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  1. #151
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    Quote Originally Posted by Lincolns mummy View Post
    I have no words for your in laws, both of them.
    I admire both yourself and your husband, you are managing this so well.
    I truly hope he gets what he deserves.
    This. You are both amazingly strong. Massive hugs

  2. #152
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    Quote Originally Posted by Devastated29 View Post
    He has one sister who has no children. I have emailed her and she has not replied. FIL has called her and of course would have told her lies. I asked her in the email if she has read the article but didn't go into any details at all. MIL said to me "SIL doesn't want to read the article so I would appreciate if you don't talk to her about it". That's how we got in contact this morning.

    Would your dh be able to talk to your SIL? Maybe then it wouldn't come out as you being the bad guy and she'd believe it more if her brother told her about it?

    I'm so sorry about this entire thing. I originally told u to cut your mil some slack, but having read the entire thread, I agree wholeheartedly that you need to cut them off.

    I can't imagine what you're going thru. I think in some ways it's worse than dying unexpectedly and never having the opportunity to say goodbye.

    Hugs to you all xoxo

  3. #153
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    Quote Originally Posted by misho View Post
    Would your dh be able to talk to your SIL? Maybe then it wouldn't come out as you being the bad guy and she'd believe it more if her brother told her about it?
    Yes he's going to, I think maybe he will wait until we've spoken to the police and has solid facts for her. I really feel for her.

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  5. #154
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    Quote Originally Posted by Devastated29 View Post
    He has one sister who has no children. I have emailed her and she has not replied. FIL has called her and of course would have told her lies. I asked her in the email if she has read the article but didn't go into any details at all. MIL said to me "SIL doesn't want to read the article so I would appreciate if you don't talk to her about it". That's how we got in contact this morning.

    DH has several cousins though with children who have spent lots of time with him too. There has been many family gatherings with a room full of small children. It's horrifying.
    Oh dear, it sounds like MIL in on damage control.

    Have you gotten in contact with any of the extended family?
    With SIL going silent and MIL acting as FIL's lawyer it must be very frustrating that everyone is just watering down the seriousness of what's happened.

  6. #155
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    Quote Originally Posted by Liddybugs View Post
    Oh dear, it sounds like MIL in on damage control.

    Have you gotten in contact with any of the extended family?
    With SIL going silent and MIL acting as FIL's lawyer it must be very frustrating that everyone is just watering down the seriousness of what's happened.
    This is precisely the reason that we are getting in touch with police so we know for fact what has happened. With the full truth in our pocket will be able to defend with ease our decision to cut them out. We haven't gotten in contact with anyone yet, I think we will wait until we speak to the police.

    DH is on the phone to FIL at the moment. FIL messaged him this afternoon saying "instead of devasted29 and MIL texting, how about I call you tonight and we can discuss it ourselves". Wow, a novel idea FIL to actually speak to your son about what's happened. We spoke at length before he made the call, going over everything that has happened and the fact that he would try to guilt him and likely try to convince him that I am being hysterical. Amazing how he has only bothered to make an effort now that they know we will be talking to the police huh? They really must think we are idiots.

    Broken hearted for DH. He is fully prepared that this will most likely be the last time he speaks to his father.

  7. #156
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    I have no advice ... but my heart goes out to you that what you thought was your reality has been taken away from you... I can't even imagine the thoughts you'd have swirling through your head and unsettling your stomach. Take care x

  8. #157
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    Quote Originally Posted by Devastated29 View Post
    This is precisely the reason that we are getting in touch with police so we know for fact what has happened. With the full truth in our pocket will be able to defend with ease our decision to cut them out. We haven't gotten in contact with anyone yet, I think we will wait until we speak to the police.

    DH is on the phone to FIL at the moment. FIL messaged him this afternoon saying "instead of devasted29 and MIL texting, how about I call you tonight and we can discuss it ourselves". Wow, a novel idea FIL to actually speak to your son about what's happened. We spoke at length before he made the call, going over everything that has happened and the fact that he would try to guilt him and likely try to convince him that I am being hysterical. Amazing how he has only bothered to make an effort now that they know we will be talking to the police huh? They really must think we are idiots.

    Broken hearted for DH. He is fully prepared that this will most likely be the last time he speaks to his father.
    Stay strong!

  9. #158
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    Not sure if this is a crazy idea or not but DH has made the comment his parents have died. Can you hold a memorial serious for closure?

  10. #159
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    You guys are amazing. I mean that! I don't think I could keep it together as well as you have. Just keep swimming.

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  12. #160
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    If your convicted FIL ends up in prison because he breached an order by being around your children, then the only person responsible for that outcome is FIL. He is the paedofile. He chose to breach the order (if that's the case) knowing the consequences.

    If MIL can't see that the victim here is not FIL and that he (and he alone) is responsible for his actions, then that's not your problem to deal with right now. Your only focus right now is looking after you, DH and your children.

    You and DH have done nothing wrong. Don't let others victim blame and make their problems your problem.
    Last edited by clbj; 10-10-2014 at 22:42.

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    amum21  (11-10-2014),atomicmama  (12-10-2014),harvs  (10-10-2014),Jodes35  (11-10-2014),KitiK  (12-10-2014),Mum2DandR  (10-10-2014),penny92  (11-10-2014),Pheonx  (13-10-2014),Qwerty  (11-10-2014)


 

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