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  1. #21
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    My bestie and I drifted apart. We went through high school together and were super close through uni. Then she found some new friends and changed. She was quite self absorbed and everything was about them. There was no big fight but the friendship fractured quickly.

    Anyway not sure how about about 6 years passed and we started talking again. We just picked up where we left off. The other friends were long gone. She is like a sister to me, I'm god mother to her kids and she's god mother to mine. So glad we reconnected.

  2. #22
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    Yes, a friendship to my best friend ended 5 years back due to substance abuse issues and major disagreements regarding issues with her daughter and family issues. She also had a partner (now husbsnd) who was emotionally abusive and manipulative and isolated her from her family/friends. At the time she was incapable of listening to advice, became a very different person and then became erratic. I was going through ivf then a very unexpected breakup and could not cope with her any more. I still live her so much though but we can't be friends after all that. I hope she is well and truly happy.

  3. #23
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    My bestie ended up getting together with my ex, not long after we broke up. We tried staying friends, but the damage was done. They ended up getting married. I hope for her sake he changed his drinking and marajuana habits. It really hurt me and I have never been able to let myself get that close to a girlfriend since.


    Mother to three gorgeous little men

  4. #24
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    Yes a few times over the years and I do believe it has shaped the person I am and the friend I am able to be these days. I only recently lost my BF of 12 or so years inexplicably. After I told her I was pregnant with my DS, she started coming by to visit and doing our usual catch ups less and less often. By the time I was 6 months pregnant I hardly heard from her and not long after she drifted off. She has never met my now 6 month old son. She never came to the hospital with flowers like I had always imagined would happen when we one day got our $hit together and had kids. She never called or messaged. She simply left a congratulations on my Facebook birth announcement amongst all the others. Not a peep since.

    I have spent countless hours wondering why and made myself sick over it. I can only think that I made her feel left out somehow? What she never knew because she didn't give me the chance was that I was struggling towards the end of my pregnancy with GD and severe swelling that made it hard to function. I simply was just getting by day to day. I've not heard from her and I miss her. Some would say why don't I contact her but the way I see it is, I had a baby and she should I've come to see me and meet my bubba. I don't feel like I should have to put out the olive branch.

    I would say now I'm done with trying to be friendly. I'm done being hurt and I just don't have the capacity to try again or to trust anymore. I'm focused on my son and my family these days. My walls suit me just fine.

  5. #25
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    Wise Enough I appreciate the offer but I really don't want to know or anyone to really. I think it would upset me and I know myself, even though I know I've done nothing wrong I think the fact that he was upset with me enough to not want to talk to me anymore without a word would play on my mind.
    I would feel worried that I'm giving the wrong impression or something. It's a can of worms I just don't want to open.

    I'm satisfied that I haven't done anything to deserve being abandoned like that so i'm just going to leave it there I think.

  6. The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to KaraB For This Useful Post:

    VicPark  (09-10-2014),Wise Enough  (09-10-2014)

  7. #26
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    Quote Originally Posted by KaraB View Post
    Wise Enough I appreciate the offer but I really don't want to know or anyone to really. I think it would upset me and I know myself, even though I know I've done nothing wrong I think the fact that he was upset with me enough to not want to talk to me anymore without a word would play on my mind.
    I would feel worried that I'm giving the wrong impression or something. It's a can of worms I just don't want to open.

    I'm satisfied that I haven't done anything to deserve being abandoned like that so i'm just going to leave it there I think.
    Sorry I should have put a winky face after my offer. I'm not actually expecting you to send it to me (though I would totally read it like a gossip mag!).

    You went through so much with the baby and your ex being a to$$er, your friend should have been there for you. When you needed him most be pulled up stumps and abandoned you. Like your ex. Neither are worthy of knowing you.

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    KaraB  (09-10-2014)

  9. #27
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    I have in the past, but I've been the one to cut ties. The trouble is, I don't find it easy to make new good friends, so it just means my friendship circle is getting smaller.

    Friend 1: lived in Melbourne. Ex and I went to melbourne for the weekend. Ex got food poisoning from the plane food. Ex had chronic kidney disease and the dehydration caused his electrolytes to go wacko. He was really really sick. They parked the emergency resus trolley outside of his cubicle because his potassium was dangerously high and they were concerned his heart would start doing weird things. Friend knew we were coming to Melbourne. We had loose plans to meet up for dinner one night. Sent friend a message to let her know what had happened (I took ex to the hospital at like 11pm and we were in emergency most of the night. I didn't go back to the hotel until the following afternoon). I sent her a few messages through the week. I didn't call as she was at work during the day, plus I was spending all my days at the hospital. Never heard from her. No reply, no call, nothing. I even checked my email to see if there was anything there, nothing (before days of Internet on phones). Our 3-4 days in Melb ended up being over a week. My was so upset that I just went nope. Not worth it. Friend is very much focussed on her own needs and wants. Everything is always poor me. (Another friend was going through an episode of major depression, struggling with antidepressants etc and all this girl could talk about to her was how she was destined to be alone, she was never going to find a guy etc etc. didn't even ask how this other friend was going). I couldn't cope anymore.

    Friend 2: we were true besties. We went to school together, played netball together, worked together, heck we even dated the same guy! We went out for a work Christmas party then decided to head into the city. When we were at the local pub deciding what to do we met these 2 guys who were also heading into the city. Decided to share a cab. Friend was flirting madly with one of the guys. Get to the city and we end up following these guys to the casino. One goes to play blackjack, we 3 head down to the pokies for awhile. Get bored, go back up to the blackjack room to wait for the other bloke. Friend and bloke start making out in the corner of the room. I stand there bored for about an hour or so until we give up on the blackjack guy and decide to head home, sharing a cab with make out dude. We get a cab, all 3 of us in the backseat. Friend and bloke are all over each other. I mean hands in inappropriate places etc. We drop him off then head to her place. She then tells me the only reason she didn't go back to his place was because I was staying at her place that night. Never mind that she already had a BF. Things weren't going well and she was going to dump him but they had a holiday planned in a few weeks time, and she didn't want to lose any money so she was waiting til after the holiday to dump the BF. My morals were put to test that night and I just gave up on her. It was probably a bit judgy of me, but I don't want to be around people who think it's ok to treat others that way. As it turns out she's now gay and engaged to another girl. Ah well.

    Long winded I know. Sorry!

  10. #28
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    Quote Originally Posted by Wise Enough View Post
    Sorry I should have put a winky face after my offer. I'm not actually expecting you to send it to me (though I would totally read it like a gossip mag!).

    You went through so much with the baby and your ex being a to$$er, your friend should have been there for you. When you needed him most be pulled up stumps and abandoned you. Like your ex. Neither are worthy of knowing you.
    Thank you. You actually sound like you'd be a great friend to have

    It's weird making friends as an adult. I struggled when I was a child because I had a lot going on and moving a lot.
    Do you think that your childhood experiences of friendships affect your ability to make friends as an adult? I do. I learned to be wary of people because being the new kid I was singled out a lot.

    I've never been one of those people who knows loads of people or makes friends easily despite my sincerity :/ But then I don't get out much. Ok at all lol.
    Last edited by KaraB; 09-10-2014 at 23:20.

  11. #29
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    Last edited by ButterflyMa; 10-10-2014 at 08:00.

  12. #30
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    Last edited by Blue Dragon; 01-01-2015 at 15:03.


 

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