+ Reply to Thread
Page 1 of 3 123 LastLast
Results 1 to 10 of 28
  1. #1
    Busy-Bee's Avatar
    Busy-Bee is offline Offending people since before Del :D
    Join Date
    Mar 2007
    Location
    Brisbane
    Posts
    11,183
    Thanks
    3,664
    Thanked
    4,704
    Reviews
    2
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 postsAmethyst Star - 5,000 postsEmerald Star - 10,000 posts
    Awards:
    Past Moderator - Thank you

    Default DD refusing to sleep because she is 'scared'

    DD will be 4 in December. She was a shocking sleeper as a baby but in the last year she is usually managing to go to sleep on her own and sleeping through the night about 4 nights out of 7. The other nights she would just wake up and want her teddy or a drink.

    Lately though she says she is scared and if she is left alone will just cry (and I am not one to let young children cry). This is not just when she goes to bed but during the night when she wakes up. She is still in a toddler bed so there is no room to snuggle in next to her, there is only a beanbag on the floor.

    I have asked her what she is scared of and the only answer I can get from her is "the shadows" or "the dark". I asked her if she was scared of monsters and she said "no, there's no such thing as monsters" so all I can gather is that what ever she is afraid of is more general rather than something specific. The thing is, I remember being scared of the dark as a young child and being dismissed by my parents and the persistent feelings of absolute terror so I am reluctant to tell her to just suck it up.

    We have tried night lights and even sleeping with the light on but that doesn't seem to work. She usually ends up in our bed but that means either an uncomfy night for DH and me, or DH sleeps on the couch which isn't really idea either. We've also tried rewards from stickers to big ticket items but is hasn't worked.

    Any ideas on how to help her get through this????

  2. #2
    Busy-Bee's Avatar
    Busy-Bee is offline Offending people since before Del :D
    Join Date
    Mar 2007
    Location
    Brisbane
    Posts
    11,183
    Thanks
    3,664
    Thanked
    4,704
    Reviews
    2
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 postsAmethyst Star - 5,000 postsEmerald Star - 10,000 posts
    Awards:
    Past Moderator - Thank you
    Anyone?

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Dec 2005
    Posts
    17,747
    Thanks
    5,085
    Thanked
    8,691
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 postsAmethyst Star - 5,000 postsEmerald Star - 10,000 postsRuby Star - 15,000 posts
    Awards:
    Past Moderator - Thank you
    100 Posts in a week
    At four mine were still co-sleeping at least part time and we laid with them as they went to sleep, so my (probably not very helpful) suggestion would be to look at moving her into a single bed or put a mattress on the floor in her room.
    Hopefully it's just a phase that will pass soon.

  4. The Following User Says Thank You to misskittyfantastico For This Useful Post:

    Busy-Bee  (21-09-2014)

  5. #4
    Join Date
    Dec 2009
    Posts
    704
    Thanks
    55
    Thanked
    129
    Reviews
    1
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 posts
    DD says exactly the same thing, scared of the shadows. I find that she has good and bad nights depending on how tired she is and how she goes to bed (early/ late), its usually worse if she is tired. She sleeps with a night light on, always. We often talk about nice things before we go to bed if she is scared like fairies and princesses. She picks a toy to cuddle and I tell her it will keep her safe. Sometimes I have to lay next to her until she is asleep as she wont close her eyes so I just rub her back until she drifts off.

    Maybe some ideas here, but otherwise I think it is a normal thing for this age.

    Sent from my GT-I9100 using The Bub Hub mobile app

  6. The Following User Says Thank You to HeyMissA For This Useful Post:

    Busy-Bee  (21-09-2014)

  7. #5
    Join Date
    Dec 2009
    Posts
    704
    Thanks
    55
    Thanked
    129
    Reviews
    1
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 posts
    Oh and we also 'super' praise sleeps through the night and have a rewards chart for it.

    Sent from my GT-I9100 using The Bub Hub mobile app

  8. The Following User Says Thank You to HeyMissA For This Useful Post:

    Busy-Bee  (21-09-2014)

  9. #6
    Join Date
    Jun 2012
    Location
    Canberra
    Posts
    2,645
    Thanks
    1,036
    Thanked
    863
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 posts
    I think you just have to go with it, it's a pretty normal phase at this age. Can you upgrade her to a single bed so there's more room to sleep with her when she needs, then leave when she's settled? Or the other option is to put a mattress on the floor next to her so you can lay down and hold her hand until she's asleep.

