My parents were involved in many groups that had people from overseas visit. They usually stayed at our place. It was never given a second thought.
Interesting thread and not something I had given a lot of thought to before now.
We've had a few people stay who we don't know that well, usually new partners of invited guests (male and female). Instinctively perhaps, I always move DD into my bedroom when that happens (your house layout sounds similar to mine VicPark.)
My family were VERY blasé about all this. We would always be camping, staying in houses with lots of relatives, bit of a free for all. Except once we were in a remote town staying in a guesthouse with this strange couple. My mum and dad had a room, and me and my siblings were in a campervan outside. (I know...wtf). I was reading or doing something by myself while the adults were getting drunk elsewhere in the house and the unknown bloke proceeded to hit on me. I was maybe 15. Think he was in his 30's. I took off and bolted the door on the campervan and made sure my siblings were safe with me. I won't be taking those chances when I have kids...I don't want them to feel unsafe. Very interesting topic to think on.
No. I won't have any strangers stay over in our house. We had a friend hint to stay for a weekend with his new partner and I told him that it would make me uncomfortable having a stranger in my home. This is OUR home. Why should we be made to feel uncomfortable and/or unsafe in it?
ETA: This also applies to people I do know! I hate having people stay over! The only exceptions are my sisters and mum because I don't care how messy my house is and they always help out.
Last edited by BlackDiamond; 04-10-2014 at 07:41.
Firstly, if she's a friend, then history or not I'd be happy for her yo stay at my house and bring her guest. It's not like DS would ever be alone with this person as he sleeps with me. I'd pop out the wine and have a good catch-up and enjoy!
I would always let the friend and her guest stay, no question about that.
But this thread has made me think a bit. Our guest room is right next to our son's room. Someone could easily go into his room and although I'm a light sleeper, I might not hear anything. I'm not one to assume every man is a potential predator (and it irks me on their behalf that some do) but it is food for thought. Maybe I would leave my bedroom door open, or maybe I would bring him into bed with me. Food for thought. If he was a total reprobate I would not hesitate to say he wouldn't stay here though.
The Dr Phil "stats" (which source is it even from!) refers to men who live in the house with the mother, not random one night visits.
Big fat no, not going to happen.
I would have no problem having a friend bring her partner to stay even if I hadn't met him. I trust my friends and their judgement in people.
I don't perceive every random male to be a someone I need to be wary of, I believe that is a very sad way to live.
Although speaking honestly I know I am always wary of any stranger around DS, but all that means is that I keep DS close to me around strangers, not avoiding them 'just in case'. I think it's perfectly reasonable to have a friend's guest come into my home yet be wary of them at the same time without assuming the worst up front and denying them access. The chance of them being a perfectly trustworthy human is far greater than the chance they are out to harm my child.
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