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  1. #151
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    Quote Originally Posted by redlipsandpearls View Post
    Can someone clear some things up for me.

    Do CSA factor in the receiving parent's income when working out how much the other parent has to pay? I didn't think they did, that it's purely based on the paying parent's income.

    If the receiving parent is receiving SPP, don't they factor in the amount of CS they're supposed to receive, thus deducting their SPP payments to reflect that? So it would be highly unlikely that they're living the high life.
    I'm a bit behind so I'm sure someone has a answered this but yes, your family tax rates reduce based on child support - they still deduct from FTB even if the payer doesn't pay! I think that needs to change.

    I am a payee and I am repartnered. ExDP is also repartnered with a new child and a partner who doesn't work, we have a private arrangement and it works for us because we are amicable and understand that life happens. He will pay more if I ask, and I understand if he can't pay here or there. At the moment he is back paying 3 months of CS at a small amount each week as I understood that things happen and come up.

    I think that there needs to be more support for separating parents to understand each other and not do the he said/she said, he gets/she gets attitude that gets thrown around so regularly! There's so much bitterness in separations so peoples feelings get in the way of what's important - ensuring the kids are well look after.

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  3. #152
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    Quote Originally Posted by nudge88 View Post
    A review of the minimum repayment so that deadbeats actually contribute to the raising of their children. The current minimum payment of $7/week is NOT half the cost of raising a child.
    YES! What the hell is that supposed to pay for???

  4. #153
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    Quote Originally Posted by Ra Ra Superstar View Post
    I would like to see a system where step parents who don't whine about how much their step child/ren are costing them but who care for their step child/ren because they love them and because they genuinely want to see their step child/ren succeed in life with every opportunity that they can provide are reimbursed for their time and expenses by the parent who fails to do the job that they are doing.
    Excuse me! I've been passively watching this conversation but I have to draw a line at this.
    This is simply one of the most offensive and hurtful things I have ever read on here. What parent, step parent, bio mother or father is FAILING to do their role? Is it not the main objective in these situations to work together? I know I sure as hell do and believe me, under very difficult circumstances. Perhaps there are some non custodial parents who don't step up to the plate, but there are lot that do and go above and beyond despite incredibly difficult circumstances beyond their control. Not every non custodial parent chooses to relinquish time with their child or has less than 50% by choice, however when this is the circumstance, they are being perceived as failing to fulfil their duties as a parent. Can't win, honestly. No wonder things end up so hostile between people trying to co-parent , if this is the sort of perception that's out there.

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  6. #154
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    Everyone, I guess this is a topic that could be debated endlessly. There are no winners in the situation and the system as it is will not please everyone involved.
    Please just be mindful that there are people who do have logical arguments for and against the current system and each of us has different experiences and backgrounds. Please don't make assumptions and at least try to be diplomatic, it's a very sensitive topic for
    some.

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  8. #155
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    Quote Originally Posted by Bunny Lover View Post
    Excuse me! I've been passively watching this conversation but I have to draw a line at this.
    This is simply one of the most offensive and hurtful things I have ever read on here. What parent, step parent, bio mother or father is FAILING to do their role? Is it not the main objective in these situations to work together? I know I sure as hell do and believe me, under very difficult circumstances. Perhaps there are some non custodial parents who don't step up to the plate, but there are lot that do and go above and beyond despite incredibly difficult circumstances beyond their control. Not every non custodial parent chooses to relinquish time with their child or has less than 50% by choice, however when this is the circumstance, they are being perceived as failing to fulfil their duties as a parent. Can't win, honestly. No wonder things end up so hostile between people trying to co-parent , if this is the sort of perception that's out there.
    I think you've misinterpreted her post, or maybe I have?
    I thought Ra Ra was saying that she wishes step parents wouldn't resent their step children, but instead embrace them.

    I'm sure she isn't saying that every step parent is like that, but some are.
    I know a couple that have recently started lying to CL and CSA by having the stepmum claim SPP (they also have children together), in turn reducing what the Dad has to pay in CS for his other children... All because they still want to be able to spend frivolously.

