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  1. #1
    Buttoneska's Avatar
    Buttoneska is offline Winner 2010- Most Community Minded Thread Award
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    Default I was never going to be the mum that lost herself

    Fast forward and my boys are about to turn one and two and I feel invisible and a former shell of myself.

    I love them and our life is pretty great but it's just so hard, lonel and isolating.

    Hubby works crazy hrs and it's like Groundhog Day.

    I feel like I exist just to look after them and silently keep our life on track so hubby can fufill his dreams.

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    Hi, I've had many periods of time feeling like that since ds1 (6yr old) was born. I'm studying pt, which can be very difficult but I love it. It's for me and my future. Do you work or study op? It's so hard if you DH works a lot. What about an exercise group? I really find doing something for myself makes the day / week less groundhog like.

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    Redcorset  (04-10-2014)

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    It's so hard when your kids are so young because they require so much attention and looking after
    I don't have any great words of advice, but know it's temporary. I lost myself to diapers and tantrums for a few years, but my kids are older now (youngest starts school next year), and I have a life where in it I'm 'me,' not mother to x, y, and z and it's so nice!

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    Buttoneska is offline Winner 2010- Most Community Minded Thread Award
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    I was just offered a job but we decided I shouldn't take it because of the kids and circumstances. Hubby works slot and we are starting our own business. Businesses is good to keep me busy and challenging but it's not my baby it's his iykwim. Job wasn't a dream job but the break would have been nice v

    Yeh I'm thinking I could focus on getting fit. Good hormones and something for me and time away from kids b

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    If your career has to take a back seat is there other things you can get involved in?

    Through my local Facebook Mum's page I have joined a book club and a walking group, both which meet around 8pm on week nights so after the kids are in bed and DH is home. It's nice to have something just for me.

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    Yeh I'm thinking I could focus on getting fit. Good hormones and something for me and time away from kids b[/QUOTE]

    Definitely helps me. But I still go through periods of feeling like nothing but a cleaner/ cook/ housemaid, etc! At the time I try and remind myself that this too shall pass. It is so hard when they are young. My ds2 is 15 months and j just can't really have a conversation without being interrupted! This forum is great, nice to get some thoughts out. Take care :-)

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    I totally understand. My children are 2.3 years and 11 months and we are trying for another. Yes we want a large family and close together but it can get a bit Groundhog Day. I try to keep myself and kids busy with morning activities as I find the day where we have nothing and just hang at home the worst. Also my husband and I are trying to always make sure I get some time to myself on the weekends, weather to hit the shops or just go out without the kids. I really need the adult interaction so like to go out where I can chat with other mums. Also I enjoy reading, a good book is like being engrossed in another life.

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    Hi OP,

    I have 2 boys, now 2 & 3, 13 months apart and rewind to a year ago I was feeling very much how you are. What made all the difference was having something to break up my week. For me it was working part time and having them in daycare 2 days a week...I felt on top of the world when I would go to work and be just me for the day and I would come home refreshed and appreciative of my crazy, rambunctious and loveable boys.

    IMO it was crucial for my mental well being to have those days to myself!

    Fast forward to now and life just gets easier and easier as they become more independent and I begin to feel more like my former self!

    Hugs

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    Just to clarify...it doesn't need to be a job but just something where you can take time out to just be you and focus on you as a person, not just a mummy!


 

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