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  1. #41
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    Id say your DH has just made it into more than it needed to be by his message to SIL who is likely very upset now - sure you don't need to like her friends but to say attending a party with them is so awful would be upsetting.

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    Personally, I would call SIL now and just apologise for your DH message and say of course we will be there he's just having a bad day

    I always combine friends and family at our parties/ functions I like celebrating with everyone who loves DS , it's their problem if they don't like each other!

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    So anyways just received a msg from SIL, she's cool with it just checking whether to catch up at hers or ours lol.

    Really, DH has always been blunt and his sister has grown up with him and knows this. She knows we love her son we catch up regularly.

    You really don't know her friends. Just horrible people.

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    Wasn't there a huge thread on here she's ago about how rude not to provide food at a party and how the host is selfish blah blah blah.

    Op I'm going against the grain here and saying don't go. It's your only family day, she's not making an effort to even buy a packet of chips so why should you disrupt your day. I would however have a private catch up and spoil your nephew another time.
    As for the comments how would you feel if it was your daughters party, in sure you would at least cater to make it worth their while

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  7. #45
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    *ages not she's

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    Quote Originally Posted by maternidade View Post
    Wasn't there a huge thread on here she's ago about how rude not to provide food at a party and how the host is selfish blah blah blah.
    I totally agree with you. It is rude not to supply at least something. However, why should their nephew pay the price for what his parents dont' supply, or where they have the party, or who they invite?

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    Yep I would go. My dislike for others could not outweigh the love for my niece or nephew. TBH my son has some pretty annoying little mates who I would rather not have to have at HIS party (because I have very high expectations about manners which are probably quite silly) but it's not about me. It's about the child. A few hours out of my year to suck it up? Do able. Probably because of empathy, selflessness and humility.

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  11. #48
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    Glad it's all worked out Op!
    I was going to suggest going to the party, but have lunch first, stay at the park an hour and go home.
    It's meeting nephews needs but not starving you guys in the process!

    It's rude to hold a party over a meal time and not provide food. But that's not on nephew. He can't cater yet probably!

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    Wow, I think you have an incredibly understanding and gracious SIL, OP. I certainly wouldn't have reacted as kindly as she has, how rude! I personally don't always love 'mingle' parties, especially if I don't know anyone else - but at a park, it's easy to play with your DD and have a nice family day.

    I personally would provide food any time I've thrown a party, but then again - there are a lot of allergies and food/ eating issues these days, a lot of fussy toddlers who won't eat anything but junk, and then other toddlers whose parents only allow healthy foods and would be annoyed if there were junk provided, a lot of different dietary choices (vegan/ gluten free/ paleo/ etc), so maybe she thought it would be better to allow people to pack a picnic & choose their own foods? If there are fussy eaters amongst friends/family, it can be really difficult to cater to everyone's needs. I've been to a birthday party that has been a 'byo picnic/ share plate', and am completely happy to comply.

    As for the difficult friends... it's a park, there is plenty of opportunity to escape their company - bring a ball to kick around, go on the playground, etc - you don't have to sit on their lap for the entire time you're there!

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    Meh, I don't think SILs that gracious.

    It was less than 2 weeks notice
    The invites were just dodged up and sent by email
    No food and drink (stingy)
    Decided to hold it in a park that she knew was a lot further away (for all of us) at a time when people usually eat lunch
    invited people she knows we don't like and are horrifying to be seen in public with (loud and rude)

    I think she was relying on our guilt and loyalty in rocking up.

    She didn't make an effort and we wouldn't of had a good time (dd is still too little to fully enjoy parks and tends to get pushed around, plus is a pita when she doesn't nap properly)
    so DH didn't think it impolite to decline like that.

    I'm so glad I don't have to suck it up it was truly going to be awful and take away our whole Saturday together

    Eta: on reflection I probably should of mentioned the lack of notice or proper invite in my original post. Maybe people would of had a different opinion. Or maybe not. It is family and that's what makes it hard.
    Last edited by Little Miss Sunshine; 15-10-2014 at 20:06.


 
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