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  1. #121
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    Glad to hear SD surgery went well.
    Im really sorry you are in this situation.
    Your mil must be groomed/brain washed by your fil for her to think that this is no major thing as what straight thinking person would think that's ok???

    Sent from my GT-I9195T using The Bub Hub mobile app

  2. #122
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    Quote Originally Posted by Devastated29 View Post
    All went really well, they managed to remove the whole tumour when initially they thought they would have to leave some behind so that's great! Apparently she had a rough night but is much better this morning and might even move out of ICU today which is earlier than planned for. I wish I could go and see her but with a baby and a toddler we'll have to wait until she's feeling a lot better. I made up a big care pack for her though which DH will take in with him today.

    DH will be telling SD's mum today about FIL/MIL too which is going to be really hard for him and her of course. They are completely delusional. MIL got in touch with DH yesterday asking about the surgery and said "we're going to call SD's mum tomorrow and let her know what's happened and we'll visit SD in hospital on Saturday". They actually think they will be seeing SD?!? DH won't allow it and I can assure you once her mum knows they will never see her again! It's just shocking how cavalier they are being about it. I can't believe it.

    We're going to try and see the police next week and DH is going to get in touch with his old therapist today or tomorrow. Slow and steady.
    With his background, history and 'interests' combined with her lack of protecting your kids from him you have an awesome chance of getting a long term order to keep him from having any contact or her engaging in anything on his behalf. See if they can get an interim one in place to keep them away from the hosp. Word up the nurses too keep him out (you don't have to say why just say 'police are involved'). Good luck!!!!

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  4. #123
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    Thinking of you and your family ❤️
    I am shocked at the MIL supporting him but perhaps she is being manipulated or in denial. I wouldn't want him around your family ever again.

  5. #124
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    Thanks so much everyone the support is so wonderful. DH is on his way home from the hospital now and I'm dying to know how everything went.
    @Que Sera, once again your advice has been so incredibly helpful, thank you x

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    BettyW  (09-10-2014),Chillies  (09-10-2014),Mod-Uniquey  (09-10-2014),Que Sera  (09-10-2014)

  7. #125
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    Quote Originally Posted by meredithgrey View Post
    Agree with this. They'd also be able to put a block on her room/bed phone (if theres one) and be super vigilant with monitoring visitors.

    I'm unsure as to how old your SD is and if she knows (sorry have missed a few pages), but I'd make it clear that her grandparents care about her but are unable to visit because of adult problems or something (obviously make explanation age and situation appropriate). You don't want to end up with more feelings of hurt and confusion about why her grandparents haven't come to visit her etc.
    This is exactly DH's conundrum. He didn't end up telling SD's mum tonight as he said she was so tired (she is staying at the hospital with SD) he wanted to let her have a decent sleep tonight instead of hitting her with such a big blow. He's going to tell her in the morning. SD will be incredibly upset if they don't visit but DH doesn't want to tell her something so horrible when she's so unwell. She's a few weeks off 17 so he doesn't know whether telling a white lie is an option. The timing just could not be worse.

  8. #126
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    Every option sucks.

  9. #127
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    Devastated I just wanted to pop in and say how amazing you and your dh are handling the situation.

    I think SD will understand down the track if you have to tell her a white lie now.

    I hope everything's gone okay with your sil.

  10. #128
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    I think if I was 17 I'd want to know and handle the true story. Whether I'd be able to handle it though that's another question but really who can handle such a massive blow

    Good luck OP. Very happy your SD surgery went well and recovery is going great. That's a great good news and all that matters.

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  12. #129
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    No advice, just best wishes for you all as you work through this awful awful mess. I hope you can get the help and support you need. You seem so strong in your posts, but I can only imagine how gutted (and furious) you and DH are feeling.

  13. #130
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    I spoke to MIL briefly this morning. I said I'd been advised to talk to the police to know the whole truth and find out if our kids have been implicated. She said "well I guess if you do that FIL will go to prison". So I am gathering from that he was not supposed to be around children all of this time. I am horrified. Also horrified but not surprised that she is placing guilt on me.


 

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