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  1. #21
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    God @harvs I feel exhausted just reading that. You poor thing. And your poor DS. He must also be exhausted.

    DD2 was very similar. I remember vividly dreading coming home from hospital after giving birth to DS1 as I had no idea how I would cope with her sleeplessness. She was just under 2 and getting worse. She had night terrors, slept walked, would be awake for 2-3 hours overnight. DH travelled frequently when DS1 was tiny and I dreaded it. I'm ashamed to admit it but one night I'd be up with DS fOr about an hour when she started screaming and carrying on. I had her in my bed and was begging her to go to sleep. I even put my hand over her mouth and for a split second thought I could keep it there and she'd go quiet. Of course j didn't and it terrified me how bad it just have been to actually think suffocating her was better than what we were going through. I took her to GPs, locked her in her room. I did everything.

    In the end she just had to grow out of it.

    DD2 has gone on to prove herself to be an incredibly individual child. She still suffers separation anxiety and is an anxious child, but we know now she is also profoundly gifted and that probably had a lot to do with what she was going through. It was like her mind struggles to ever switch off. She's prone to dramatic mood swings and gets really angry at DH or I if we "fail" her in some way or if she feels she has failed herself.

    I used to say I'd lost the sleep of a thousand newborns in the first 3 years of DD2's life.

    Sorry I haven't any practical tips. I really don't know what works except time.

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  3. #22
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    Quote Originally Posted by Sonja View Post
    God @harvs I feel exhausted just reading that. You poor thing. And your poor DS. He must also be exhausted.

    DD2 was very similar. I remember vividly dreading coming home from hospital after giving birth to DS1 as I had no idea how I would cope with her sleeplessness. She was just under 2 and getting worse. She had night terrors, slept walked, would be awake for 2-3 hours overnight. DH travelled frequently when DS1 was tiny and I dreaded it. I'm ashamed to admit it but one night I'd be up with DS fOr about an hour when she started screaming and carrying on. I had her in my bed and was begging her to go to sleep. I even put my hand over her mouth and for a split second thought I could keep it there and she'd go quiet. Of course j didn't and it terrified me how bad it just have been to actually think suffocating her was better than what we were going through. I took her to GPs, locked her in her room. I did everything.

    In the end she just had to grow out of it.

    DD2 has gone on to prove herself to be an incredibly individual child. She still suffers separation anxiety and is an anxious child, but we know now she is also profoundly gifted and that probably had a lot to do with what she was going through. It was like her mind struggles to ever switch off. She's prone to dramatic mood swings and gets really angry at DH or I if we "fail" her in some way or if she feels she has failed herself.

    I used to say I'd lost the sleep of a thousand newborns in the first 3 years of DD2's life.

    Sorry I haven't any practical tips. I really don't know what works except time.
    I really appreciate this post 🌟

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    And if it helps come on here every day and talk about how you feel. What helped me was having one friend at DD1's school who was a CHN and who would just sit and listen to me when I'd whine. Or cry. Or whatever I needed to do. I felt so alone. We had moved to Perth and I knew no one.

    Also what helped me was having an older child who was my mate and my sanity. I had to keep my sh!t together for her and DS.

    you're not alone in this and if you are really concerned come on here and we'll be your safety net.

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    Can you start in small steps ie no playtime after bedtime. My kids did wake in the night and wanted to play but I would refuse to interact. Just reminded them it was night time and roll over. Repeated disturbances would get them back into their bed. Then they would tantrum (I'd ignore) and when they would calm down I'd offer my bed again but they had to be quiet.

    My aunt successfully used a family bed for her kids and hubby. All five would sleep in one giant bed. But any muck ups the offending child and occ hubby were booted to the other room.

    If you truly feel you will not cope, pop your son in a safe room/playpen. Plug in headphones and sleep. I've done this numerous times.

    wifey of hubby who is always away. mother of two girls who are always amusing.

  7. #25
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    So last night I put him down in his crib but in my room. I'm pretty sure he would have slept through but he had a nasty coughing fit at 4.40 so that was it for the day. His cough is horrible tonight and he only slept for 40 minutes today so he's out like a light tonight but not sure how I'll go. I like the idea of small steps, it all just seems to pointless when he's sick so much.

    I think I will use this thread as my place to whinge and vent if things stay this bad. I do want to clarify I know I would NEVER hurt DS, and I have in the past put ear buds in and slept as I couldn't physically get up to him and he did survive, just in case anyone is thinking of calling DOCS :-)

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    @harvs this could be the biggest disaster in the world but have you ever tried him in a bed?

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    No but I'm thinking about it. His crib can be converted. I know he loves beds because he's in one right now because he just coughed so much he spewed everywhere and he only has one sheet atm. So, lying with his head on my lap as I suffer and starve :-)

    Why do you suggest a bed?

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    Quote Originally Posted by harvs View Post
    So last night I put him down in his crib but in my room. I'm pretty sure he would have slept through but he had a nasty coughing fit at 4.40 so that was it for the day. His cough is horrible tonight and he only slept for 40 minutes today so he's out like a light tonight but not sure how I'll go. I like the idea of small steps, it all just seems to pointless when he's sick so much.

    I think I will use this thread as my place to whinge and vent if things stay this bad. I do want to clarify I know I would NEVER hurt DS, and I have in the past put ear buds in and slept as I couldn't physically get up to him and he did survive, just in case anyone is thinking of calling DOCS :-)
    Vent away, it just feels like life is ruined when you are going through this.
    My DD went through the bad patch when she started daycare too because she was sick constantly for so long and I couldn't get her better as I couldn't get her to drink any medicine, in the end I just didn't even bother with the last dose I thought well if she gets sick enough they can put her in hospital and put her on a drip, I was done done done DONE! She survived. I just had to step out of the mindset that life was going to be like this forever as long as she wouldn't take her meds and the horror of the what felt like never ending vicious circle.

    The worst thing about this is that it feels like there is no end. If you knew he was going to start sleeping through on the 14th October 2014 you would at least have light at the end of the tunnel but the no end in sight is just brutal mentally.

    Good on you Harvs for putting it out there, having a vent and reaching out for support and asking for continual support, you will get through this!

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    all my kids were in a bed by 18 months. DD1 and DS1 were so much more settled once they were in beds. It was a disaster with DD2 so it's not a magic recipe my any means.

    Can you put a bed in his room and try him on day sleeps?

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    We recently put DD into a bed, after a horror month of constant waking and screaming. The final straw for me was when she was having yet another unsettled night and as I was drifting in and out of sleep, with no more than 20 mins between each bout of waking/screaming, and I dreamt that I grabbed her and started shaking her as hard as I could. I was do disturbed by that dream, I thought I just have to do something drastic as there was just NO reason for her to be carrying on so much! Next day we made a huge big deal about her going into a big girls bed and got rid of the cot. We sat her down and had a big serious talk about how she's such a big girl and doesn't need baby things anymore. We then set up a small rewards system (a "present" the next day for each night she stays in her own bed) and lots of reminding and positive reinforcement. A present could equal anything from an extra story to a puzzle out of the top cupboard + helping her assemble it before going to daycare), to wearing her favourite dress, or watching something small on iView.

    She's still far from being a perfect sleeper but it made a BIG difference.


 

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