I've had depression for 10 years.
I was on meds up until 6 months ago.
I've hit rock bottom this past month and I've got a thread I started about how's it been, I just progressively got worse.
Pretty much suffering the worst anxiety and depression I've ever had in my life. It's been debilitating and I never knew it could make you this physically ill.
Nightmares, constantly vomiting from anxiety, I've had passing thoughts of ending my life, headaches, panic attacks, body aches, you name it I've had it, it's just been the most hellish experience of my life.
DH has been off work for a week because I just can't live, I just can't cope.
I went to the dr on Wednesday, horrible experience.
I got in contact with my old dr (who is not close any more due to us moving, we live rural now and seeing a different dr wasn't really an option) and she has organized via phone everything the dr I seen on Wednesday should have.
I started anti-depressants yesterday, I'm having all the effects from when you first start them, but I'm feeling a little better, its mainly just nausea and headaches a bit of tiredness, I had anxiety attacks over starting them as I knew it would be like this. But I need them. I know I will get better, and some of my symptoms of depression and anxiety have subsided, it's such a nice feeling that the side effects are almost welcomed.
I have a counseling appointment soon that has been set up via a health care plan so the first 12 sessions are free, I still feel like My life is in tatters, but I can see now that things will slowly get better now.
I just keep telling myself I'm on a journey and this is the unsteady beginning to feeling happy.
Sorry, I'm most likely not of any help as I'm still sick with all this right now, I know there is light at the end of the tunnel now, but I still don't know when I will get there, but I have some hope today that I didn't have yesterday.
I just wanted to say, yes, the meds are pretty yuck to get on, but they can be such a great help!
My life would have ended 10 years ago if I never went on them.
Also what these past few days have taught me is a good doctor dose the world of good.
In regards to going off the meds, I've found depression and anxiety a much worse experience that what starting/ending meds is.
I was on Lovan to start with, I was on that for 6 years, but I wanted to try something different, coming off that was fine, a few headaches but nothing bad, I then went on pristiq which didn't work to well for me, coming off that was a little harder, headaches for about 2-3 days and just feeling a bit blah, it didn't effect my day to day activities though.
Then I went on Cymbalta which was excellent and I was happy on that, I felt normal and rational.
Cymbalta is said to be one of the hardest to come off.
After a few years of being on it I started feeling like I didn't need them any more, so I worked with my dr to come off them.
They were the hardest to come off, I had flu like symptoms for 3-4 days, but I got there.
Then I was fine. I was fine for 6 months until a series of stressful events happened and I just couldn't cope and my anxiety and depression came back with a vengeance.
Which brings me to now.
So yeah, they can be hard to come off, but it can be done and you will cross that bridge when you come to it.
You will only come off them when you feel better, so you will have a healthy mind set of "I can do this!" And not plagued by the negative thoughts that come with anxiety and depression.
You won't feel like you do right now when the time comes to go off meds.
For me I'm never going off them again.
I'm just so unstable right now I don't want to ever risk being like this again.
There is also LOTS of anti-deptessants, so if one doesn't work for you, then it's ok because there is other options.
Sorry I don't have any advise, I just wanted to let you know your not alone, and perhaps answer some of the questions of going on and off the meds.
Be kind to yourself