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  1. #81
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    Quote Originally Posted by VicPark View Post
    ..... I just can't reconcile myself with this. There are plenty of ways to educate your children in the ways of the world... It's not hard... I find it a little absurd to suggest that unless a kid is allowed to go on sleepovers/overnight excursions before 11 that they won't be ready to tackle the world at 18.
    But if my child only ever sleeps in her own bed or with her parents in the same house as her, how will she cope being on the other side of the world sleeping by herself?
    It may sound absurd, but based on the people I know and the over protectiveness of their parents (which is not a dig, I am over protective about certain things as well) I do think that learning to sleep away from your family is an important part of developing independence.

    I had a great childhood, great parents, easy going life style. My mum was pretty over protective (but not extreme...she had extremely over protective parents and wasn't allowed to do anything and I know my mum tried very hard to not let it stop us from preventing things) but when I talk to people I have met in my life and heard everything they experienced because they went out in the world and really experienced it, I know that overall my life has been really boring (I'm content in my life, but I can't help but feel a bit envious I don't have these cool stories to share)....when they talk about their childhood it was vastly different to mine....far more freedom to do things at much younger ages. I can't help but wonder if my sheltered childhood did hold me back in the 'spreading of my wings.' I haven't mentioned this to my parents at all, because my childhood really was great, but my mum apologizes for not 'allowing' us to do more and encouraging us to spread our wings further, so I believe that she is aware that she possibly held us back.
    The world is a scary place, there's no doubt about it, and when my kids were babies I used to tell people (jokingly) that they'd be flowers in the attic (wthout the abuse and incest) and would live with me forever! But I am watching my oldest push so much for her independence and I have to let go and do things I'm not super comfortable with so she can pave her own way in the world.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Party of Three View Post
    But if my child only ever sleeps in her own bed or with her parents in the same house as her, how will she cope being on the other side of the world sleeping by herself? .
    I could think of a million and one ways to prep a child for this scenario.... Surely you can think of a few too?

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    Just a side question - what do you say when your kids ask if they can have a sleep over/go to camp/walk home from school etc do you tell them why you won't allow it ( fear of abusers?) or what reason do you give? ( especially if other kids are doing it )

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    Quote Originally Posted by Elijahs Mum View Post
    Just a side question - what do you say when your kids ask if they can have a sleep over/go to camp/walk home from school etc do you tell them why you won't allow it ( fear of abusers?) or what reason do you give? ( especially if other kids are doing it )
    It depends on the kids age. As with anything you explain things in an age appropriate manner.

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    Oh I agree but are we making our kids too paranoid and raising their anxiety levels because they pick up on ours ? Or is it a good thing to have your child also worry about these things?

    I want DS to be aware and educate him at age appropriate levels without scaring him or making him worry unnecessarily , I want him to be cautious and carefree at the same time! When someone figures that out let me know!

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    atomicmama  (04-10-2014),Full House  (04-10-2014),Starfish30  (04-10-2014),VicPark  (04-10-2014)

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    Quote Originally Posted by VicPark View Post
    I could think of a million and one ways to prep a child for this scenario.... Surely you can think of a few too?
    Sleepovers, camps, short holidays with their friend's family (if invited)...they're on my list of ways but I interested to know what the other 998 000 are (serious, what other ways do you propose? The more prepared my kids are for adventures the better IMO).

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    Quote Originally Posted by Elijahs Mum View Post
    Oh I agree but are we making our kids too paranoid and raising their anxiety levels because they pick up on ours ? Or is it a good thing to have your child also worry about these things?

    I want DS to be aware and educate him at age appropriate levels without scaring him or making him worry unnecessarily , I want him to be cautious and carefree at the same time! When someone figures that out let me know!
    We just talk about it at random times, rather than focus on it just before they go off to do something. And then, if they are doing something I'm a bit concerned about, I might just have a 'random' talk a couple of days before hand, and then on the day of just a gentle reminder (remember, if you feel uncomfortable in a situation do whatever you can to get out of it....of course this is for an older child).
    I started really young with my kids, what is and isn't okay is drilled in to their brains and we talk about how sometimes someone might want to do bad things to you and they'll tell you you will get in trouble if you say anything but you won't etc. We have a special password, so my kids all know that if someone they don't know tells them mummy and daddy have been in an accident and asked this person to get them that they must know the password, and if they don't they run (back in to school, to their closest friends house (we are surrounded by people we know) and yell out that they need help as they are running etc. I won't be sitting my child down before she goes off to camp and talking about child molestors....I'll remind her to always go with a friend to the toilet, and to take one with her when she goes etc. etc.

  9. #88
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    Buttoneska is offline Winner 2010- Most Community Minded Thread Award
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    We have the book everybody has a bottom in circulation with the other books. Good starting point

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    Also don't want some strange dude taking a **** in my house the next morning!

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    Abuse can happen anywhere. For example at the doctor. When the kid is going by herself, as she is already teenager (14). Not necessarily will tell the parents (shy, ashamed, etc...)


 

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