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  1. #11
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    Thanks ladies

    I am trying with the techniques I got from the sleep consultant but it just never seems to work. And its just so frustrating & I get so upset that dh can get him down & I cant cause it means that ds basically doesnt sleep between 6am & 7.30pm monday to friday & then sleeps during the day on weekends cause dh is here. So I know he can sleep during the day, he just wont for me

    Fitchick I dont drive, otherwise I would. A walk with the pram gets him one nap but then he still wont go to sleep for the rest of the day

    I just want to be consistant in our approach but when I cant settle him thats really hard - like if I can ever get ds to go to sleep its either on my lap, in his rocker or in the pram. Rarely in his cot. But dh can always get ds down in his cot. So I dont want him to think he only has to sleep in his cot when his dad is here & when he's not he'll just be held or sleep in his rocker

    Dh sometimes goes away overnight for work so I need to figure this out because it will be a nightmare otherwise. Dh is the one who has to put ds down for the night every time & if he's not here then he'd most likely scream all night. Im dreading the day dh has to go away for work

    Im not happy about making a feed to sleep association. I do it when I have to but I wont do it all the time. Cause that means I could never not be here at sleep time otherwise dh or grandparents/family members will have hours & hours of screaming. I want to be able to leave him with family members etc occasionally

    Sent from my SM-T210 using The Bub Hub mobile app
    Last edited by heartstringz; 11-10-2014 at 15:59.

  2. #12
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    Get headphones. Then pop bub in the cot and do a gentle bum pat till they go to sleep. The headphones should drown out the crying. He will sleep eventually.

    I'm betting bub is anxious cos you are stressed. Once it works for you, you will gain confidence and it will get easier.

    wifey of hubby who is always away. mother of two girls who are always amusing.

  3. #13
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    Quote Originally Posted by heartstringz View Post
    Thanks ladies

    I am trying with the techniques I got from the sleep consultant but it just never seems to work. And its just so frustrating & I get so upset that dh can get him down & I cant cause it means that ds basically doesnt sleep between 6am & 7.30pm monday to friday & then sleeps during the day on weekends cause dh is here. So I know he can sleep during the day, he just wont for me

    Fitchick I dont drive, otherwise I would. A walk with the pram gets him one nap but then he still wont go to sleep for the rest of the day

    I just want to be consistant in our approach but when I cant settle him thats really hard - like if I can ever get ds to go to sleep its either on my lap, in his rocker or in the pram. Rarely in his cot. But dh can always get ds down in his cot. So I dont want him to think he only has to sleep in his cot when his dad is here & when he's not he'll just be held or sleep in his rocker

    Dh sometimes goes away overnight for work so I need to figure this out because it will be a nightmare otherwise. Dh is the one who has to put ds down for the night every time & if he's not here then he'd most likely scream all night. Im dreading the day dh has to go away for work

    Im not happy about making a feed to sleep association. I do it when I have to but I wont do it all the time. Cause that means I could never not be here at sleep time otherwise dh or grandparents/family members will have hours & hours of screaming. I want to be able to leave him with family members etc occasionally

    Sent from my SM-T210 using The Bub Hub mobile app
    Walk 2-3 times a day if need be. Once bub is used to sleeping at certain times their body clock gets used to it snd then they feel sleepy at those times.

    wifey of hubby who is always away. mother of two girls who are always amusing.

  4. The Following User Says Thank You to Rose&Aurelia&Hannah For This Useful Post:

    Rutabaga  (12-10-2014)

  5. #14
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    My problem is how long do I persevere for? I mean in the past ive spent that long trying to get him to go to sleep that he ends up screaming cause he's hungry instead so then I just give up & feed him again. Over & over again all day.

    Sent from my SM-T210 using The Bub Hub mobile app

  6. #15
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    My son was the same...wouldn't settle for me but DH seemed to have the knack. Have you tried some white noise in the nursery? There are different apps to get or just some music on iPod. I know you don't want to start bad habits, but DS would go to sleep with the vacuum cleaner going in the room so sometimes I would do that when he was really overtired and/or I was getting upset for the first few months. Also, we found bouncing on the fit ball in a dark room and singing would calm bub, then once calm we could try put him in his cot.

    It's all trial and error. And I know, as much as you want to stick to a 'routine' or set way, it just gets thrown out the window when they don't settle at all. It is really tough, I hope you find what works for you and baby.

  7. #16
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    Does he have reflux?

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    Kellbell85  (11-10-2014)

  9. #17
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    No he doesnt have reflux.

    We use white noise. Im not sure if it even makes a difference but we do it anyway

    My other concern is if we are out all day & dh isnt available to help - ie Dh has sporting commitments coming up & ill go to the club but ill be looking after ds by myself while dh competes. I want him to still be able to do it but I dont know what ill do with ds - if he wont sleep at home no way will he sleep somewhere like that. Its just a hall, no dark rooms etc, lots of stimulation for him. So dh will get to play sport & ill endure hours of screaming

    Sent from my SM-T210 using The Bub Hub mobile app
    Last edited by heartstringz; 11-10-2014 at 16:19.

  10. #18
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    Quote Originally Posted by heartstringz View Post
    My problem is how long do I persevere for? I mean in the past ive spent that long trying to get him to go to sleep that he ends up screaming cause he's hungry instead so then I just give up & feed him again. Over & over again all day.

    Sent from my SM-T210 using The Bub Hub mobile app
    It depends on your priorities. I've had days where either or both kids have been sh!ts. I know they need sleep so I focus on that and stuff the rest. Dd1 went thru a stupid phase of refusing to sleep so I walked her in the pram to sleep for 4mths for her midday sleep and bedtime. I was either heavily pregnant or with a newborn. Rain, heat or whatever I walked. Whatever phase that was thankfully passed and now at 4 she still is 'programmed' to need that midday sleep.

    There have also been times where ive been stuck on the couch or bed feeding for hours. You gotta do what needs to be done.

    wifey of hubby who is always away. mother of two girls who are always amusing.

  11. The Following User Says Thank You to Rose&Aurelia&Hannah For This Useful Post:

    olismumma  (11-10-2014)

  12. #19
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    Hi, I've read quite a lot of your posts but I haven't replied before cos I'm a first time mum with a 4.5 month old so I don't know what I'm doing really! But I just wanted to say what I've found about feeding to sleep... I feed my littlie to sleep quite often, but I'm still able to get her to sleep other ways (in the hugabub, in the car, pram etc) and other people can too. So although I'm sure it does create sleep associations, they don't seem to mean that other methods and people aren't also able to get her to sleep (if you see what I mean!)

    I find that she's powerless to resist the hugabub if that helps as well!

    Having said all that, she does sleep on me a lot. I've just decided that for the time being that's what has to happen and I do a few jobs around the house when she's awake. Or else DH and I take it in turns to do housework when he's back from work.

    I'm not saying any of this is what's right for you, but I thought I'd share what I've discovered. Littlie used to cry for ages and it's awful. That's when I started using the hugabub.

  13. The Following 5 Users Say Thank You to Toppy For This Useful Post:

    BettyV  (11-10-2014),Rose&Aurelia&Hannah  (11-10-2014),Rutabaga  (12-10-2014),smallpotatoes  (11-10-2014),Starfish30  (11-10-2014)

  14. #20
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    Heartstringz- sorry I know a lot of people have already asked this, but I must have missed the answer... have you recently gone to the GP or other relevant health professional to seek management of your anxiety?
    I'm certain it would help you and your baby very much.

  15. The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to CMF For This Useful Post:

    olismumma  (11-10-2014),Rose&Aurelia&Hannah  (11-10-2014)


 

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