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  1. #11
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    oh yes. a nasty one for me. too long of a story but i'll cut it short:

    My so called best friend who was 8 months pregnant to her hubby - and my hubby at the time decide to get together and have a fling/affair.. nice. After 10 months he decides she isn't the one for him and wants me back. Over my dead body mate. Found out 5 months later my whole group of girlfriends knew about it and said nothing... also after putting up with his abuse it was the icing on the cake. I had a massive breakdown, it was horrendous and it totally changed me 100%.

    I have got walls up to the moon I reckon. And this was 13 years ago.

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    KaraB  (09-10-2014)

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  4. #13
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    Gothel is offline Skip the drama, stay with Mama!
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    Wow there's some horrible stories here, some people can be so nasty! I don't have anything so dramatic but I definitely have the wall up. When my kids were still babies I had a run in with a mum that was very damaging to me. We had been friends for about a year and I thought I knew her quite well, we had confided a lot in each other, spent a lot of time together, the kids were great friends etc. Anyway one day there was an accident, her daughter hurt herself and she blamed me for it ( it wasn't my fault), she ripped into me with all kinds of nasty and I realised that what I thought was a great friendship was just a complete crock. And thinking back I could see the signs too, but I was blind to it at the time, I was very isolated in a new town and needed a friend so I ignored the signs.

    Anyway after that I just don't trust people and I don't trust my own judgement. I'm very fussy who I hang around with, I'd rather be alone than worry about "what you're thinking but not saying" so if someone blows hot and cold on me, cut. *****es about other people, cut. Too opinionated, cut. I can't be bothered dealing with the nasty so I just don't. I have a few people I trust and I'm happy that way, it works for me.

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    KaraB  (09-10-2014)

  6. #14
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    Yes I have. Recently actually. My best friend stopped talking to me for 8 months inexplicably without a word. I was pregnant at the time. I didn't ask him because I assumed he was upset because I didn't have an abortion. He's a bit like that :/ So I thought ok then.

    Last week on my birthday texts me say he regrets not talking to me and to inform me that he's sent me a long winded email explaining why and that I probably wouldn't like it and that if I still wanted to talk afterwards I could contact him. I asked him if it was because I kept my baby- he said no.

    Naturally I didn't appreciate a bombshell on my birthday. So I chose not to read it. I still haven't.

    He explained that he doesn't feel that way anymore (whatever his problem was). But, the damage is done. I'm not going to take his crap on board. I can't. I have enough to worry about without adding more junk to the list.

    I've got used to us not talking.
    I'm focused on my children. I am chatting to him casually a little bit atm about tv shows but the trust is gone. I wont talk about personal stuff with him anymore. I will just drift away I think.. It's a shame because I trusted him and what I loved most was that he was a straight shooter. Oh well :/
    Last edited by KaraB; 09-10-2014 at 17:15.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Minchi View Post
    oh yes. a nasty one for me. too long of a story but i'll cut it short:

    My so called best friend who was 8 months pregnant to her hubby - and my hubby at the time decide to get together and have a fling/affair.. nice. After 10 months he decides she isn't the one for him and wants me back. Over my dead body mate. Found out 5 months later my whole group of girlfriends knew about it and said nothing... also after putting up with his abuse it was the icing on the cake. I had a massive breakdown, it was horrendous and it totally changed me 100%.

    I have got walls up to the moon I reckon. And this was 13 years ago.
    Geez I don't blame you hon! That's really traumatic

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    I am so shocked in reading theses stories I can't believe it I just live in my own little bubble thanks everyone for sharing there stories

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    KaraB  (09-10-2014)

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    I am coming to terms with losing my best friend. There wasn't a specific incident but slowly things got to the point I couldn't call her a friend anymore. Very sad. I've had many sleepless nights thinking about it and talked it over with other close friends to try work out what went wrong but I'm still at a bit of a loss as to why

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    Yes, a few times actually. I'm way too trusting and forgiving. I tend to only notice the good and disregard the warning sides which always ends the same way, me getting hurt.

