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  1. #1
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    Default What do you say to an only child

    When they ask why you didn't have more children? Nearly 4 DS woke up crying in the middle of the night ( never happened before) saying "where's our baby" and I said what baby and he said why don't we have a baby, why don't I have a brother - I hugged him back to sleep and he hadn't said anything this morning - I'm assuming its because my sisters pregnant and his little friend from pre school just had a baby brother

    Obviously when he's older I'll tell him about the miscarriage and that we had been trying for years but what do you say to a younger child if they ask why they don't have any brothers or sisters?

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    I used to tell Ds1 that I only had enough love for him. If I had another baby I would have less time to spend with him. We wouldn't be able to have night snuggles.

    He was an only child until he was 5.
    He used to try to steal other people's babies. In a cute way.

    I'm sorry you are having to deal with this.
    It must break your heart.
    I think at 4 your little one would understand an angel. If you wanted to explain it that way he could talk to your angel every night before bed.



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    Elijahs Mum  (27-09-2014)

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    Ds (and anyone else that ask) are told one is enough for me. More attention, more love, more time. Ds has brothers at his fathers house so I never thought it would come up but it does from time to time as him wanting a sibling here too. I also address it with the question "why do you want one" and tackle the answer as honest as possible.

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    Elijahs Mum  (27-09-2014)

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    My DD is 4 and wants a baby brother or sister so badly....we told her when I fell pregnant but than had the painful job of telling her the baby went away when I lost it. I tell her about the positives of being an only child, that for now she has mummy and daddy all to herself, doesn't have to share her toys etc. it seems to make her a bit less sad until she sees her friends with their baby siblings and than it starts all over again...

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    Elijahs Mum  (27-09-2014)

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    Good question. I think I'm going to have the same soon too. DS is 3.5 and loves babies. Honestly when he asks I think I will be truthful with him. Tell him that Mummy and Daddy would love another baby but it isn't happening. When things arise health wise I tend to give him the truth and he has a basic understanding of human biology. We too lost his baby brother last year. I will tell him about his brother when he asks.

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    Hugs. Its hard. I actually never thought i would get the chance to have another baby but its on the cards in 2yrs time atm for me.

    DS who is 7 has wanted a little sister for a very long time. He has named other peoples babies for them over the years thinking we could keep them. I have always just told him i love him too much to share him with anyone else. He has been happy with that answer and hopefully will be for awhile til i can give him the baby sister(or brother) he wants.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Truffle View Post
    Good question. I think I'm going to have the same soon too. DS is 3.5 and loves babies. Honestly when he asks I think I will be truthful with him. Tell him that Mummy and Daddy would love another baby but it isn't happening. When things arise health wise I tend to give him the truth and he has a basic understanding of human biology. We too lost his baby brother last year. I will tell him about his brother when he asks.
    I think this is the best answer, specially if you may get pregnant again. How are you going to explain sharing love and toys if another child comes along? Saying I only have enough love for one is ok if you know you will never have another child though

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    ~Marigold~ is offline You make me happy, when skies are grey
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    My DS used to beg for a sibling throughout his childhood and I didn't have his sister until he was 12 years old.

    When he asked I'd always reply something along the lines of "if its meant to be it will happen. There might be an angel waiting to join our family but they won't be here until the time is right".
    He was comforted by that explanation

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    Last edited by ~Marigold~; 27-09-2014 at 10:59.

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    I would also like to know. My dd is 4 and last year we lost a baby at 21 weeks so she knew we were having a baby and she'd be a big sister. She still says to me "I miss our angel" and "I want another baby, when will we have another baby" etc. It breaks my heart. I have just been saying maybe one day we will have another baby, but she doesnt really understand she just says "well lets buy one" if only it were that easy.

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    My youngest, who is 7 now, and obviously not an only child has said several times over the years why he can't have a baby brother. Like truffles we told him age appropriate truth. We told him Mummy and Daddy badly wanted to give him and his sister another sibling but it wasn't happening that way (he had a basic knowledge of the m/c's). At the time we told him that there probably wouldn't be a baby for him.

    It's a tough situation when you have an only but not by choice I hope this changes soon for you.

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