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  1. #131
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    Oh my god OP what a horrible passive aggressive thing to say to someone who is trying to protect their own children and family.
    I can't believe your MILs stance on all this

    Big hugs, you're doing the right thing.

  2. #132
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    And whether you decide to talk to the police or not is irrelevant, I'm sure they would come talk to you sooner or later anyway.

  3. #133
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    Quote Originally Posted by Devastated29 View Post
    I spoke to MIL briefly this morning. I said I'd been advised to talk to the police to know the whole truth and find out if our kids have been implicated. She said "well I guess if you do that FIL will go to prison". So I am gathering from that he was not supposed to be around children all of this time. I am horrified. Also horrified but not surprised that she is placing guilt on me.
    W.T.F?



    That's just wrong.
    I can't even....

    I would still make contact with police, it's essential really.
    She should be feeling guilt, not trying to make you feel it.




    *Edited, for some reason half of what I wrote went missing*

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  5. #134
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    Quote Originally Posted by Devastated29 View Post
    I spoke to MIL briefly this morning. I said I'd been advised to talk to the police to know the whole truth and find out if our kids have been implicated. She said "well I guess if you do that FIL will go to prison". So I am gathering from that he was not supposed to be around children all of this time. I am horrified. Also horrified but not surprised that she is placing guilt on me.
    Please please go to the police. Don't let this monster and his monster of a wife talk you out of it.
    I know you loved them and will find it hard. I implore you to speak for the children.

    I am in awe of your and your dh strength so far please don't talk to them again. Go straight to the police.

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  7. #135
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    Quote Originally Posted by anewme View Post
    Please please go to the police. Don't let this monster and his monster of a wife talk you out of it.
    I know you loved them and will find it hard. I implore you to speak for the children.

    I am in awe of your and your dh strength so far please don't talk to them again. Go straight to the police.
    This, don't feel guilt this woman is just as sick as her husband and also needs help

  8. #136
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    Quote Originally Posted by Devastated29 View Post
    I spoke to MIL briefly this morning. I said I'd been advised to talk to the police to know the whole truth and find out if our kids have been implicated. She said "well I guess if you do that FIL will go to prison". So I am gathering from that he was not supposed to be around children all of this time. I am horrified. Also horrified but not surprised that she is placing guilt on me.
    Wow. Just, wow. That is messed up!

    When I posted earlier about my grandmother and why she stayed with my grandfather after she knew what he had done, I will say that she also went to great lengths to ensure that no child was ever left alone with him and that he had next to no interactions with children at all.

    Your MIL doesn't seem to think that there is any reason to protect children from FIL, and that anyone who does try to protect the children is out to hurt your FIL!?!?

    I'm so sorry Devestated29, this situation is just so messed up and sad Hugs x

    Sent from my GT-I9195T using The Bub Hub mobile app

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  10. #137
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    Thanks everyone, I will absolutely 100% be going to the police. I won't say it's an easy decision to make, but I couldn't live with myself knowing I was keeping him out when he deserves to be in. I could not withhold information. It would make me no better than them.

    I've just called DH and he is beyond disgusted. He said "this is the week my parents have died".

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  12. #138
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    Sorry, I know you have mentioned it before, but how many siblings dose DH have?
    If they have children are they also going to the police?

    I can understand you DH feeling as though they have died, it really dose feel like that.
    When my dad did what he did I remember feeling the same.

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  14. #139
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    He has one sister who has no children. I have emailed her and she has not replied. FIL has called her and of course would have told her lies. I asked her in the email if she has read the article but didn't go into any details at all. MIL said to me "SIL doesn't want to read the article so I would appreciate if you don't talk to her about it". That's how we got in contact this morning.

    DH has several cousins though with children who have spent lots of time with him too. There has been many family gatherings with a room full of small children. It's horrifying.

  15. #140
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    I won't be in contact with MIL at all in any way anymore. We're done.

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