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  1. #81
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    I pray that you will be strong to cope with this situation. Glad you are writing to the forum.
    Last edited by Rammie; 16-10-2014 at 13:16.

  2. #82
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    Thanks. Just really hoping he isn't doing what i think he is doing.

  3. #83
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    What do you think he's doing @Mom0120 ??

    I've had a read through this thread and it's just heartbreaking what your son is going through - it is likely to be the worst trauma he will ever go through, and it will be a completely life-changing event for him. He cannot be the person he was before the crash, and he will have to find a new way of living - he will have to find a whole new identity for himself, as the way he thought the world was, and who he was, has been totally ripped away. The world is not a safe place for him, it is one where anything can happen and those you love can be taken away in an instant.

    I haven't suffered anything nearly as traumatic as your son, but I did suffer somewhat in my teens and ended up suicidal. I'm not a therapist - so whatever you do make sure you are taking their advice - but I believe at this point, that drastic action needs to be taken. Certainly, if he is a danger to himself, then he does need committing and intensive help. However I do agree with previous posters - that if you can possibly get him away from his everyday life (with therapist approval of course) then I would not even worry about him finishing school - but get him away somewhere that he can do good - like volunteering in a third world country - with you of course, not on his own. I know you mentioned that he is in a lot of pain and couldn't do much with his back - but if you can get that under control, don't let that stop you. Can he do something with animals? They are a very healing - if his back was OK I would say get him out being a jackeroo for a year on a big station in the outback or something where he has the space to see a bigger picture. I think there are organisations that take troubled boys bush - maybe look into that as they do some good work. It just depends if your son is ready for something like that yet - he may be too traumatised.

    Many people will probably disagree with me, but school is irrelevant at this point. He won't be able to concentrate, he is unlikely to do well and it may just be another pressure that he doesn't need. If he was finding comfort and security in the routine of school and it was healing for him, then that's different - but that doesn't seem to be the case... I was a straight A student and dropped out of school due to trauma - and I ended up with three degrees and have made a big success of my life - so school is not the be all and end all - he can still go back and have a higher education in a few years when he's got himself sorted.

    As another poster mentioned the work of Anthony Robbins is brilliant and so is that of Dr John Demartini - I would get some stuff of their's that might be related to trauma and see if your son will listen to it - it might be a bit early yet for that type of thing - but at some point he may be ready to hear something that points him towards the future and seeing the tragedy from a different perspective.

    In the end, he will have to find a reason why this happened, and why he was spared. He will need to find a purpose for his life that makes sense to him, and it may take a while for him to sort through the pain and find a reason to live that honours those who were taken. I hope he has good therapists and counselors who can help him find that. Finding others who have been through tragedy and come out the other side is also another great idea, reading about people who have survived and turned their lives into something that has a lot of meaning, or helps others, would be great - books, support groups, one-on-one - whatever you can do to show him there is going to be a life after this - he has to put one foot in front of the other until he can see that too.


    I wish you the best with him - I so wish there was more I could say or do - I really feel for him and for you. Just hold on tight to him with everything you have because he is in such a dark place right now. Let him know you'll never give up on him. Lots of love xxxxx
    Last edited by Summer; 17-10-2014 at 11:51.

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  5. #84
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    Drugs, the needle marks have me concerned.

  6. #85
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    Are you sure they're needle marks? I imagine the hospital would have picked up on it and mentioned it to you when he was admitted

  7. #86
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    They showed up day after the tattoo. I am not sure what else they could be.

  8. #87
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    Not needle marks I feel stupid now.

  9. #88
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    What were they? And don't feel stupid. Your just concerned for your son!

  10. #89
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    Hi Mom0120,
    Thinking of you and your son.

  11. #90
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    From his tattoo i should of known better i suppose. He has been telling his therapist he still feels suicidal at times but it hasn't been near as bad as it was before.


 

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