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  1. #11
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    Quote Originally Posted by anewme View Post
    No one thinks your a diva. Everyone is trying to help you.
    It's your body and your baby.
    Being as informed as you can be is the very best idea. People are just trying point out things you may not of thought of.
    Sorry if that came across negative I know they are. I think I just have guilt over doing what could be perceived as a 'diva-ish' thing. All the replies have been wonderful, really.

  2. #12
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    Quote Originally Posted by meredithgrey View Post

    You need to think about what would you do if something happened earlier on in the pregnancy - premature labour, preterm rupture of membranes, any sort of bleeding??? Are you really going to drive 3 hours when you and/or your babies life is at risk?? What if you need extra monitoring during your pregnancy?
    This.

    It would be a different situation if you lived somewhere so remote there was no OB in your town and you had no choice, but to forgo obstetric care close by based on personality clash would be foolish and maybe even risky, in my opinion.

    No matter how much I disliked the OB in town, I would 110% be seeing him due to proximity.

  3. #13
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    If my next pregnancy was anything like my last, I would not do it. It was very high risk, but the chances of that ever happening to me again are like one in a zillion. We would know at the start if so.
    So in saying that, I would only ever do this if I were low risk. If anything happened, no, I would not drive 3 hours to deliver, I would present at my nearest local hospital. I'm not a risk taker. But if I could successfully do this, within reason, i'd like to.

    Maybe there's an option of sharing care between a local midwife, and my preferred OB? I'm not sure.

  4. #14
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    Quote Originally Posted by meredithgrey View Post
    Maybe consider moving down at 20-30 weeks with your other child and have your partner visit on weekends?

    I respect your choice to health care providers, it's the thought that if something were to go wrong during your pregnancy (as said in my previous post) your going to be stuck in the new town with doctors that know nothing about you or be making a 3 hour mercy dash to your doctor.

    And the little things like when you haven't felt baby move for a while, so you call birth suite and go in for a check up. Or getting some abdo pain that might be a UTI? Feeling quite wet down there and want to make sure your waters haven't broken? Bit of spotting? Where will you go to get those things checked out? New town hospital or head down to old town hospital?

    Sorry to be a negative nancy, but it's not just labour at 40ish weeks that you have to be thinking about when considering travel time to the hospital. (And the thought of a 6 hour drive for an antenatal appointment just makes me nauseous).
    As someone who's done it for three pregnancies, it's not so bad! I actually think it's really important to have a care provider you trust and feel comfortable with, OP. I did shared care with a semi local GP and my Ob and I was a high risk pregnancy all three times - my third was a prem and that was all handled smoothly.

  5. #15
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    Quote Originally Posted by meredithgrey View Post
    Maybe consider moving down at 20-30 weeks with your other child and have your partner visit on weekends?

    I respect your choice to health care providers, it's the thought that if something were to go wrong during your pregnancy (as said in my previous post) your going to be stuck in the new town with doctors that know nothing about you or be making a 3 hour mercy dash to your doctor.

    And the little things like when you haven't felt baby move for a while, so you call birth suite and go in for a check up. Or getting some abdo pain that might be a UTI? Feeling quite wet down there and want to make sure your waters haven't broken? Bit of spotting? Where will you go to get those things checked out? New town hospital or head down to old town hospital?

    Sorry to be a negative nancy, but it's not just labour at 40ish weeks that you have to be thinking about when considering travel time to the hospital. (And the thought of a 6 hour drive for an antenatal appointment just makes me nauseous).
    They're all really good points. Thank you It's these things I want to be able to consider too.
    Are you a midwife, or nurse? You give me the vibe that you've got some good knowledge lol.

  6. #16
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    I birthed somewhere 1 1/2 hours drive from home. It was fine during pregnancy, no worries. We went and stayed close by near due date and in the end had to stay 5 weeks! It was ok but you want to nestle in and nest and be comfortable in your home in that time, so I felt unsettled. But it wasn't too bad.

  7. #17
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    I've done it twice(we live rurally and have a hospital an hour away that I'm not fond of or the city 3 hours away), and the there and back trip in one day for antenatal appointments....just so I could have my ob, I don't think it's diva-ish I would rather have an ob who I am comfortable with. I went and stayed closer to the hospital and 37 - 38 weeks. If there is a next time I plan to do shared care with our local gp/ob but will still deliver in the city

  8. #18
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    Do you have to go private? What are the public local obs like? You couldn't pay me to give birth under a private ob.

  9. #19
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    I would travel 3 days to avoid the "care" provider who neglected, abused and traumatised me during my last birth. The choice is yours, but I absolutely would NOT see someone I was not comfortable with just because they were closer. Lesson learned too late for me, sadly. Saving 3 hours now could be a decision you pay for for the rest of your life. If he's being awful to you now, what will it be like when you're in labour and at your most vulnerable? I hope you're able to find a safe alternative to the local jerk. Good luck with your decision!

  10. #20
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    Quote Originally Posted by safam View Post
    I would travel 3 days to avoid the "care" provider who neglected, abused and traumatised me during my last birth. The choice is yours, but I absolutely would NOT see someone I was not comfortable with just because they were closer. Lesson learned too late for me, sadly. Saving 3 hours now could be a decision you pay for for the rest of your life. If he's being awful to you now, what will it be like when you're in labour and at your most vulnerable? I hope you're able to find a safe alternative to the local jerk. Good luck with your decision!
    My thought exactly! I encountered him when I had my 3rd miscarriage a few years ago (DH and I already regularly travel between these two towns for work & family reasons) and I happened to be in Town B when this happened.
    He spoke down to me, made me feel like an idiot for being upset, and told me it happens to women all around the world and to 'get over it'.

    So you're right, is hate to encounter him later in the more emotional stages of a pregnancy!

    By the way, you noticed I called the town we're moving to 'town b', as it's on the smaller side I don't want it known who I'm talking about.


 

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