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  1. #1
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    Default "Spin off" At what age do you allow sleep overs?

    Without derailing VP,s stranger in the house thread it got me thinking - I would love DS to have sleep overs like I did when I was at school at his friends houses ( he's only 3 and so far he's only ever stayed over at mums ) and I assumed it was still the norm but do people still do/allow sleep overs at friends houses and what are your rules and at what age did your child have their first sleep over or will you not allow it?

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    I don't have a magic age; it all depends on the child's maturity level, how well I know the other family, and when the opportunity arises (ie my 7yo has so far not been asked to a sleepover). He's also a mummy's boy that still crawls into my bed at night, so I'm not sure how he'd go.
    My 9yo has been to a few sleepovers, at 2 different friends houses I think. One family is just perfect so I have no qualms about that. The other I thought was great however the last time she went to a sleepover there DD told me that when they woke up the mum had gone to the gym So that was a bit iffy.
    11yo has been to lots of sleepovers at one friends house only. The parents are fine. They have 2 teenage kids who also have friends over regularly, so there is the issue of having 18/19yo's in the house that I don't know, but I can't live my life in fear, I just have to trust that the parents are competent enough to keep everyone safe and happy.

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    8yo DD is going for her first non-family sleep-over tomorrow for her classmates 8th birthday. I feel totally fine with it. I don't know her friends father, but I do know her mother and feel completely comfortable. Her friend has two little sisters who will obviously be there and there will also be a couple of other girls from her class going as well.

    Honestly, I'm very excited for her, she's going to have a blast

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    Perhaps my opinion will change as my kids get older, who knows.

    I'm not comfortable with sleepovers until my kids know how to identify predatory behavior ... And fight it off. So probably 30.

    I'm not comfortable with sleepovers in my home, that's mainly because kids annoy me (a whole other thread!)

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    My boys are turning 6 in a fortnight and have had sleepovers at my parents farm since age two. Never at the il's because I don't trust bil.
    They have a sleepover at sil's house every school holidays, and have Dow for the last 18 months or so.

    I was thinking I letting them each pick one friend to sleep over for their birthday instead of a party, but now this thread has me wondering if their parents would allow it...

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    Yes. DD1 has been having sleepovers with close friends since she was 3. That's very unusual though.

    DD2 is 5 and isn't ready yet.

    We don't have family here so they don't get that experience.

    In preprimary or year 1 I allow it if I know the family well. From year 2 DD1 started getting invited to lots of sleepover parties and she loved them.

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    FWIW this is one of those topics on Bubhub that leaves me scratching my head.

    The general consensus on here based on past threads in the same vein is not before high school, if ever, nor can they walk to school until high school, and as for being left alone at home, forget it until they're 14 or 15.

    But then fine with marrying and having babies from 20 or 21.

    How these kids are supposed to develop the maturity between then and starting their own families is beyond me

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    I never had an age in mind but it turned out that DD and DS1 were both six when they went on sleepovers for the first time. We've had lots of kids come for sleepovers from that age too. It seems to be the done thing where we live

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    DD1 had a sleepover first time at the end of preschool so she was 5 the family are good friends of ours and she has had a few sleepovers there.

    This year she is in yr1 at school and has been to 3 sleepover parties


 

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