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  1. #91
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    What a horrible, horrible situation you and your family are in. There has been so much good advice here on this thread, and I have nothing really to add. Except that I agree with those who have posted about your MIL, she may seem like a wonderful person, but she has chosen to stick with her husband. And that right there is enough reason to not trust her anymore.

    Massive hugs, I really hope that you guys get some counselling and can move on. What an absolute mess.

  2. #92
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    PS- have a read up of co-dependency in a relationship and see if it sounds like it is your MIL. I was reading about it yesterday and it made me think of people in my past - like a light-bulb going on.

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    Devastated29  (07-10-2014)

  4. #93
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    I'm so sorry you and your little family have been exposed to this hideousness. If it were me and she was my MIL we would no longer see or speak. If she knew what he was up to and yet still allowed you to expose your precious children to him then she is NO better than him.
    What must she have been thinking in her head to welcome your children into her home when she KNEW that he was a threat. You just don't get a second chance once a child has become a victim. There is no way in hell she would ever see my children again. She is as bad as him.
    I'm sorry your life has been turned upside down but now is the time to protect you, your children and your husband from those evil people.

  5. #94
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    *please do not quote, I might come back later and delete*
    Last edited by Liddybugs; 08-10-2014 at 08:54.

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  7. #95
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    I'm sorry you're in this situation fil sounds like a very sick twisted person

  8. #96
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    Quote Originally Posted by Devastated29 View Post
    MIL is holding on to the fact that as far as we know he hasn't physically abused anyone; she said to me "he has never harmed a child - it was all fantasy". I told her I disagreed and that all the children in the videos and photos he was looking at and sharing were harmed and abused and forever changed at the hands of someone and he supported and revelled in that. Is he really much better?!? It's just crushing.
    Good on you. Keep up the reality checks for her and stand your ground.

    This loser directly created a market for it by looking it up, he perpetuated the evil by his subsequent actions. Highly HIGHLY likely that this is only the tip of the iceberg with him, although it is common for spouses to go through denial as it has serious implications on them to admit they knew of or suspected it. They are trying to play it down to save face. To say she 'never knew' would also be unlikely, being as close to the offender as she is, this stuff is never out of the blue.

    Having his name in the media is a good thing, he has to face the music. His reputation has gone. He will come up in Google searches for a long time to come. No escaping it! If he has victims, they may come forward. His name is now mud. Not yours, or your DH's..... HIS.

    I am hoping that for the sake of your family that there haven't been any incidents. In the meantime, get professional support in place. It will help you recover from this plus it will put a safety net in place should anything else surface down the track.

    Don't be afraid, stand tall, protect your kids and walk through it together with your loved ones. You are doing a great job. You are tougher than what you give yourself credit for.

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  10. #97
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    Quote Originally Posted by Devastated29 View Post
    MIL is holding on to the fact that as far as we know he hasn't physically abused anyone; she said to me "he has never harmed a child - it was all fantasy". I told her I disagreed and that all the children in the videos and photos he was looking at and sharing were harmed and abused and forever changed at the hands of someone and he supported and revelled in that. Is he really much better?!? It's just crushing.
    Op I am so sorry.

    I just wanted to touch on this point.
    Fil has harmed children. He has hurt/harmed his own child your dh. His actions have done damage to both him, you and your kids. He has abused you all too maybe not sexaully but certainly emotionally.

    I agree that he hurt those kids in the pic and movies as much as if actually touched them. He cause the market for them.

    That he has fantasized about your child is harmful to you all.

    Your mil has abused you all too. Knowingly allowing him near your kids after she knew he had fantasized about abuse them. Is abuse. In my opinion she should face charges too. If she knew he was on a court order not to be around kids and allowed him near children and even more unbelievable his fanatsy children.

    Please contact the police soon. They need to know that they broke that order.

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  12. #98
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    Cut them both off...grieve the relationship you thought existed but they should be dead to you now. You can choose your family and these people should no longer be your family. If your mil has been manipulated etc that is her issue for her to work out and no longer your concern. Your priority is your husband and your children and ensuring they are never exposed to these people again.

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  14. #99
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    Quote Originally Posted by anewme View Post
    Op I am so sorry.


    Please contact the police soon. They need to know that they broke that order.
    No order in place. Only just had sentencing hearing and matter released to the media.

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    LoveLivesHere  (07-10-2014)

  16. #100
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    Quote Originally Posted by Que Sera View Post
    No order in place. Only just had sentencing hearing and matter released to the media.
    Sorry I thought there was a order from her op post. Something about not being allowed to be around minors.
    Anyhow I am sorry op if I misunderstood.


 

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