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  1. #21
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    I'm really surprised. If I told a friend I would be their matron of honour then I would never ditch them for a different wedding, especially not months later. If you accept something like that then you need to honour it, and be reliable. That person is relying on you! A first commitment must always take priority over a second. My best friends mean as much to me as family.

    Maybe it's just me; I'm truly surprised. And for a family wedding - again my family must be weird because every single time my brothers have checked with me first if the date suits. Cousin? No, but that's because they don't care if I come or not.

  2. #22
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    Hey guys, thanks for your input. I'm glad I got an objective point of view on it all. Your right, he is in a hard position & it isnt worth ending a long friendship over.

    DF wanted me to point out that his cousin only just turned 21 and only proposed because he knocked up his teenage girlfriend. I said it doesnt matter why they're getting married, even though its kind of insulting to us. They are close cousin wise, but DF and his friend have been best friends since his cousin was 5.
    For the record, I'm close with my cousins, but I'd choose my best friend over them any day, but every family is different I guess!

    I just dont understand that why cant his cousin ask a friend instead because his cousin is already apart of someone elses wedding? Why does it have to be us to?
    Family isnt everything, weddings are about the bride & groom, not their family.
    DF is so close to their entire family that they jokingly say hes their adopted son. At least the only positive in all of this is we dont have to be paying for an extra 10 people for our wedding now! (his family were invited to ours).
    We're thinking of just making the decision for him & getting someone else to be a grooms men in the wedding. The friendship probably wont be the same afterwards, but I guess thats life.

  3. #23
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    Quote Originally Posted by delirium View Post
    It sounds like both couples have set a date, then later asked this guy. Had either of the wedding parties asked if there were other weddings on they wouldn't have known about each other's weddings anyway given they are in different circles and by the OP took some time to ask the best man.
    The OP said they asked the best friend months ago and he said yes. Then only last night did he say the cousin has now asked him. If both couples asked him around the same time then absolutely I understand the dilemma, but the requests to this guy came months apart.

  4. #24
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    I think it's rude too MissMuppet. Had I already promised my best friend, I would decline my cousin's wedding. But it sounds like this guy is being put under a fair bit of pressure to choose his family's wedding and is feeling torn and frustrated himself. No matter what he does, he's going to p*ss someone off. OP is saying she thinks her partner should wipe him if he doesn't come, and I highly suspect the cousin and his Bridezilla missus is saying the same.

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    MissMuppet  (21-09-2014)

  6. #25
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    Just adding info for those who are confused.
    We got engaged early april, our wedding was organised in june.
    They only recently got engaged and booked their wedding, which is why they've only just asked him to be a part of it now.

  7. #26
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    Quote Originally Posted by MissMuppet View Post
    The OP said they asked the best friend months ago and he said yes. Then only last night did he say the cousin has now asked him. If both couples asked him around the same time then absolutely I understand the dilemma, but the requests to this guy came months apart.
    No I agree with you about that, I was more referring to the fact that they couldn't have known each others wedding was on.

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    MissMuppet  (21-09-2014)

  9. #27
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    I would be very annoyed OP. I can understand your DF being really upset.
    I dont get the "family trumps friends" comments. Friends are the family you choose. To me, my cousins mean very little. Often people are included in weddings just because they are family. Of course we don't know the relationship between te best man and his cousin. But obviously the cousin has a better friend as he chose someone else as best man.
    I do feel sorry for the poor guy stuck in the middle!

  10. #28
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    Quote Originally Posted by Pusheen The Cat View Post
    Just adding info for those who are confused.
    We got engaged early april, our wedding was organised in june.
    They only recently got engaged and booked their wedding, which is why they've only just asked him to be a part of it now.
    Ahh ok, thanks for clarifying. I'll stick with my first comment. It's a crappy outcome and I feel bad for your DF that this is happening, but I wouldn't wipe him. The mate is probably stressed to the max right now feeling like he will upset someone no matter what.

    Get your DF to have a chat to him, tell him obviously he wants him to be Best Man, but if he can't let him know now.

  11. #29
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    Del - I do agree that the friendship should not be wiped over this. I'd be disappointed and think he was rude, but yeah I wouldn't end the friendship.


 

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