  9. #156
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    Quote Originally Posted by redlipsandpearls View Post
    I think you've misinterpreted her post, or maybe I have?
    I thought Ra Ra was saying that she wishes step parents wouldn't resent their step children, but instead embrace them.

    I'm sure she isn't saying that every step parent is like that, but some are.
    I know a couple that have recently started lying to CL and CSA by having the stepmum claim SPP (they also have children together), in turn reducing what the Dad has to pay in CS for his other children... All because they still want to be able to spend frivolously.
    Oh, I absolutely agree that step parents shouldn't resent the children. It's not the child's fault. What I took offence to was the very last sentence, being that a custodial parent should be reimbursed by the payer, as the payer is failing to do their job as a parent.
    The couple that you refer to - they need to be caught. That is completely selfish and abhorrent.

  10. #157
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    Quote Originally Posted by redlipsandpearls View Post
    I think you've misinterpreted her post, or maybe I have?
    I thought Ra Ra was saying that she wishes step parents wouldn't resent their step children, but instead embrace them.

    I'm sure she isn't saying that every step parent is like that, but some are.
    I know a couple that have recently started lying to CL and CSA by having the stepmum claim SPP (they also have children together), in turn reducing what the Dad has to pay in CS for his other children... All because they still want to be able to spend frivolously.
    You are aware of my personal circumstances @redlipsandpearls. ... Would you say that I apply to the evil step mother category who resents the presence of her step child? He is incredibly difficult to deal with but you know, we as a step parent and non custodial parent are doing everything we can to help him, at added expense. As it should be. It's what he needs!

  11. #158
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    Quote Originally Posted by Bunny Lover View Post
    Oh, I absolutely agree that step parents shouldn't resent the children. It's not the child's fault. What I took offence to was the very last sentence, being that a custodial parent should be reimbursed by the payer, as the payer is failing to do their job as a parent.
    The couple that you refer to - they need to be caught. That is completely selfish and abhorrent.
    You're right - looking back at that last sentence, I'm confused by what that's supposed to mean.

    And they will be caught

    Quote Originally Posted by Bunny Lover View Post
    You are aware of my personal circumstances @redlipsandpearls. ... Would you say that I apply to the evil step mother category who resents the presence of her step child? He is incredibly difficult to deal with but you know, we as a step parent and non custodial parent are doing everything we can to help him, at added expense. As it should be. It's what he needs!
    God no! You're a prime example of how a step parent should be.

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  13. #159
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    Quote Originally Posted by Bunny Lover View Post
    . What I took offence to was the very last sentence, being that a custodial parent should be reimbursed by the payer, as the payer is failing to do their job as a parent.
    Just to clarify or rather offer some insight, I come from a place where the non custodial parent willingly makes no contribution at all. The step parent (my DP) in my situation, goes above and beyond both emotionally and financially for his step child and doesn't say boo when one of those ' $7 a month slap in the face assessments' arrives in the post. He continues to raise his step child and does his best to advantage him in all aspects of life. The last sentence of my comment was really unrealistic and a bit of a tongue in cheek way of me saying that my DP, and all other step parents that want the best for their step children deserve so much more for their efforts

    I don't know your situation, but it sounds like you are one of those step parents that is doing a wonderful job for the benefit of your step children. My post was in no way aimed at you or anyone that falls into that category.

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  15. #160
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    Quote Originally Posted by Ra Ra Superstar View Post
    Just to clarify or rather offer some insight, I come from a place where the non custodial parent willingly makes no contribution at all. The step parent (my DP) in my situation, goes above and beyond both emotionally and financially for his step child and doesn't say boo when one of those ' $7 a month slap in the face assessments' arrives in the post. He continues to raise his step child and does his best to advantage him in all aspects of life. The last sentence of my comment was really unrealistic and a bit of a tongue in cheek way of me saying that my DP, and all other step parents that want the best for their step children deserve so much more for their efforts

    I don't know your situation, but it sounds like you are one of those step parents that is doing a wonderful job for the benefit of your step children. My post was in no way aimed at you or anyone that falls into that category.
    I apologise for any misunderstanding! Now that you've put it that way I understand. And apologies for jumping down your throat.

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