    Firstly was a friend I met through a mutual friend. We became very close fast and did everything together. Over at one anothers house on weekends, play dates mid week, shopping together etc. Things started to change when I brought another friend of mine onto the scene and they began hanging out and excluding me when I fell pregnant, which originally I wasn't bothered by but did end up causing slight tension. We resolved it and moved on. After I lost the baby I went through a tough time and did isolate myself a bit. One night I got an txt from her inviting us over last minute, I declined as we had other friends over that night and she just blew up on me. Sent me a huge msg saying I'm immature and selfish and she was sick and tired of wasting her time on a friendship where she gave and got nothing in return blah blah blah blah. She told me the whole world didn't revolve around me and everyone else had problems too. I was extremely hurt and upset and it really made me question the person I was, not to mention it was only 2 weeks since our baby died and I was already in a bad place grieving her lose. I knew there had been a shift in our friendship but I had no idea how it had come to this. We didnt talk for about 3 months. She tried to make contact once in that time but it was more like a "have u taken the time to think about what you have done" type msg not an apology which I had expected.

    Anyway in the end I found all the negative energy really made me worse and set me into a deep depression. I ended up contacting her and we sat down for a chat to hash things out. She was going through things that she hadn't told me which is why the whole thing started. She apologised and it was sincere. We are still friends now but its not the same we will never be as close as we were which hurts. I'm glad I reached out to make amends, it was like a massive weight lifted off my shoulders. I forgive her but dont know how much I can trust her now. Dp thinks it makes me weak by letting her in again but I did it for myself not to make her feel better about the way she treated me. It all could have been avoided if she had talked to me and been honest instead of bottling it all up until it exploded.

    Eta: wow..... super long, sorry. And if you made it to the end then congrats!

    Sent from my SM-G900I using The Bub Hub mobile app

  13. #19
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    I've lost a few great friends over the years - some of them my fault and other times theirs.

    I tend to get hurt feelings quite easily if something upsets me. DH and I discussed this not long ago that I tend to just "dump" people who have upset me - rather than contact them and talk about it. I have been quite burned in family life and I think this has made me the way I am.

    A few years ago one of my besties was having trouble with her BF and I talked it over with her and she planned to break up with him (she thought she caught him cheating). Next thing I hear is that she had told him everything I said in our conversation and they stayed together, but he never once came out to dinner/catchup ever again. Our friendship suffered, she took about a month to meet my newborn baby and then called in sick to my DS's 1st birthday. She was meant to come by to visit us following week and never did.
    I still wish for that friendship but we are completely different people now.

    I find it hard to make friends. I love the girls in my mothers group and would love to be bff's with them - but feel they already have their own friends and I am always initiating the catchups.

  14. #20
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    Quote Originally Posted by KaraB View Post
    Yes I have. Recently actually. My best friend stopped talking to me for 8 months inexplicably without a word. I was pregnant at the time. I didn't ask him because I assumed he was upset because I didn't have an abortion. He's a bit like that :/ So I thought ok then.

    Last week on my birthday texts me say he regrets not talking to me and to inform me that he's sent me a long winded email explaining why and that I probably wouldn't like it and that if I still wanted to talk afterwards I could contact him. I asked him if it was because I kept my baby- he said no.

    Naturally I didn't appreciate a bombshell on my birthday. So I chose not to read it. I still haven't.

    He explained that he doesn't feel that way anymore (whatever his problem was). But, the damage is done. I'm not going to take his crap on board. I can't. I have enough to worry about without adding more junk to the list.

    I've got used to us not talking.
    I'm focused on my children. I am chatting to him casually a little bit atm about tv shows but the trust is gone. I wont talk about personal stuff with him anymore. I will just drift away I think.. It's a shame because I trusted him and what I loved most was that he was a straight shooter. Oh well :/
    @KaraB can you forward the email to me to read?? I followed your story and would love to see him try and explain it.

    Totally agree with you about keeping your distance. You don't need that extra drama in your life.


 

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