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  1. #1
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    Default 15mo won't settle with mum

    Hi All, we are having a issue with our 15mo little girl. She used to constantly co sleep like our first did but we are moving to her own bed. We are moving in the right direction but she has decided that she doesn't want to sleep with mum when she moves back into the bed during the night. It would seem that anybody but mum is preferred and she drops off again straight away. Otherwise there is an lot of crying involved, and no sleep. We are at a loss as to what to do and I have to travel for work. She used to be ok, but has recently decided mum is no good for sleeping. I'm open to suggestions as to how to reverse this trend.

  2. #2
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    So does mum have to vacate the bed or does she get in next to you? Has it been a sudden change?

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    Mum doesn't have to vacate the bed, she will happily sleep 10cm from mum as long as someone else is holding her. She can fall asleep by herself, in her own bed and she does. Just at night she will not sleep with mum. It hasn't really been a sudden change, it just seemed to happen over a couple of weeks a while ago.

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    Could just be that she has worked out you are not always there like mum (as you go off to work) and she wants that time with you.

    It was around that age that DS started to get very clingy with DH and often didn't /doesn't want me near them.

    He's fine with me when DH isn't around.

    Honestly if you are trying to transition to her own bed and she can fall asleep in it I'd just concentrate on that and not have her in your bed.

    (Not that I am saying there is anything wrong with co-sleeping, it just sounds like you are wanting to stop).

  5. #5
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    I'm not sure that is wanting to spend time with me. Even when I'm here she isn't the best sleeper. Either in her own cot in her own room or with is she tends to wake reasonably regularly. Usually by 1am when she comes in with us it's just easier to have her there. She is getting better at falling asleep but she still needs someone in the room. Not holding or patting her, just there. This worked well for our first one, he was sleeping in a toddler bed by age two in his room and is now in a full size bed at 3. He very rarely come to find us at night unless he is sick. We were hoping to do the same cosleeping then transition to bed it's just not working as well.

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    I know its not ideal but can you put her bed or a mattress in your room so she can sleep on that whilst still being in the same room

    Sent from my GT-I9305 using The Bub Hub mobile app

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    Your toddler is in the habit of hopping into bed with you, that's why she's waking at 1am. For me, that would be the bigger problem, not the fact that only cuddles from dad would do...

    If it were me I would go cold turkey on your tot coming into bed with you. Perhaps introduce a sticker reward chart... Or if you don't like the cold turkey some type of phased approach... Perhaps one of you could sleep on a mattress on bubs floor for a bit.. Then once bub is sleeping through in the cot, slowly wean back on this (move the parents mattress further away until it is out of the room.

    Good luck

  8. #8
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    I first pushed back the time she could come in with me and had our bed side carred to the cot. Then I held her hand when she woke instead of letting her in with us. Then we put the side up and held her hand through the bars. Then I moved out of her room and it's been fine since. Just try a slow and gradual approach.
    My dd is 13months.


 

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