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  1. #1
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    Default Would you say something or should i just leave it? *Rant* but also want suggestions.

    Would you say something if a friend begged you to go to their house for a play date with their toddler, and even went as far as guilt tripping me by saying how her DS will be very upset and disappointed if we couldn't make it (I wasn't feeling well pregnancy wise - braxton hicks etc) and once you get there and the boys start playing you realise their child is actually pretty sick with a cold or something? Her kid had a ********* snotty nose continuously, sneezing and coughing. He was temperamental ... very in DS face the whole time, very aggressive.

    I asked her how long her DS has been unwell for and she fobbed it off saying its barely anything. Anyways since that catch up my DS has gone down. Running temps... coughing sneezing miserable. Snotty nose. Off his food.... I feel so angry but also feel I am to blame for not just packing up and leaving as soon as i saw her kid so unwell. But i hate to say it, since i have become more heavier pregnant I don't seem to be wanting to get into it with anyone right now. I should have just left, but that is quite a statement to make and no doubt would have angered her.

    I drove 50 mins to get there so felt silly leaving after about 30 mins. I know i am to blame for staying.. but i thought it was a unwritten rule to not invite people over when you're sick? Or go to their house? Would you say something or just let it go? There are other things about this friend that have made me realise I just need to distance myself from her as I have learned she is actually a real power tripper that thrives on calling the shots with people. I am also feeling like I am getting the bug now. And that's the last thing i need as my OB has already told me my bub could come early.... DS came 2 months early, this one could come at any time and now I am falling sick because she was selfish.

    Should i just leave it or mention something? i feel really peeved off about it. She is expecting lots of play dates with me as her DS gets very limited social interaction as she feels guilty sending him to day care (so she says) but to me this is a bit of a red flag if she can't even follow the common courtesy to telling me when her kid is sick. She knows how often DS has been sick this year too with bugs from child care.

    No doubt if i mention something she will tell me DS caught it from his child care not her DS.
    Last edited by Serenity Love; 27-09-2014 at 09:55.

  2. #2
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    I would call her on it. People need boundaries. And yes I would have left as soon as I saw the other child was unwell. Just tell her that you are both sick now thanks to her selfishness.

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  4. #3
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    I would call her and tell her your DS is sick and that you're upset. If you think you need to.

    Alternatively. .. If it was me the next time she asks for a play date I would ask outright is your DS sick. ... And explain what happened last time and how upset you were. And how sick your DS got. Etc etc.



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  6. #4
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    Depends on whehter you still want to be friends after this.

    I've made bad calls at times about kids and play dates because I've just been desperate to provide entertainment. Or for whatever reason. If it ever came up incidentally to a conversation i might mention it but no I wouldn't go out of my way unless I was prepared to end the friendship.

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  8. #5
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    We had friends like this we invited them over for dinner one night on the weekend and they turned up that night complaining about there DS and that he has runs and the turned up him .....I could believe it .....just so selfish. ...

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    I would call her up on it. She needs to know where the line needs to be drawn and needs to respect when you say no.

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    I just sent her a text message letting her know my DS has been unwell all week since the visit and in future could she let me know if her DS is unwell as after the rough year we have had with illnesses i would like to have the boys catch up when they are both well. I am at the point with this friend where if she cuts me off over it then so be it. I feel it was really inconsiderate of her to expose DS and I to it just to keep her DS happy.

    I chose to text her as i don't want to get into it with her. Just wanted to let her know and leave it at that. Im not in the mood to have a lengthy discussion about it with her as my patience is running really thin with her as it is.
    Last edited by Serenity Love; 27-09-2014 at 14:59.

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  14. #8
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    Have you heard back from her? Sometimes a runny nose is normal... Kids go to daycare all the time with runny noses... However it sounds like her kid was beyond that. Either way I try and let visitors know if my kid has a cough/runny nose etc

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    Sooooooo annoying especially you being pregnant!!!! I'd never do that!!!

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  18. #10
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    Quote Originally Posted by VicPark View Post
    Have you heard back from her? Sometimes a runny nose is normal... Kids go to daycare all the time with runny noses... However it sounds like her kid was beyond that. Either way I try and let visitors know if my kid has a cough/runny nose etc
    Yeah he was beyond that, though of course she didn't let on to it but i could tell. The snot was thick and ********* down continuously and he was coughing and very sooky and pale etc.

    Plus she knows my track record this winter with DS, he has been sick so much and only just recovered from a horrid virus - he was finally feeling great again for a couple weeks and now he's back really sick again since being around her kid. Maybe it didn't effect her kid as bad as it is my DS, but it definitely wasn't just a runny nose. I dunno, it just seems so inconsiderate. No doubt she'll make out her kid wasn't that sick but while i was there she did let i slip he had been house bound for the past few days hence why she wanted us to come so bad to 'lift his mood'

    She hasn't written back. She probably wont either as she has gone very cold with me in the past for much less. For example if i didn't cancel plans to go see her etc. If she requested a day for us to catch up and i dared to say i couldn't make that day, i wouldn't hear from her for months! Yes she tells me all the time if she can't make it, or she just simply doesn't return my call or message to confirm the catch up time. She has been so rude about things. Very hot and cold. She cut me off for the duration that i BF DS because she didn't BF her's. She's reached out again now because her DS needs more friends.


 

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