hi dueinaugust. it seems to be that both of you are dealing with your own issues and trying to hold it all together. I think counselling alone and together might be worthwhile. I would like to say, don't expect him to know what you are needing or wanting from the relationship. He has already created a big problem by cheating, he doesn't seem to be able to see past his own needs. I feel that both of you need help in different areas, and trying to stay married or sort out a divorce, is just going to add more to the mix. im sorry, I dont mean to offend, I hope the counselling works out. hugs, Marie.