I'm a hubber undercover. I just need to talk about what's happening in my family and feel unable to talk to anyone in real life just yet.
DH and I have two young children and he also has an older child from a previous relationship. We have a close relationship with his parents, sister and extended family. We are a normal, happy family.
Earlier in the year FIL told us he had gotten into some trouble with police over talking to what he thought was a 17yr old girl online who actually turned out to be an undercover police officer. He told us about it immediately as he wasn't allowed to be around minors while it was investigated. He was very forthcoming with details, ashamed, embarrassed and sorry. I won't bother going into details but from what he told us it was taken out of context, misunderstood etc and there was no case against him or anything. Basically said it was all a big mistake and had been dealt with as such by the police. MIL supported this story and we had no reason to not believe them. He was going to counselling etc to deal with the anxiety that had led to it in the first place.
We have found out today that this story was fabricated. They had to tell us something as FIL was not allowed to be around minors, that was true. But the reason is because he was caught by undercover police officer sharing child pornography, discussing fantasies about child sex acts etc. His computer was seized and a large amount of child pornography was found on it. Lots of history of online searching etc.
DH has not read the article yet as he can't bring himself to know the details. I am devastated. I'm not only devastated that FIL is capable of this but I cannot believe they were going to try to hide this from us. Prior to this I would have been BEYOND happy to leave my children in his care. I had zero indication that he was this way inclined. Zero. I like to think I am a good judge of character. There is a close knit, lovely, intelligent, funny and social extended family who I imagine are equally as shocked by this news.
I feel physically ill and have been shaking all morning. DH wants to wait until the kids are in bed tonight before he reads the article which I completely understand. We will be able to talk about it then but I just needed to get it out! I am in shock. I don't want FIL in my life anymore and I am so furious and shocked that MIL would keep this from us. I understand how hard this must be for her but there are children involved. I can't even think straight, I just can't put into words how huge of a shock this is. I never thought this could happen to my family. How do I tell people? How do I explain to my older child why we won't be seeing FIL anymore? How do I help DH get through this? I can't imagine how he must be feeling.