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  1. #11
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    My hubby has been doing FIFO for about 6 years now. I didn't find it as hard back when we had no children. I kept busy with work and friends. Now we have 2 children, and for me it's definitely more challenging now. Our eldest is 2.5 and youngest is 1.5, and some hitches I feel like I cannot cope with FIFO anymore and wish hubby would be walking in the door of an evening. We are very lucky that he is on an even time roster (3 weeks on 3 weeks off), so we get a good chunk of time with him at home. The family time we have together and the fact that I can continue to be a SAHM makes it really worthwhile for us. Yes I miss him, yes some days it's hard, but when we weigh it up, FIFO works for our family much better than if hubby was working close to home. My hubby loves his job (despite having to be away from us) and went into FIFO as a career change and not just a way for us to get ahead money wise.

    I guess what I'm trying to say is that only you and your partner know if FIFO is really for you and your family. It can take awhile to adjust to it though, so maybe you need to give it a bit more time?

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    HillDweller  (06-10-2014),KitiK  (06-10-2014),Stretched  (06-10-2014)

  3. #12
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    Quote Originally Posted by summastarlet View Post
    I guess what I'm trying to say is that only you and your partner know if FIFO is really for you and your family. It can take awhile to adjust to it though, so maybe you need to give it a bit more time?
    Thanks to everyone who has shared their experiences so far. I guess this is what I'm wondering, how long it typically takes to adjust.

    It sounds like a 50-50 roster makes a big difference too.

  4. #13
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    Quote Originally Posted by Stretched View Post
    Thanks to everyone who has shared their experiences so far. I guess this is what I'm wondering, how long it typically takes to adjust.

    It sounds like a 50-50 roster makes a big difference too.
    I dont really think anyone can say "it will take x amount of time to adjust". Every family and every individual situation is different. Some people might adjust very quickly, yet others it may still be hard months or even years down the track. I think you just learn to deal with it all differently as time goes on.

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  6. #14
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    Quote Originally Posted by lil miss View Post
    I dont really think anyone can say "it will take x amount of time to adjust". Every family and every individual situation is different. Some people might adjust very quickly, yet others it may still be hard months or even years down the track. I think you just learn to deal with it all differently as time goes on.

    Sent from my GT-I9505 using The Bub Hub mobile app
    I agree with this too. When my exH started working FIFO I adjusted really quickly. But I basically went out and lived my life separately from him. This eventually led to the demise of our marriage. With my now DH I don't think either of us will ever really 'adjust'. We have our little routines we do while each other is away but it's still just as hard to say goodbye for 2 weeks now as it was years ago (if not harder).

    I find the best way to adjust as much as you can is to have a routine of what you do each day while they're away (ie, say you go to the gym on the same days each week or do a particular activity on the same days each time) it makes the time go faster. I find having activities or projects I do only when DH is away really helps. That way I'm not sitting around doing what we'd normally be doing, just without him. For me, that makes it seem much worse.

    There are positives though. I find doing FIFO gives you an opportunity to do some romantic things you might not necessarily do if they were here. I slip secret notes in his bag the night before he leaves, we send random texts listing reasons why we love each other, we play a game called "remember when" and send one text a day describing a memory about something we've done or a way the other person made us smile, so we can remember all the good times we've had while we're waiting to be together again. Those sorts of things often get left behind when you're together every day. I find we also just don't argue. An argument is rare for us anyway, he's like water on my fire, but with him doing FIFO, it gives a new meaning to picking your battles. Most little 'annoyances' just don't seem worth arguing over. You've got limited time together, there's no time for stupid fights over some small issue.

  7. #15
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    Quote Originally Posted by HillDweller View Post
    My DH was FIFO when I met him, my ex H was before that too. For the first year DH and I were dating it was fine, we missed each other a lot but we both dealt with it. Fast forward almost 4 years and, well, there are starting to he more cons than pros for us now, especially on the 2/1 roster he does.

    We are extremely close and I still love the excited feelings we get to have on fly in day and he spends all of his time with me when he's home - we basically lock ourselves away from the world! But it's getting harder and harder each swing when he leaves, not easier. It's difficult for him to find a job in Perth doing what he's doing, but we've made a decision between us that next year he will find a job with a shorter roster or come back to Perth anyway.

    I don't know whether it's always a black and white "right for us" / "wrong for us" situation. If it's causing major problems in your marriage and either of you are very unhappy with the situation, then it's best to give it away. I find I have some swings where I miss him desperately and we both wish we weren't doing this, and others where it's not so bad. Usually it depends a lot for me on whether something is going wrong at home and I feel like I don't want to deal with it myself.
    Alot of this pretty much sums up what it was like for dh and I. He is having a break from FIFO now since being made redundant and us expecting another bub but he may return to FIFO next year. We have an amazing and close relationship and I coped just fine on my own juggling work, the household and the kids. Love the excitement when he was due to fly home etc.

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  9. #16
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    Quote Originally Posted by Kimberleygal1 View Post
    . Love the excitement when he was due to fly home etc.
    I still get prettied up on fly in day like I'm going on our first date, complete with those "just met" nerves!

    I'm going to spend time thinking about that and all those positives right now, since DH flew out this morning and last night was just one of those times where it feels extra difficult and emotional 😞

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  11. #17
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    Quote Originally Posted by HillDweller View Post
    I still get prettied up on fly in day like I'm going on our first date, complete with those "just met" nerves!

    I'm going to spend time thinking about that and all those positives right now, since DH flew out this morning and last night was just one of those times where it feels extra difficult and emotional 😞
    So do I by the time he lands its after 10pm, he has been flying all day so I figure he appreciates not seeing me looking like **** lol. Also I make sure the house is clean and tidy on fly in day. Love watching his plane land and feeling all those butterflies and excitement.

    Having said that im usually ready for him to leave again within a day or 2 lol.

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  13. #18
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    My husband has worked away for about 8 years now. We have been together for 14 years so it keeps our relationship fresh. I love it. I find the week so hectic with work and looking after the kids (2 boys) 4 years and 6 months that I couldn't cope having to give attention to someone else. I find that we talk more when he is away because we talk on this phone most nights. I find the vest way to deal with it is to be organised with the kids so I can cope by myself.
    It is getting a bit harder now with my oldest son as he gets upset when dad goes away and that hurts both me and my husband but he is working away to achieve our goals and we know that he will come back to town eventually.


 

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