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  1. #71
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    Sorry but i wouldnt go. Ive not gone to family things before because they are at nap time/ too far away etc.

    I would send a present to arrive on the day but saying sorry i cant make it.

  2. #72
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    To answer the original question WWYD, I would have gone along for the sake of your nephew. The scenarios you've listed, whilst not convenient or particularly enjoyable for you, would not be valid enough reasons for me to not attend.

    I'd have taken our own lunch and being a park, it's easy to take breaks from the group by taking your DD for a wander and a play.

    Even if you just stayed for an hour, at least it shows an effort was made.

    If I was your SIL, I would most certainly be disappointed at the way your DH addressed the situation. There are nicer, more tactful ways of declining invitations.

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  4. #73
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    Quote Originally Posted by Little Miss Sunshine View Post
    Meh, I don't think SILs that gracious.

    It was less than 2 weeks notice
    The invites were just dodged up and sent by email
    No food and drink (stingy)
    Decided to hold it in a park that she knew was a lot further away (for all of us) at a time when people usually eat lunch
    invited people she knows we don't like and are horrifying to be seen in public with (loud and rude)

    I think she was relying on our guilt and loyalty in rocking up.

    She didn't make an effort and we wouldn't of had a good time (dd is still too little to fully enjoy parks and tends to get pushed around, plus is a pita when she doesn't nap properly)
    so DH didn't think it impolite to decline like that.

    I'm so glad I don't have to suck it up it was truly going to be awful and take away our whole Saturday together

    Eta: on reflection I probably should of mentioned the lack of notice or proper invite in my original post. Maybe people would of had a different opinion. Or maybe not. It is family and that's what makes it hard.
    Look I totally get it's your hubby's call.... However listing these reasons here I am taking as an invite to comment further.. And I can't help it.... I have to say these are pi$$weak reasons, and I think it's pi$$weak for you not to go.
    1) less than 2 weeks notice: so what. You obviously didn't have anything planned or you would have mentioned that.
    2) invites dodged up and sent by email: so what? What's wrong with email invites? Who said an invite had to be in paper format? It's the Internet age after all ...
    3) No food or drink. Perhaps the mum is stressed and couldn't handle the thought of catering, but still wanted to celebrate her boys birthday. I feel a bit like this. I have been a bit tired lately and seriously am getting anxious at the thought of organising a huge party... So I am just doing cake for afternoon tea. Regardless, bring your own food it's not that hard.
    4) at a park further away from you over lunchtime. Crikey. Wah wah wah. See above. Go through the maccas drive through on the way there.
    5) invited people you don't like and are horrifying to be seen with in public. Oh double crikey... 'Horrifying' ? stop being so dramatic. You and your hubby are adults, you should be able to sit around people you don't like once in a blue moon. You say these people are horrifying... But at least they put your nephew first and are turning up. In that case I would rather be horrifying like them than rude like your hubby.
    6) dd wouldn't have had a good time.
    - oh come on. Put your thinking cap on and bring along some age appropriate things to do for your dd.
    7) it's a pita when she doesn't nap properly. I agree but at some point you've got to stop being precious and start being flexible otherwise you will miss out on life. What if something terrible happened to your SIL or nephew? Or picture when you are 80 and on your deathbed... Are you going to be thinking "gee I'm glad dd had a good nap back on October 25 2014".... Or are you going to be thinking "my precious little nephew... So sorry I didn't go to your party."

    Sorry to be blunt. The only other think I can think of that sort of makes this understandable is if you it hubby are really stressed and/or depressed at the moment. I know when I get stressed I have to cut back on the frequency of trips out of the house. Sometimes if I have too much on I get anxious. I would like to think I would still make my nieces birthday a priority though.

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  6. #74
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    This is why I said I thought the outcome was a foregone conclusion.

    OP i wouldn't try and explain unless you really want. Family dynamics are extremely personal to each family. Some would crawl over cut glass to spend first birthdays together others not so much. I tend towards the former. I have no family around me so to take your for granted? Dunno. Life is short.
    Last edited by Sonja; 16-10-2014 at 14:14.

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  8. #75
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    rainbow road is offline look at the stars, look how they shine for you
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    Another question - not so much for the OP but anyone. Do 20 month olds really not enjoy the park? My son is 11 months and LOVES everything about the park. He can't obviously manage all the equipment himself but we got most days because he loves climbing and the swings. I would think 20 months is an ideal park loving age?

  9. #76
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    Quote Originally Posted by rainbow road View Post
    Another question - not so much for the OP but anyone. Do 20 month olds really not enjoy the park? My son is 11 months and LOVES everything about the park. He can't obviously manage all the equipment himself but we got most days because he loves climbing and the swings. I would think 20 months is an ideal park loving age?
    My boy loved the park at that age. My bub (8 months) likes it from the aspect he gets to look at different things.

  10. #77
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    Quote Originally Posted by rainbow road View Post
    Another question - not so much for the OP but anyone. Do 20 month olds really not enjoy the park? My son is 11 months and LOVES everything about the park. He can't obviously manage all the equipment himself but we got most days because he loves climbing and the swings. I would think 20 months is an ideal park loving age?
    DD is 6 months old and she squeals with delight from the moment we take her out of the car at the park. She can't handle any of the equipment but she's so happy to be there.

    Edit: Sentence structure.
    Last edited by Best Things; 17-10-2014 at 16:34.

  11. #78
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    I'm glad the op is not my SIL.

    I'd be so hurt if they were the lame excuses anyone in my family used to avoid celebrating a birthday party.

  12. #79
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    If you dont want to go then just don't go.
    In my opinion its not that big of a deal really, Visit the nephew another time and give him a gift or something.
    Not the end of the world if you dont go to the party though.

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  14. #80
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    ~Marigold~ is offline You make me happy, when skies are grey
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    Quote Originally Posted by preggasaurus View Post
    I'm glad the op is not my SIL.

    I'd be so hurt if they were the lame excuses anyone in my family used to avoid celebrating a birthday party.
    That's a bit harsh.
    What may come across as "lame" excuses to you are obviously valid enough for the OP and a personal thing. Who are we to judge?
    No one knows the type of relationship she has with her brother/SIL. She stated they weren't bothered by her not attending. Weren't hurt by her reasons etc.
    I think it's been blown way out of proportion.
    Remind me never to decline an RSVP in the future, unless my excuses meet the stringent criteria of the host!



    Me 32, He 35, DS 14, DD 2

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