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  1. #51
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    Honestly I'm not sure. I had a friend stay over with her bf (I had never met him) for a few days before I was pregnant. Not sure how I would feel now we have DD but I think it would depend on the friend and how long they had been with the partner. In your situation I don't think I would allow it simply as you said she isn't great at sussing people out and has a history of shady boyfriends.

  2. #52
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    Quote Originally Posted by GM01 View Post
    For those that say flat out 'no', what do you do about school? School camps, excursions etc?
    Good question. I wouldn't be comfortable with my child going on an overnight school excursion until at least 11-12. My sister let my 9 year old niece go on an interstate school excursion and I nearly died.

  3. #53
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    Quote Originally Posted by Qwerty View Post
    Do you mean about our children on a camp with adults with blue cards and known to the organisation? Bit of a long bow.

    Not too much of a long bow, in my opinion. I think it would be naive to think everyone that can pass a working with children check is an angel, it just means they have no prior convictions. Also, depending on the type of camp and age of the kids they can encounter all sorts of third parties that are outside of your control.

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    atomicmama  (03-10-2014),Maia  (04-10-2014),Qwerty  (03-10-2014)

  5. #54
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    Quote Originally Posted by Qwerty View Post
    Do you mean about our children on a camp with adults with blue cards and known to the organisation? Bit of a long bow.
    Do you know how little is done to check the parents who stay at camps? A working with children clearance. That's it. Most organisations are so desperate for people to stay and help they don't really have a lot of choice about who they take.

    And based on what I read on here many of these so called predators wouldn't have a police record.

  6. #55
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    I will elaborate - you are right about the school thing.

    Our house is safe - I always want my children to feel safe in the house and never have to worry about who is staying the night. That is why I would say to no a friend that I am not close with bringing a fairly new bf to stay the night in my home.

    That said - do we then lick our children up? No, it is a calculated risk. That is where I was going with the camp thing. So I'm not saying I'm honing to lock my children up forever - but our house is their safe place.

    I think that more with what I was thinking.

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    Ps kids not in school yet and I only went on 2 school camps and it was all teacher staff from my school.

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    Lock not lick OMG

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  10. #58
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    Quote Originally Posted by Qwerty View Post
    Lock not lick OMG
    Glad you came back on that one!

  11. #59
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    Quote Originally Posted by Qwerty View Post
    I will elaborate - you are right about the school thing.

    Our house is safe - I always want my children to feel safe in the house and never have to worry about who is staying the night. That is why I would say to no a friend that I am not close with bringing a fairly new bf to stay the night in my home.

    That said - do we then lick our children up? No, it is a calculated risk. That is where I was going with the camp thing. So I'm not saying I'm honing to lock my children up forever - but our house is their safe place.

    I think that more with what I was thinking.
    I can see your point and would probably feel the same... you can't eliminate all risks, but you can at least control (or try to control) them in your own backyard, so to speak..

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    I trust nobody. Maybe my mum only. I also know of perpetrators that are relatives and close family friends who take advantage of being trusted by the parents. So knowing someone for a long time actually makes it worse in my opinion because they had more time to groom the parents and the child.

    I honestly don't know how to answer this question. I would be going crazy over mixed feelings about the situation. Blaming myself for just expecting the worse of someone and at the same time worrying for my children's safety.

    And for those who only worry about night time or bedroom or sleep, I know of a perpetrator who would do inappropriate things right in the middle of a dinner party in front of everyone and nobody noticed a thing. There are horrible people out there and they think there is nothing wrong with what they are doing.

    Once you lose your innocence about this stuff there is no going back, I think. Hence the different opinions here. Clearly those who have never been in close contact with this reality seem to be shocked by those of us who don't trust others or expect the worse of people. I understand where they are coming from and sometimes I wish I knew less than what I know.


 

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