I have showers that Hades would get burnt in (oh lovely stingy heat. Mmm. Tingly and fuzzy)
I cook enough to feed an army and only ask once what you'd like for dinner - if I cook something you dont want, too bad, make a frraking sammich but the left overs are your lunch tomorrow.
I channel my inner boss(my actual boss) if you **** me off too much. As a consequence you will colourfully be told to suck me off you effing malaka/shut up and go f4ck yourself cause I dont give a f4ck what you're saying.
If you leave sh1t marks in my toilet, ill hunt you down with bleach and a toilet brush. They arent dunny decorations.
Yes, I do have to sleep with a movie on. Dont like it? Theres a couch in the lounge room.
No, I dont like mindless chatter after work. Im talked out. Just shut up.
My bed must be made the right way every time. That is my way. Otherwise ill get sh1tty and strip it and do it again. Dont do that. It ****s me.
My housemate is a guy. We have inappropriate conversations a lot. Most people who first meet us think we're married or at least should be. Dont like it? Suck me off, I dont give a f4ck.
Dont use the last of anything and dont tell me. I dont give a sh1t if you use it, but you'll cop it if you dont tell me or write it on my list.
Dont question my vegetarian-ness. I dont question your meat-eatyness. I make a healthy variety for my housemate and combine meaty food with veg food for all our guests. So stfu or starve. Doesnt bother me any.
If I have to hide in my toilet to get 10 minutes to myself I will lose my sh1t. Im a mostly solitary person. Dont crowed me. It ****s me.
Not even a surface scratch. Explains the singleness I guess. Im impossible. Oo
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