  10. The Following User Says Thank You to Bond Girl For This Useful Post:

    Busy-Bee  (21-09-2014)

  11. #7
    Join Date
    Aug 2013
    Posts
    665
    Thanks
    626
    Thanked
    265
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 posts
    This sounds exactly like my DD. Same age, same sleeping pattern and issues. At the moment she isn't too bad with regards to being scared. I elimanated some triggers for my DD which were watching certain shows with characters she found scary (some where quite surprising to me!) Or watching the news or hearing adults talk about something serious. I also lie down with her while she goes to sleep and when I turn the light out sometimes she wants to talk and get things of her chest.
    It can be hard to work it out but try taking to her about it during the day and it might give u a clue as to what she needs. Best of luck

  12. The Following User Says Thank You to Redcorset For This Useful Post:

    Busy-Bee  (21-09-2014)

  13. #8
    Gothel's Avatar
    Gothel is offline Skip the drama, stay with Mama!
    Join Date
    Apr 2007
    Location
    Stressame Street
    Posts
    6,515
    Thanks
    2,368
    Thanked
    2,113
    Reviews
    1
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 postsAmethyst Star - 5,000 posts
    Could you maybe try giving her some "strong" soft toys that will protect her? Dd5 went through a phase of waking up crying, and after trying a few things and missing a lot of sleep, we discovered that her toy tiger and dragon would protect her at night. The dragon chased away bad dreams and the tiger protected her if any got past the dragon. We made a big deal out of building a story around the toys and how they would protect her at night, and it worked a treat, no more night crying. To this day she still sleeps every night with the tiger, they're inseperable.

  14. The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to Gothel For This Useful Post:

    Busy-Bee  (21-09-2014),Gentoo  (21-09-2014)

  15. #9
    Join Date
    Sep 2009
    Posts
    3,487
    Thanks
    449
    Thanked
    1,571
    Reviews
    12
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 posts
    Can she sleep in your room on a mattress until she feels 'safe' again?

  16. The Following User Says Thank You to MummaOJ For This Useful Post:

    Busy-Bee  (21-09-2014)

  17. #10
    Join Date
    Mar 2013
    Posts
    1,456
    Thanks
    487
    Thanked
    1,049
    Reviews
    1
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 posts
    Quote Originally Posted by Gothel View Post
    Could you maybe try giving her some "strong" soft toys that will protect her? Dd5 went through a phase of waking up crying, and after trying a few things and missing a lot of sleep, we discovered that her toy tiger and dragon would protect her at night. The dragon chased away bad dreams and the tiger protected her if any got past the dragon. We made a big deal out of building a story around the toys and how they would protect her at night, and it worked a treat, no more night crying. To this day she still sleeps every night with the tiger, they're inseperable.
    I was coming to suggest this. Could you introduce a 'protector'? A toy or character who would watch over her while she sleeps & make sure nothing does her any harm? The reassurance may be all she needs.

  18. The Following User Says Thank You to TaylorMade For This Useful Post:

    Busy-Bee  (21-09-2014)


 

Similar Threads

  1. My 24mth DD is refusing to nap!
    By Jessbaby in forum 2 year olds
    Replies: 10
    Last Post: 14-09-2014, 15:26
  2. Refusing one side
    By HollyGolightly81 in forum Breastfeeding Support
    Replies: 13
    Last Post: 14-07-2014, 16:08
  3. Refusing to go to Pre-school
    By muminwaiting in forum 5 year olds
    Replies: 0
    Last Post: 16-02-2014, 22:34

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
free weekly newsletters | sign up now!
who are these people who write great posts? meet our hubbub authors!
Learn how you can contribute to the hubbub!

reviews
learn how you can become a reviewer!

competitions

forum - chatting now
christmas gift guidesee all Red Stocking
Babybee Prams
Save $50 in our pre-Christmas sale! All Comet's now only $500. Our bassinet & stroller set includes free shipping AUS wide, $75 free accessories, 18-months warranty & a 9 month free return policy. Check out our new designer range today!
sales & new stuffsee all
The Health Hub
Give a new mum a fitness boost for Christmas & New Year. Studio-based, small group training sessions - cardio, strength, core, Pilates & boxing. Choice of 16 hrs per week, flexible-arrival feature - bubs & kids welcome! Gift vouchers available.
featured supporter
Transition into Parenthood / Calmbirth Sydney
Julie's Transition into Parenthood and Calmbirth courses for pregnant couples will get you ready, prepared and organised for the wonderful birth of your beautiful new baby. Birth Support Doula training provided in 2017 open to all. Call 0401 265 530
gotcha
X

Pregnant for the first-time?

Not sure where to start? We can help!

Our Insider Programs for pregnancy first-timers will lead you step-by-step through the 14 Pregnancy Must Dos!