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  1. #91
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    Quote Originally Posted by redlipsandpearls View Post
    Can someone clear some things up for me.

    Do CSA factor in the receiving parent's income when working out how much the other parent has to pay? I didn't think they did, that it's purely based on the paying parent's income.

    If the receiving parent is receiving SPP, don't they factor in the amount of CS they're supposed to receive, thus deducting their SPP payments to reflect that? So it would be highly unlikely that they're living the high life.
    Yes BOTH incomes are factored in. If I wasn't working full time FOB would be paying more. DP's assessment for what he pays fluctuates as both he and his ex work.

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  3. #92
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    Quote Originally Posted by ExcuseMyFrench View Post
    yes to a certain extent.
    Dad would have probably advanced in his career while he had the whole home and family logistic assured by mum.
    If he is earning so well while having kids it's also because he was able to put the long and hard hours at work because someone else was caring for the kids.
    What happened to mums career while she work at home growing the kids and supporting dads career?
    Well hers crash and burn. She has been out of work for years. Skills are not up to date. So yes she needs and deserve some money from dad.

    That's why I would never ever choose to have a parent stay at home. I don't want to be or to put my DH in this situation. Recipe for disaster if the couple splits.
    These are great points, no matter how much you love and trust your partner, staying out of the work force for a long period of time can make woman VERY vulnerable to not being able to support herself and her children properly.

    I see it in RL with woman that I know and from reading so many threads in the Hub where woman are staying with a partner they do not love or somebody they are treated badly by because they can't even afford the rent or mortgage without his wage.

    Nobody knows what is in store, it's in your best interests and your children's interests to have some decent job skills. Just in case. Choices are always good, no choice feels like your life is over.

  4. #93
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    Quote Originally Posted by ExcuseMyFrench View Post
    yes to a certain extent.
    Dad would have probably advanced in his career while he had the whole home and family logistic assured by mum.
    If he is earning so well while having kids it's also because he was able to put the long and hard hours at work because someone else was caring for the kids.
    What happened to mums career while she work at home growing the kids and supporting dads career?
    Well hers crash and burn. She has been out of work for years. Skills are not up to date. So yes she needs and deserve some money from dad.

    That's why I would never ever choose to have a parent stay at home. I don't want to be or to put my DH in this situation. Recipe for disaster if the couple splits.
    When my husband left me I had been a SAHM for 4 years and had to get a job the next day, because I could no longer rely on his financial support.

    I've worked hard and set myself up in a career of my own, so I'd have that independence.

    It wouldn't be right to either my ex, or myself to live with that level of dependence.

  5. #94
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    Quote Originally Posted by VicPark View Post
    If the mum doesn't want to work, then she can explain the downgraded lifestyle to her kid. If the non custodial parent is a good parent and has extra $$ then yeah they will choose to top up things for their kid. It's a fine line between making sure the kid doesn't miss out, and making sure the non custodial parent isn't supporting a lifestyle for their ex above what the ex would lead based on their own earnings.
    Seriously? So along with explaining why daddy has left the family to live with a new woman (which let's face it most do) she has to also (a) immediately return to full time work or (b) explain to her kids why they have to now move to a sh-t box in an unsafe suburb.

    Honestly everyone knows my views on how I strongly believe all women should work, but if a woman is raising her kids and supporting her husband and they all enjoy a certain lifestyle and she doesn't work and everyone is happy with that, then it's incredibly destructive for the kids to not only lose their father but then also go to before and after school care 5 days a week almost immediately so their mother can work when that's not what they're used to.

    Come on. VicPark I realise your views are skewed by the fact you've never been in that situation. But not every first wife is jetting off to Barbados and having her nails rotated 3 times a week.

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  7. #95
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    so dad cant move on but mum can. right got it

  8. #96
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    Quote Originally Posted by BlissedOut View Post
    When my husband left me I had been a SAHM for 4 years and had to get a job the next day, because I could no longer rely on his financial support.

    I've worked hard and set myself up in a career of my own, so I'd have that independence.

    It wouldn't be right to either my ex, or myself to live with that level of dependence.
    Yes but not every person can. I take my hat off to you but depending on circumstances women may not be skilled or may not be Abel to access childcare on such short notice.

  9. #97
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    Quote Originally Posted by Sonja View Post
    Seriously? So along with explaining why daddy has left the family to live with a new woman (which let's face it most do) she has to also (a) immediately return to full time work or (b) explain to her kids why they have to now move to a sh-t box in an unsafe suburb.

    Honestly everyone knows my views on how I strongly believe all women should work, but if a woman is raising her kids and supporting her husband and they all enjoy a certain lifestyle and she doesn't work and everyone is happy with that, then it's incredibly destructive for the kids to not only lose their father but then also go to before and after school care 5 days a week almost immediately so their mother can work when that's not what they're used to.

    Come on. VicPark I realise your views are skewed by the fact you've never been in that situation. But not every first wife is jetting off to Barbados and having her nails rotated 3 times a week.
    I literally have slightly wee'd myself reading that last paragraph!

  10. #98
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    Witwicky is offline A closed mouth gathers no foot.
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    Quote Originally Posted by MrsBid View Post
    and honestly who is spending $400 a week on a kid

    Sent from my GT-I9505 using The Bub Hub mobile app
    Really?

    I spend a bit over $800 a fortnight on my children to attend day care alone. Plus food, general medical expenses, costs of fuel to transport them to and from day care etc, clothing, and everything else. They don't do any extra curricular activities at the moment, but that would easily add up as well.

    On top of this, I spend hundreds of dollars per month on my sons special medical bills. I'm in the process of arranging for a CSA reassessment because of the extra expenses, but the process is long and difficult.

    Current child support amount is abysmal and barely covers any of the above expenses.

  11. #99
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    Quote Originally Posted by MrsBid View Post
    so dad cant move on but mum can. right got it
    What does that mean? When I was a family lawyer the dads in the vast majority definitely moved on.

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  13. #100
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    Quote Originally Posted by Sonja View Post
    Seriously? So along with explaining why daddy has left the family to live with a new woman (which let's face it most do) she has to also (a) immediately return to full time work or (b) explain to her kids why they have to now move to a sh-t box in an unsafe suburb.

    Honestly everyone knows my views on how I strongly believe all women should work, but if a woman is raising her kids and supporting her husband and they all enjoy a certain lifestyle and she doesn't work and everyone is happy with that, then it's incredibly destructive for the kids to not only lose their father but then also go to before and after school care 5 days a week almost immediately so their mother can work when that's not what they're used to.

    Come on. VicPark I realise your views are skewed by the fact you've never been in that situation. But not every first wife is jetting off to Barbados and having her nails rotated 3 times a week.
    So how about a period of time in which support decreases, giving the mum the chance to establish herself independently. 2 or 3 years maybe...

    But surely you don't think it's fair for the dad to be covering the mum's choice to continue having kids several years later?

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