not an only woman. I'm the same person I was at 22/23 (only with a shed-load more maturity and life experience) - I don't feel any different. I also have my eye brows and upper lip waxed. Between hair dye and an eyebrow wax I probably lose about 10 years and I'm vain enough that I would like to look as young as I reasonably can.

    DS asked me what I was doing one day when he caught me putting mascara on. I had no idea what to say.

    I am trying to encourage DD to define "beautiful" as a person who is brave, clever and most of all, kind. I had a mini heart attack when she told me that "DS is clever, but I'm pretty".

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    Quote Originally Posted by delirium View Post
    That the need to have bigger/smaller/perky boobs have blonde/red hair, to be thin etc is often social pressure, a culture we are brought up with that tells us what society deems 'attractive'. I'm not saying women with small boobs shouldn't get a boob job, nor those wanting a reduction shouldn't. Just that sometimes it's good to keep in mind where those feelings stem from.

    An example - as I said, I hate my boobs. Why do I though? Women in Africa have saggy breasts and no one bats an eye. I argue the reason I hate my boobs is bc there are such strong messages that perfect boobs equal perfect C/D cup that are perennially perky. I want those boobs, not mine bc every day we are saturated with what beautiful is.
    I must be out of the norm. I have never paid attention to what society deems as attractive or bowed to social pressure. Whats wrong with people choosing things like dying their hair, types of clothing or cosmetic surgery because they like it not because society deems it to be that way. I have always just done my own thing and had a mind of my own. Exactly how my mother raised me. I do understand that some do bow to social pressure and what society deems as attractive but I guess we raise our children to the best of our ability to be strong minded and able to make their own decisions regarding beauty and how they wish to potray that. I hope that makes sense.

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    Last edited by Sethysmum; 22-10-2014 at 20:44.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Sethysmum View Post
    I must be out of the norm. I have never paid attention to what society deems as attractive or bowed to social pressure. Whats wrong with people choosing things like dying their hair, types of clothing or cosmetic surgery because they like it not because society deems it to be that way. I have always just done my own thing and had a mind of my own. Exactly how my mother raised me. I do understand that some do bow to social pressure and what society deems as attractive but I guess we raise our children to the best of our ability to be strong minded and able to make their own decisions regarding beauty and how they wish to potray that. I hope that makes sense.

    Sent from my SM-G900I using The Bub Hub mobile app
    But @Sethysmum....how do you define what is attractive? What defines whether you feel good (or not so good) about how you look on any given day?

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