Oh @Gelati you poor love. I don't have any idea what it's like to have a needle phobia but I do know what it's like to totally loose the plot with that first injection.
I ended up a crying, hyperventilating, dizzy, sick mess sitting on the kitchen floor with my first ever. I just couldn't do it. My DH ended up doing it and once I realised it wasn't as bad as I thought I slowly got better at it. It takes time, it's not easy but I promise you it will get better and you CAN do this. Big hugs. x